A few parting boots to the groin from Korea

I went to the bank today to send money home to Canada to pay for my storage. What a demoralizing trip that was! The exchange rate is CRAP! For Korean to Canadian that is. I probably should have sent more money home over the years but I have been waiting for the Korean won to get back to a place where a buck is about 1000 won. When I came here my paycheck of 1.2 million won was worth more than 1800 bucks. Now a paycheck of 2 million won is worth less than 1800 bucks. My pay has been going up over the years but its value has been going down. So the price of storage has been going up in Canadian dollars and WAY up in Korean won. A boot to the groin.

Not only that but as is customary in Korean banks, I had to take the money out of the bank machine in cash, hand it to the teller who put it back into the bank in cash. I asked her to use my card but she couldn't. So I had to get up, go to the cash machine, get the money, come back, give it to her so she could put it back. Good thing there was no line-up or I would have had to take another number and wait for this nonsense. It's happened to me before. A boot to the groin.

Then I bought some American dollars. That was even WORSE! The exchange rate is 1311! And I exchange once here for a crappy rate then have to exchange it in Thailand for another crappy rate. Between the devaluation of the won against the dollar and the crappy exchange rates I'll be forced to agree to, I'm probably losing 20 cents on the dollar. A boot to the groin. And when I told the teller how much I wanted she told me to go to the bank machine and take out the money so she could put it back in. I said, "You know this is crazy." She just giggled. I asked if I could use my card and she said no but then I asked if I could use my bankbook and she said, "Oh we can do that." The bank book had been sitting there in plain view throughout both transactions. And even if it hadn't been, is this something really tough to think to ask for? A boot to the groin.

And I signed a new contract today. With a raise that won't even cover the nosedive the Korean won has taken recently. Still, I'm content since I can't think of anything in Canada I could do where I would get so much time off. With pay. So if I figure how much I'm paid hourly, I'm getting a pretty awesome wage.

HOWEVER, the "dean" of one of the programs I teach for where I work gave me the "new and improved" marks for the students I taught. I have agreed over the years here to give the businesses MY marks and they can do what they want with them to keep students and parents happy and ensure we get MORE students next semester who don't want to work for their grades. I've taught at businesses where they bump up every student's grade to at least 70%. Even the ones who never see the inside of a classroom. I told them I would not do that because in my country it's called academic fraud and it's illegal. But I'm fine with it as long as they don't involve me in it. One business insisted that I sign the phony marks so I did. Homer Simpson. That's one of the answers in my facebook "How well do you know Dave" quiz.

They asked me to do the same thing here. And the marks had all been jacked up to a minimum of 75%. I made it clear to them at interview time that I don't do these things. And this is the first time in my 2 years, (4 semesters), here I've been asked to do it. I refused saying that I'll sign MY grades not someone else's and I also asked why I am being treated differently this year than I have been treated before. This is the one school at which I felt I had been treated well. In my FIRST year here, not this year! I only signed the contract because of the year when I was treated well. So I asked the guy what gives. Why am I being treated worse than ever and he gave some lame-ass excuse that made no sense but you and I both know the answer. Read the last two posts if you don't.

A boot to the groin.

Am I nuts to stay here another year? Is Korea ripe for a recession that will make my savings here worth half of what they are now? Are conditions just going to get worse here for foreigners? What new surprises are in store for me in my third year at Seokang? The answers to these questions and more will be here soon. But before that, I'll try to get these thoughts out of my head by traveling, golfing, swimming, sightseeing and probably drinking like a madman for a month or so. After that things won't look so glum I'm sure.

Next post will probably be written from Thailand.

Nervous about traveling

I am officially on vacation!

I handed in my official marks and official attendance today so I'm off till August 24th. This is the BEST time of the year. I have my whole vacation ahead of me. Lots of fun will be had without a doubt and at this time I have the most time left until I have to work again.

It's not the work I dread so much it's the immigration process, living in the dorm, office politics, and dealing with administration. But even without all that vacation sure does beat hell outta work!

Tomorrow I (hopefully) sign a new contract and then I'm flying to Bangkok the next day. I'll stay overnight there and get a van to Pattaya Thursday morning. I'm hoping to hit the driving range Thursday and the golf course on Friday. MAN I can't wait!

I'll golf for as long as it takes to get it out of my system then I'm going to Cambodia. It's gonna be hot but I am prepared. I've been walking in the sun and humidity here for the last little while and I can feel the old body begrudgingly switching to summer mode. I hate the heat.

If I have the time, and the money, and I haven't found gainful employment in late July/early August back in Korea, the plan is to go to Viet Nam. I keep hearing good stuff about it so I just might end up staying there longer than intended. I wonder if I should bring my golf clubs. I think I'll look that up. I'm sure the Americans made some courses while they were there so Bob Hope could play during his U.S.O. tours.

There's just one thing I'm worried about. If you know me and my experiences in travel, you know there should be more than one thing I'm worried about. But that's all I'm worried about so far. Just one thing. But it's a pretty big thing. Money.

It's all about Korean banks. And, again, if you know me you should know by now that I think Korean banks should all be blown up. Two years ago when I was last in Thailand I used my Korean bank card without any trouble. Normally foreigners can't do that because those priveleges, along with many others, have been taken away from foreigners with no good reason since I've been here. Oh they'll tell you it's to stop "money laundering" but they're so full of shit they're eyes are brown.

While I can see where the concern comes from, (Koreans are EXPERTS at making money in other countries, whether leagally or not, and sending it all back to Korea.), the majority of us foreigners here just don't make enough to be a drain on their national economy. And because of that a healthy chunk of it is spent right here in Korea thus IMPROVING their economy.

I recently tried to wire 400 bucks back to Canada to pay for some storage fees and because I didn't have my passport I couldn't do it. The teller said it was because of "money laundering". Yeah right! First of all some tellers do and some tellers don't need the passport. I've wired money home without it before many times. And second of all, who in the wide wide world of sports "launders" 400 bucks?

No the reason is simple: and you can read the post below to find out exactly what that reason is. Jeong, chauvinism, moral unity, has brought about some panicky, spur-of-the-moment, ready-fire-aim law enactment in the years I've been in Korea. It seems like when one or two foreigners are caught with drugs, we all have to be tested for them. When one or two are caught with fake diplomas, we all have to get ours verified. When one or two pedophiles are caught we all need criminal record checks and STD tests. When one or two are caught bringing home a lot of money bank laws are changed. Did I say "it seems like"? It doesn't seem like, it IS!

Koreans are awfully lucky other nations don't treat visiting Koreans the way they treat visitors to their country. They're lucky they don't all have to get psychological tests to see if they might be like Cho Seung Hee, (the Virginia Tech. shooter). Or get lie detector tests to see that they aren't faking any information on their immigration papers like the great Korean stem cell phony, Hwang Woo Suck. Or ethics tests so they don't steal government or trade secrets like a couple Koreans have recently done in Germany and the States. Or even get sexuality screening to make sure they aren't gay like Daniel Choi.

At any rate, because I obtained my bank card before they could hastily enact the law to discontinue all international services to foreigners, I can still take advantage of the privelege to make my bank obscene amounts of money withdrawing from bank machines in other countries at ridiculously bloated exchange rates. And service charges apply as well. It sure is a good thing for Korean banks that ALL foreigners can't make them tons of money this way when they explore S.E. Asia while working here in Korea. As they ALL DO! Hypernationalism costing Korea money. It's what's IN here.

A couple of times bank tellers have asked me to give them my card so they can change its status but haven't been able to do so retroactively. But silly me, I don't feel like bringing a pile of American dollars with me on my vacation so I went to my bank to try to ask somebody if my card would work. I don't know what I was thinking.

I get to the teller and she speaks zero English. Another thing I find on the DEcrease here is English service. There used to be a guy at my bank who always dealt with me. Kim Young Soo was his name. He wasn't awesome at English but he could always get the job done. He's the guy that gave me my international card when I opened my account many years ago. I haven't seen him since. Maybe he's serving time for the seditious act of treating a foreigner the same as a Korean. Who knows?

The "help" I get at my bank now is pretty much non-help. I go there very infrequently. I probably shouldn't have gone on this occasion either. The teller doesn't understand what I'm saying even though I say it in imperfect but passable Korean. I told her I was going to Thailand and asked if my card would be okay there. Her answer was "YEH?" I had to mime it a few times before she understood and said, "No." So I told her that two years ago I used it in Thailand and it was okay. Her answer was, "No." "Yes," I retort, "EE cheon chil nyun quinchunaiyo." That means, "2007 it was okay." To which she replies, "No." I reply, "So you're telling me I DIDN'T get the money I got from the bank machine in Thailand?" To which she responds, "YEH?" * "Yeh" doesn't mean "yes", it means "huh?". So she gets up and goes to a guy who speaks better English. I gotta give her credit for not instantly panicking and finding him. That sometimes happens.

While she does that I phone my friend April who works at a bank here and is Korean. She tells me I probably shouldn't have asked. But I really don't want to get to Thailand and try to use the cash machine to find it won't work. THAT would be something that would happen to me!

The teller and April talk on the phone for a while. She wants to give me this new card that is for foreigners so they can bank overseas. Of course there are massive restrictions and April told me it comes down to sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. That is just too much chance for disaster for me.

April tells me on the phone to make sure I don't give them the card and both the female teller and the English speaking male she had called over are asking repeatedly for it, asking for the number, leaning over and trying to see the number for themselves and copy it down and I'm pretty sure they were salivating a little bit. So I hung up with April and walked out of the bank.

I really wish I hadn't done that! It's not going to be too hard for them to find my account since they have two pictures of me on file, (passport and alien card), and I'd wager they have no other customers that look even a little bit like me. How hard would it be for these zealots to put the kibosh on my international banking priveleges?

So that's another adventure I might have to look forward to. But it's bound to make for a good post right here. Watch for it in a few days.

I'm no Minerva but boy did I call THIS!

In June of '08 I noticed some news stories about the HSBC takeover bid of KEB. The deadline came and went and I started writing and article for the Gwangju news predicting that this deal would be used as an indication of Korea's lack of genuine commitment to globalization. It appeared as though I might have been wrong. The story faded away for a while and I got so wrapped up in writing my article that it got too big for the Gwangju news. I thought I may have heard the last of this deal. But now it's back.

In a June 27th post I mentioned the OECD's evaluation of Korea calling them xenophobic and citing negative sentiment against foreign capital as a problem that Korea needs to fix to make itself a more globally viable market.

At the time I was reading stories in U.S. and British financial magazines basically saying that the HSBC deal was a sweet one for KEB but the Koreans involved in the deal STILL let good business sense take a back seat to hyper-nationalism.

I wrote in my June 27th post about Sun Tzu's ideas of "moral unity", keeping soldiers well trained to act in one accord. I wrote in my article about the idea of "jeong", which was explained by two Korean doctors as, "loyalty and commitment without validation, logic or reason." This "jeong" is a socially perpetuated, collective emotion. People don't say in Korean that one "has" jeong, rather they will say, "Jeong deulda." which means "jeong has pervaded." This is identical to the moral unity Sun Tzu strove for in his soldiers. And it's still part of every Korean's training.

I wrote about Tae Won Kun who served as regent to King Ko Jung of the Yi Dynasty about 150 years ago in Korea. Tae Won Kun killed French missionaries and Korean converts, German, American and Chinese people who were trying to open trade with Korea at the time. He had stone monuments erected all over Korea which read, "Western barbarians invade our land. If we do not fight we must then appease them. To appease them is to sell off our land. Ten thousand generations of Koreans must always bear this statement in mind."

I wrote about a guy named Nicolas Chauvin who lived in France about 250 years ago, a century before Tae Won Kun, who was ridiculed and mocked for excessive nationalistic fervor. In fact, before the battle of the sexes, that is exactly what the word, "chauvinism" meant.

Call it chauvinism, jeong, moral unity, whatever you want but it was mocked in France 250 years ago. It is STILL not only NOT mocked in Korea, it's encouraged. I have seen some sad results in Korean individuals. Though they are all one group of like-minded people, they are without much sense of individuality and identity which makes them feel strangely isolated and lonely. I prefer to call the situation "subdivisions" after a favourite Rush song of mine. The lyrics are a scarily accurate description of Korea. " Growing up it all seemed so one-sided. Opinions all provided. The future pre-decided. Detached and subdivided in the mass production zone. Nowhere is the dreamer or the misfit so alone... Conform or be cast out."

While Korea has caught up with wealthy nations such as France economically, this is one way that their culture is still lagging 250 years behind. 250 years behing THE FRENCH! And it could be enough to keep Korea on the outside looking in on the global market that is gaining momentum.

The HSBC/KEB deal is one example of how this Korean chauvinism, jeong, moral unity or whatever "ruptured" the deal. And if my senses are correct, and I'm pretty confident that they are, this jeong is not in decline, rather it's getting stronger among Koreans because they perceive their country as wealthy enough now to afford the luxury of excessive nationalistic fervor even at the expense of overseas business.

There is only one way to overcome this potentially economically crippling characteristic and its ubiquity throughout Korea: education. I also wrote about that in my article stating that since 1919 when the Korean "education" system was provided by the occupying Japanese and its purpose was to classically condition students to mold them into honourable subjects of the Japanese empire not much has changed except now the students are being molded into subjects of the Korean empire. Since the end of WWII when Korea got back control over its own schools they have been far more concerned with taking advantage of Korean "education fever" and making a TON of money rather than trashing this antiquated system and starting from scratch.

The catch 22 of the whole situation is that because Koreans are not properly educated to question things such as the failings of their national education system, they are blissfully unaware that it needs a massive overhaul. In the last election of Seoul Education Superintendant, the place where a change like this must begin, the newspapers reported that 15% of the people of Seoul voted. 74-year-old incumbent Kong Jeong Taek won again. He has strong ties to Korean president Lee Myung Baek and they believe that Korean students need to learn more English, not tolerance of the various cultures around the world who speak it. They believe that students should study the same outdated curriculum, but they need to study it HARDER. It's a moronic educational platform and I asked a few people in Seoul whether they knew anything about the candidates to which they replied, "No. I just voted for Kong because I thought he'd probably win."

The opponent was a 57-year-old Konkuk University TEACHER, Joo Kyung Bok. A guy who WORKS in the education system of Korea. I checked Kong's resume and his degree is in economics. Later he got one in education ADMINISTRATION to make himself LOOK like he is interested in education but really that's still just the BUSINESS of education isn't it?

Joo's platform was, sure enough, to "scrap educational policies that undermine the public education." Now whether he'd do it or not is another matter. I'm not one to put my faith in politicians. What I was more concerned with was that the Korean people VOTED for the right candidate in recognition of this need for educational reform. But it didn't happen. I'm afraid it's going to be a long time before it DOES happen. Most likely too long.

This HSBC/KEB deal could very well be the rock that comes loose to start the landslide of Korean business partners moving away from Korea to greener pastures. There is a possibility that the Korean government will be sued for killing the deal. No doubt then the world will see what so many people have already seen: the COURTS of this country will stall, lie, fabricate "evidence" and pull all kinds of rabbits out of their hats to prevent Korea from losing. Because of the same jeong, chauvinism, moral unity, subdivisions or whatever that stalled the deal.

Yet somehow through these years the Korean economy hasn't crumbled and maybe for the same reasons, I haven't left Korea. Is it possible that despite all this, Korea is STILL a better deal than other countries? It IS for me. I just hope all the Korean money I'm saving won't be worthless by the time I leave this country. Certainly if they would mend the education system and get more global thinking and global business their currency would get stronger and I'd actually MAKE money. But that, I'm afraid, is wishful thinking.

The beginning of the end

Final exam week has officially begun. I gave two of my four exams this morning. (Monday). My big, good class and my small not so good class at 10 and 11 respectively. The final exam is proving to be VERY tough for them. I am over the moon about this! Let me splain.

As mentioned in the previous entry I get a little sick of rewarding the bad students and giving the good students nothing for their efforts. I have discovered one way to make sure things are evened out a bit and give the good students a little taste of what it's like to get bonus marks just handed to them: give a tough exam. I don't know if it's a really good thing to do but it's gonna make ME feel good.

See with the final being so hard the good students will get marks like 75 or 85 rather than 95 or 100. The bad students will get 0, 10, 15 like they always do. The bad students will still end up at 70 and the good students will still end up at 100 but the route there will be a little more even. The bad students' grades will still be jacked up the same amount but the GOOD students grades will be jacked up MORE. I'll get the pleasure of boosting my good students' scores 15, 20, maybe 30 percent because they earned it. This will make me feel just a bit better about giving such huge bonuses to students who haven't earned them.

Funny thing about the final exam though: there is just no reason for anyone to get a bad mark. First of all I covered jobs, present continuous, present and future tenses in detail during the year. In the review class I did about 10 examples of pictures from the text and I asked four questions: 1. What does he/she do? 2. What is he/she going to do later? 3. Where does he/she work? 4. What does he/she do every day.

One example was a doctor. She is a doctor. She is going to eat lunch/go home/help another patient/call her husband/whatever. She works in a hospital. She wears a uniform/helps people/stands all day/talks to patients/listens to hearts etc.

Another example was a cashier. She is a cashier. She is going to go home/eat lunch/watch TV/go to a movie/eat dinner/go to bed/whatever. She works in a store. She handles money/she counts money/she talks to people/she stands all day/ she wears a uniform/she takes money etc.

We did this for most of the review hour. On the test the second page has 4 pictures, one is a doctor and one is a cashier. One is a chef which I also covered in the review. The other is a bellboy if you are wondering. For all four pictures there are three questions: What does he/she do? Where does he/she work? and What does he/she do every day? A MASSIVE amount of my students completely skipped page 2. Left it blank.

Page 3 has a picture and a few questions about it. The first question is "What is the bee doing?" Answer is "It is flying." Present continuous. Should be easy. We covered that for a month. Then there is a future question. In the picture there is a man about to kill the bee with a rolled up newspaper and the question is "What's going to happen to the bee?" Answer: "The bee is going to die." In the instructions for page 3 I told students to "use full sentences." I understand that some don't know what that means so on the board I drew a picture of a sleeping dog and asked, "What is the dog doing?" I wrote "seeping" then XXXed it out. Then I wrote "It is sleeping." and put a check mark beside it.

Question number 2 on page 3 is "What is the dog doing?" In the picture there is a dog who is sleeping. A MASSIVE number of my students skipped number 1 AND number 2. In fact I have a pile of papers with pages two and three both blank. Oh well easier for me to mark I suppose. :)

I don't think this is just because my students are stupid or anything like that. As I said in the last entry the way things are here they just don't care enough to study. I don't think they care enough to exert the effort on the exam even if they CAN do the questions right. I saw several students who answered the first questions on page 2 or 3, and answered them RIGHT, but left the rest blank. They're just tired, lazy or not motivated. And if I knew I could get a good mark without doing any work, without even SHOWING UP, I'd most likely be the same way.

But I DID take a little bit of pleasure today in refusing a test to one of my students. First time I've ever done that. He came to one class in first semester and one in second. Throughout BOTH classes he was texting and even TALKING on his phone despite my frequent admonitions. I made a note in the margin on my attendance so I could remember him. The note read, "phone asshole".

He showed up for the final exam today about 15 minutes late with one of the other guys who had taken most of the classes off. I only had one exam left. Phone asshole tried to take it but I pulled it away and gave it to the other guy who promptly did the first page and gave it back. While he did that Phone Asshole texted somebody and waited. Then the other guy handed in the test and both left.

This is why I get down on my job at this time of year.

The parable of Kasia and David

It's the time of the year, or I guess it's one of TWO times in the year when I get really introspective about what exactly it is I'm doing here. I like to tell people that my life is all about reducing stress. And in that way I have been quite successful, but now is the time of year I feel the most stress. When I see the inequality and backwardness of the system here, the system that I enable, it makes me sad. Let me splain.

Lo, these great many years ago in the time of our forefathers at Seokang College Kasia and David, instructors in the righteous tongue of the Anglos, were moved toward an idea. They sought solace for their young apprentices from the rigors of final examinations in elective courses such as the righteous tongue of the Anglos. Such solace that they might strive to better themselves in the skills of their majors. Verily the wise instructors Kasia and David didst offer their final examinations in the week preceeding final examination week. This brought about exceeding great joy! The students exalted in spiritual delight for they achieved glorius grades in their majors and their works were chronicled in song. Parents sung the praises of Seokang College. College teachers delighted in the progressions of their young charges. College administrators revelled in abundant registration. Truly great joy did pervade.

Then, as is wont to happen, the Korean teachers did espy what the wise instructors Kasia and David were about and they coveted. They coveted that through their efforts the great and wise instructors, Kasia and David, did gain approbation of the people, (not to mention seven extra days with which to practice leisure of their choice). They were moved to derision and scorn. There was multitudinous backbiting and gnashing of teeth.

So it came to pass that in great dereliction of duty and their apprentices, Korean teachers did usurp the examination dates of that week before examination week and didst experience a surfeit of leisure. And there was much suffering at Seokang College. Students had narry enough time to prepare for major tests and did perform poorly. Then disheartened and spent they did bomb their examinations in elective studies such as the righteous tongue of the Anglos. Parents seethed at the failure of their progeny. Administrators trembled and quaked in fear of failing enrollment.

And so it followed that Seokang experienced great famine. And in despair for his people the great Pharoh of Seokang, Park, decreed that henceforward students grades shall not drop below the mean line regardless of effort or performance and instructors shall suckle their students on milk and sweet honey sparing them the meat that is hard to chew. And once again Seokang flourished. But the great instructors Kasia and David did never again deliver examinations in that week prior to exam week. And students did never again achieve the greatness that once was.

Thus is the parable of Seokang and the great instructors Kasia and David. Thus saith the Lord.

Anyway, I'm still giving exams next week during exam week and everywhere I look this week I see Korean teachers giving their exams. My students are already telling me how depressed they are about bad marks. And in their depression they'll sleep, they'll drink soju, they'll call home and cry, they'll do just about anything but study for MY exam.

What I've tried to do this week is use it as a week of marking homework assignments and giving a review/hints for the final exam. I do that in the first hour. Then I give the students the next class off because it is the good students who made it to the first class. Only the bad students will miss the homework check and exam hints. But I go to class anyway just in case some stragglers show up who don't know the others have the class off. Then I check their homework and give them a watered down review/test hints. This is the ONLY reward the good students here get for being good. In every other way the BAD students are rewarded. This is what makes me question myself every year.

Next week I'll give exams and I'll be marking them getting more and more depressed. Some of my good students will ace the exam thereby earning every mark they get. They'll get like 95%, 90%, scores like that. But in every class there will be the bad students who somehow manage to get like 3% or 10%. What will happen is their scores will be jacked up to 70 so they get an extra 60% for being lazyass slackers while my good students get an extra 5 or 10% for being awesome. The moral? Don't try, it's not worth it. And by teaching here I ENABLE this non-education. This depresses me twice a year.

However, on the plus side I am planning a vacation to try to put this out of my mind. I think I'm finally going to make it to Angkor Wat! I'm gonna go to Pattaya and golf a bit and from there there are tours to Angkor Wat. Then if time and money permit I'm gonna try to get to Halong Bay in Viet Nam. I'm sure that'll make me forget about how crappy I'm gonna feel for all my best students this session. And at least this week I have given them a class or two off. That's all they get for coming to class every day, listening, taking notes, doing their homework and doing the right thing.

Sigh.

The nature of the beast

I believe that any important lesson we could possibly need to learn about life can be learned directly or through analogy by looking at nature. I love nature! If you asked me my religion and forced me to reply I'd say the most accurate answer would be that I'm a Pantheist. I believe nature provides all I need and all I want. I feel closest to God in nature. Nature is pretty much God.

I also believe that if you want to know the nature of the beast, observe the beast in its natural environment. Like most foreigners here, my spare time in Korea has been an extended sociological and anthropological study on the Korean. Whether or not we take notes, publish papers or write books, we are all gathering data on the Korean while we spend time with them in their natural environment, that being the streets and highways, classrooms, in front of computers and in the restaurant/bars.

It's rare to find a tourist in Korea so without too much generalization, foreigners in Korea are engaging in business with Koreans in some way. In almost every case we are shocked when our Korean business partners do something outside the boundaries of what would internationally be considered good honest business. Had we taken the time to observe them in the wild, (so to speak), there would be no shock short of finding a Korean business partner who believes good honest business exists.

Let me give you a few examples. I started playing Starcraft because it is by far the biggest thing to hit Korea since, I don't know, chopsticks. When I first got here it was an industry of its own. People were making entire internet cafes for ONLY Starcraft. It remains a very popular game here. A guy could make a good living playing Starcraft professionally. In fact the best players are asked for autographs and undoubtedly GET LAID!!! I had to see what all the fuss was about so I tried it. It IS fun. I was going through the levels and I got to the last one but tried maybe 10 times and failed to make it through. I asked a Korean friend to help. He said, "Oh that level is really easy. I'll show you." He hopped on my computer and started punching in cheat code after cheat code. "Power overwhelming", "There is no cow level", and I forget the others. I said, "No, no no. No cheat codes. I don't use them." The look he gave me was a wondrous anthropological study in itself. He could not conceive of doing that. He asked, "WHY?" Instead of saying something like I prefer to do things honestly or work for what I get or earn the victory, I simply asked him why he used cheat codes. I think I saw smoke come out his ears. It is just not DONE any other way. You MUST cheat! I eventually figured it out without his help or cheat codes. And it felt really good to win honestly.

The other day I was walking down the street and I saw another anthropological gem at a three-way stop light. There was a car going through a red light across the horizontal top part of the T intersection. There was also a motorcycle going through a red light going up the vertical part of the T and turning left onto the top horizontal. They met in the middle of the horizontal both wildly blowing their horns and cursing at each other. Let me clarify, both were breaking the law and inconveniencing another person and both were FURIOUS at the other for breaking the same law they were breaking because it inconvenienced them. Again I wished I had a movie camera.

Once I was working at a school and it was final exam time. The Korean teachers all got together and made the exam schedule without the foreign teachers input. Of course foreign teachers got every single one of the dreaded morning exam times and we also got the exams latest in the week. I had three subjects that all had exams Friday, (the last day of exam week), at 8:00 A.M. Of course there is no way for me to proctor three exams in three different rooms all at the same time. Conflicts were not a priority at the meeting. I could have easily switched times with another teacher because I noticed the conflict early in the week with enough time to adjust the schedule. However, the eventual solution was for me to combine all three of my classes into one giant room so as not to inconvenience any of the other, (Korean), professors who already had their schedules and didn't want to disrupt them.

These are not isolated incidents, they are daily occurences for myself and every other foreigner in Korea. It's not that I haven't gotten used to it, after all I've been here 9 years, it's just that I can't wrap my head around the idea of Korea's economy, more specifically international trade here, continuing to grow. It's either a tribute to the acting skills of Korean businessmen in the boardrooms, or a sad statement about every other country in the world that they aren't preferable to Koreans. Either way it's a wonder to me.

Sleepless in Seokang

It's 2:00 in the morning. Here I sit having been awakened for the second time in two sleeps by people who I can't blame. They are the products of ersatz education and a marred social system that might make Korea the only country today that is an ultra-industrialized, capitalist society moving AWAY from globalization.

I'll deal with little Lord Fuckpants outside banging on MY window at 2:00 while I'm sleeping. He's not a little late for curfew, it was 2 hours ago. He's a little EARLY for when the doors open at 6. A normal human being would realize that his decision to have not one, not two but THREE extra bottles of soju with the boys on a Monday night by the unspoken international rules of conduct disqualifies him from any claim to compassion particularly from anyone who he has just awoken out of a deep sleep by knocking on their window. But little Lord Fuckpants knows nothing of the unspoken international rules of conduct. In fact he has been sheltered from them, among MANY other things, during his upbringing.

I was having a dream. The kind of dream I have in the Seokang University dormitory. It's a kind that's not uncommon in Korea. The kind that comes from pent up aggression and feelings of helplessness to change one's situation. I was with a group of people. Four of us. We were having a fight with four other people. My comrades were captured by one dangerous looking guy with a knife. He was yelling at me and challenging me to come out and fight. (I think that probably the shouts of the student outside to get someone to let him in were translated into his shouts of challenge in my dream.) So I came out with my single shot lever action Rifleman rifle, aimed and shot this guy right in the chest. I think it must have only been a .22 cuz the guy kept yelling and he kept coming. I pumped, aimed and shot again. This time I got him in the leg. But he kept yelling and he kept coming. I shot him a third time in the belly to no effect. The fourth shot was to be a head shot but I didn't see the results because I was shocked out of my dream by the knocking on my window.

I can't tell you how often I am shocked out of sleep in the dormitory at Seokang University. It's not nice and I'm pretty sure it's not healthy but it happens almost every night to me. Often more than once a night. So anyway, little Lord Fuckpants proceeds to knock on several windows at ground level and yell to anyone who will awaken and let him in. The thing is it's not possible for an ordinary student to let him in. Only the caretakers or teachers who have keys to the entrances can do it. Students all have cards to the main doors but they are useless after curfew. If our little Lord is privy to this knowledge it does not dissuade him from waking up twenty, thirty, fifty people if need be, to satisfy HIS needs.

Because his folks are the owners of the third largest tire store in Gwangju, (or some shit like that), one of the Idon'tcaretakers or teachers has just let him in. Unspoken approbation of his misdeeds and encouragement to do them all again. Not only will he be late many more times for curfew, this boy will be an hour late for his final exam. If you think this is exaggeration for effect, I had SEVERAL students, (I'd guess about 20), who were anywhere from 15-30 minutes late for their midterms and one guy and one girl who were one hour late! And I let them write too! Cuz that's what we do here! And despite the fact they both failed hideously, they're both gonna PASS! And little Lord Fuckpants he's gonna be successful. His childish, narcissism will translate into what people call gumption, auspiciousness, drive to succeed, singl-mindedness of purpose, upward mobility, (a divorce or two), and MY favourite, a word that used to be bad but is now good: ambition.

The things that kills me is there is probably another kid who missed curfew by 10 minutes for reasons beyond his control who is now paying for his own hotel room or sleeping outside getting bitten by mosquitoes all night long. Or maybe he's sitting with a friend WHISPERING! I don't recall EVER hearing a Korean whisper so as not to wake someone else up. THIS is the kid I want to point down the path of success. THIS is the kid who could do himself and his country proud. This is a kid who was probably raised right or at least he/she somehow discovered right. This is a kid who'll be driving taxi or selling snacks or Chinese toys on the highway, or collecting cardboard in Korea. So sad!

The FIRST time I was awakened today, (or more accurately, yesterday), was at 8:00 in the morning by the Idon'tcaretaker who had dragged the hose out presumably to water the grass in the courtyard and decided to turn it on MY OPEN window! Only mine noone else's. Of all the 100 windows in the dorm, mine was the only one he chose to "wash". Of course since I don't work until 4 PM on Mondays I was asleep. The water on the window woke me up and I was pretty sure some of it had made its way through the screen, through the blinds and into my room but I did my best to keep from turning over and investigating. I did this for two reasons, firstly because I don't want to go to jail for murder and secondly to see if I could maybe put it out of my mind and go back to sleep. I tried but couldn't. I turned over and there was water all over my drying laundry, a lamp, a couple of my books, my heater, my floor. I was pissed off.

But I waited. I waited a while. I didn't want to go out before I calmed down. With all the run-ins I've already had with the Idon'tcaretakers here I tried my best to avoid yet another. So I calmly walked out to see who the jackass with the hose was. It turned out to be the guy I was hoping it wasn't. You see earlier in the week my TV had exploded and I had asked this guy nicely and in an adult fashion how and when I could dispose of it. That was my first mistake. These guys don't respond to that approach. They take it as a sign that they can be lazy and just lie to you and make an appointment they have no intention of keeping. That's what this guy had done. Tomorrow at 1 was the time and, of course, tomorrow at 1 he was nowhere to be seen. Also, this guy has been on a footwear crusade the whole time I've been here this year. If I take a step outside my door without shoes or slippers on this mouth-breather is on me like white on rice, "Shin pal! Shin pal!" like I'm committing a crime. "Shin pal" means shoes.

So I told the guy to follow me. I pointed at my still dripping, open window and asked him, "What the fuck?" My calmness was eroding. He tried to look at me like he didn't understand the problem! The balls! So then I said, "Come here." I stormed into my room, picked up my TV and started taking it out to the lobby. He was in my room. Like all the Idon'tcaretakers, this guy just loves coming into my room. He was blocking me from taking the TV out. I was pushing him backwards with the TV getting more and more pissed off. I pushed him right out my door, slammed the TV on the floor where he wouldn't conveniently forget about it then went back to my room. I tried to close the door but he blocked it and again came one step inside my room. I don't know how I refrained from clocking this guy. In fact a tune job might have been exactly what he wanted. But I put my hand on his chest, pushed him out and saying, "Sudegi," which means garbage in Korean I closed my door and locked it. I heard him say two or three times through the door, "Sudegi. Ah sudegi. Sudegi." Like he had no idea what I wanted done with the TV even though I'd told him already two times.

Ignorance is the cause of racism and chauvinism. These Idon'tcaretakers are not hired for their intellect. These days without exception, every time I leave my room I have somebody say to me, "Hello, I love you, I am fine, how are you thank you and you?" to the amusement of the crowd of friends they happen to be with at the time. If not that I get the Koreans who DO whisper. They whisper things like, "Look at the foreigner." "Here comes a foreigner." "He's your boyfriend. NO he's YOUR boyfriend." This would be whispering for the preservation of SELF, not others. When I came to Korea in 1996 these things happened but they were not happening EVERY SINGLE TIME I went out amongst Koreans.

Not too long ago I was recruited by my boss to make a little promotional video for Seokang University. I had this line, "Encouraging global thinking for the future!" or some dumb shit like that. I realize now that it is the perfect slogan for this place and this country. It's like "Deluxe all natural, home-made goodness in a can." It's the exact opposite of what they are doing. The slogan should be "Promoting selfish thinking for our own future!" But as long as you give the appearance of doing the right thing, you'll be okay. And as long as thinking like this produces good capitalists, good soldiers and good consumers the training will continue. Why fix what ain't broke.

I'll tell you why: because it IS broke. And soon Korea will learn the meaning of globalization the hard way. It seems to be the only way they learn anything. And because of their one-sided business practices people will simply shop elsewhere and Korea will be the student knocking on the windows of the world markets pleading to be let in. Only they WON'T be let in. At least that's the future I see for Korea if they don't start educating their people. I could be wrong. They DO have a program by which children of the rich get educated in foreign countries so maybe these kids will have the smarts to think glabally while the rest of their country continues to be trained to look inward. Ahhh, I'm no economist and I'm pretty grumpy from being woken up. I could have a slightly jaded view here.

Joe Beom Hyun, HIT AND RUN!!!

Just got back from the game. Kia won 8-1! It was one of the better games I've been to. I wish I could watch the re-broadcast right now but my TV is now an expensive and not very comfortable ottoman. It was different for many reasons. VERY different! Let me splain.

First of all because of the death of Roh Moo Hyun there were no cheerleaders. I didn't know that was the case until I got to the game. That was strange.

Secondly I am so sick of baseball game chicken I stopped by Im Shil Pizza and got a pie to bring to the game. That difference was very nice!

Thirdly, because of the pizza and because I was late I had to take a taxi to the game. First time this year I didn't walk there.

Fourthly, I sat on the 3rd base side of the stadium because I was late for the game and that side fills up slower. NOT because there were no cheerleaders. (Cheerleaders are on the 1st base side). Also it gave me a good chance to get close to the 3rd base coach, who calls the signs for the batters and I could see into the dugout to see what the players and coach were doing. Maybe I'm dreaming but I just might have had an effect on the outcome tonight.

Let me set the scene. It was the 4th inning. Kia was ahead 3-0. The lead-off hitter got on. I just KNEW Jo was gonna call the bunt. So I was yelling and screaming and making X signs with my arms but they bunted anyway. It was a perfect sac bunt. But then the next hitter walked nullifying it. That usually happens. They managed to score a run in the inning but they left two guys on. Without bunting they would have had another at bat with two runners aboard. THAT is what you sacrifice when you sac. bunt. I was not happy with the one run.

Later in the 7th inning Kim Weon Seop is the lead-off hitter. He gets on. Next is Lee Jong Beom, a great contact hitter and one of the best players in the HISTORY of Korean baseball. Kim Weon Seop is the fastest guy on our team. Kia is up 4-1. ABSOLUTELY PERFECT hit and run opportunity. Lee Jong Beom squares around to bunt. I got NUTS! A couple people called me and told me I was on TV tonight. I'm hoping THIS is when. Luckily the bunt attempt was foul. Then it happened. Somehow, I don't know how, maybe they saw me on TV, maybe they heard me yelling or saw me doing bunt gestures and shaking my head or making a big X with my arms, or maybe someone else knocked some sense into the coaches, I don't know but on the next pitch Lee Jong Beom did NOT square around to bunt. A pitch or two later might be the most beautiful pitch I've ever seen here! Kim Weon Seop took off for second. The pitch was high. But Lee Jong Beom took a very ugly swing at it anyway. I get the feeling he hasn't done the hit and run a lot because it was an AWFUL swing! But it was a swing nonetheless. Hallelujiah, the HIT AND RUN!!! The ball was a perfect double play ball straight to the second baseman and instead of jumping over it Kim Weon Seop slowed down and let it pass in front of him but he was STILL safe at second. The throw to first was NOT IN TIME!!! YEEHAW!!! Nobody out and two guys on!

Next hitter gets a base hit. Run scored! Next hitter flies out but the runner on third scores! One out and two runs in. Next hitter got out but because there was no damn sacrifice we still had one more chance with two runners on. BAM! Two MORE runs scored! We got four runs in the inning and put the game out of reach at 8-1. So technically it turned out we didn't NEED those runs but I was high fiving total strangers while they were coming around.

I bash Jo Beom Hyun for NOT calling the hit and run and bunting too much so I better give him credit for NOT bunting and calling the hit and run. That was SWEET to watch. I hope I see it again! And I hope I had just a little to do with it although I really don't think I did.

However, one other time the starter, Guttormson, had loaded the based with only one out and the pitching coaches came out for the second time in the game and I was yelling in English and Korean for them NOT to take him out. I don't remember ever seeing them visit the mound for a second time without pulling the pitcher. But this time they DID. And Guttormson got the next two guys out! You can bet one of the relief pitchers would have allowed at least one of them to score.

Whether they did any of this even partially because of me is doubtful. But they played the game RIGHT today and look what happened! 8-1!

So I guess I'll hold off on becoming a Lotte Giants fan for a little while.

Two conspiracy theories for the price of one

It's quite a news weekend here in Korea! Former president Roh, (pronounced No), Moo Hyun is said to have committed suicide. Here's the article from a local English paper. I have a feeling we haven't heard the last of this. Read it and tell me if you find anything suspicious. I sure do.

First of all does he often go hiking alone with a security guard? I know he's a public figure but was he THAT famous? And it was pretty dog gone early in the morning to be so worried about being mobbed by adoring, (or not adoring), fans. I think it's probably scumbag businessmen he's worried about more than fans. But I want to know more about this security guard who is presumably tough enough to stop people from killing Roh but not tough enough to stop him from kiling himself. AND who gave him a last cigarette as if he were the firing squad commander. Very suspicious.

I am also kind of puzzled by his selection of location. If I were to kill myself I might do it in nature like that, instead of an office building, but a 30-meter cliff? That's just high enough to break a few bones. And he WASN'T dead until the first response and medical services of Korea, (whose ineptitude I have written about before), got ahold of him. They say it nicely in the article but what they did was they took him to the wrong hospital then had to transfer him again. Par for the course. And brain massage? That might be a genuine medical procedure but it conjures up images of Koreans pounding themselves or each other in injured areas. I wonder what "brain massage" entailed.

They found suicide notes but please, anyone can type a suicide note on someone's computer. I'm thinking of the situation he was in. Here is a president who two of my friends have told me, (spookily enough within the last month!), was one of Korea's best. From what I've heard he actually DID do some things to fight corruption in Korea. That alone would be a very good reason for him to have a security guard with him at all times. And now, (huMONGOUS surprise!), it's been found out that he may have been corrupt himself. Although I don't think a measly 6.4 mil. would even be enough to QUALIFY as corruption here! He'll still be fondly remembered as a relatively squeaky clean politician. To me, a small amount of corruption like that seems more like a hastily manufactured explanation for suicide.

In a country that may be more capitalist than any other, where money is the measure of a man by traditional and modern social ideals, where you'd be more likely to sight Bigfoot than an honest businessman, (and where more people believe the former exists than the latter), politics is gonna be a cesspool of deceit. What if there really WAS a guy who was honest? An uncorruptable politician who made it to the presidency and made it harder for dishonest, not-so-hard-working guys to steal a buck. Or a won. What would you do with a guy like that. You'd try realy hard to pass the money disease on to him of course. But if that failed, you'd make him look like he was corrupt. Just so nobody else thinks there can be such a thing as an honest politician in Korea and no future Roh Moo Hyun admirers will rise up to disrupt the well oiled capitalist corruption machine that is the Korean economy. And then just so he can't defend himself against the corruption charges, (or reveal anything that might reveal real corruption on YOUR part), you'd rub him out. Really, in a place like this how hard would it be to corrupt, say, a body guard or an ambulance driver or a doctor?

Maybe I've been watching too much CSI but I have a feeling there's more to this than meets the public eye. I said earlier that we may not have heard the last of this but on second thought even if this IS all an elaborate assassination of a former president, I doubt anyone will ever know. Intriguing though. It may not be the Kennedy assassination but I bet they'll make a movie soon.

At any rate, I may be the last guy in the country to hear about it. One of the reasons is that for the second time in two years my damn TV blew up! How can that happen to one guy so often? This time it wasn't as smoky an explosion but it set off a kind of alarm and it wouldn't stop beeping until I unplugged the TV. That is not easily done since in any room here you are VERY lucky to have more than one electrical outlet so behind every stick of furniture and appliances are tangles of dusty, disgusting extension chords. I had to go through all that to find the TV plug, which eventually required me to move the TV, a big cabinet full of stuff, a table and the fridge. By the time I'd done all that a fuse had blown and everything on one side of my room was powerless including my fridge, cable TV box, Wii, computer, toaster, and microwave.

The top plug in the outlet was the only one with anything in it. And it had a series of extension chords that lead to all the things listed above. It was burnt out. I couldn't get any power from it. So just for kicks I tried plugging into the BOTTOM plug. It worked. I tell you, OINK!

So now I have a big TV on the floor in my room. I have no idea how to throw it away and I have a feeling I might have to pay for it if I do. I doubt I'll be able to fenagle a new one out of the college. At least not till re-contracting time. AND I can't watch Kia Tiger games any more. Although I may just become a Lotte Giant fan if things continue the way they're going with the Tigers.

I went to the game on Friday with a Kasia, Maria and another couple of friends. The game on Thursday was yet another frustrating effort for the Tigers. Or for the Tigers coaches to be exact. It was 10-10 in the 6th inning. It was 10-6 but my fave player Son Young Min gave up 2 runs then a couple other pitchers gave up two more all in the L.G. Twins half of the 6th inning. In the bottom of the 6th Kia's lead-off hitter got on. So OF COURSE, IN A 10-10 ballgame! In the 6th inning!!! Sacrifice bunt. God I hate that pussy baseball. And I'm positive the Kia players do too. Then the next Kia batter walked. The next guy got a hit, the next guy got a hit and Kia had three runs before the next two guys got out. There was a shot of Tiger coach Jo Beom Hyun in the dugout clapping about it like he had been the cause of it. The fact if he hadn't sacrificed they'd still have two guys on base with two out. But he'll never understand that.

So it's 13-10 and Yoon Seok Min comes out for the 9th. He's the best pitcher in Korean baseball being wasted as the closer for Kia. He proceeds to allow two runners on. Then the LG coach applies some Jo baseball and tries to bunt the two runners over. HELLO? You're down by 3 runs!!! Best pitcher in the league? So the bunt goes right to Yoon, the pitcher who fields it with loads of time to throw to third and get the lead runner, a double play or even a TRIPLE play. He double clutches then throws the ball two feet out of the reach of the third baseman. This is a pitcher who makes his living throwing the ball with pinpoint accuracy. I think he might have done it on purpose. Again I was kind of glad because I don't want Yoon Seok Min to do TOO well as the closer because then it would make a collossally stupid coaching move look good. Maybe that's Yoon's thinking too and I support it if it is. Again it's a conspiracy theory of mine and I don't think we will ever know.

BUT perhaps as punishment??? the next night, (when we went), there were only three regular starters on the field for the Tigers and the pitcher was a guy, (Lee Dae Jin), who hasn't been in the starting rotation since the opening week of the season and I don't think he'd pitched since then. Now okay, maybe Jo was resting guys because the Thursday game went into extra innings and it took 6 hours before the final 13-13, which is a loss for both clubs. One of the few things I hate about Korean baseball. But I don't know because the next night, the game I couldn't watch because my TV blew up, Jo throws out three guys who are even WORSE! The starter hasn't pitched all year. He went 2 innings with a 27 ERA. One of the guys who relieved him was a guy who Jo threw out there the previous week who got shelled for 3 runs in 1 1/3 for a 20 ERA and yesterday he pitched for a 15 ERA. Getting better!

Now I'm all for giving the new guys a chance but the way the Tigers are hitting these days they could field half decent pitchers and get wins. Jo isn't even doing that. He's managing to mess up the best thing his team has going for it: starting pitching. But the Tigers continue to win despite him. I just hate seeing a good team being managed into mediocrity. Still think Jo must go. Maybe today he'll choose one of the back-up catchers to pitch. I'll have to go to the game to find out...

Here's Kasia and Maria with Soju Man.





Here they are looking pretty bored, (cuz they WERE), in the 6th inning after Kia fell behind 7-2 and Jo kept the best players on the bench. They decided to leave and I don't know if I was mad or bored but I left with them. The final was 8-3. I've never left a game early until that one. I think I'll go today but I might leave early if this coaching nonsense continues.

Playing Games

One of my recent comments on facebook was how one of my classes gave me some really nice teachers day gifts and threw me a party. I said something like "sometimes this job is pretty good." That class wanted to play a game that day and I had a boring lesson prepared for them. We didn't do the lesson but we didn't really play a game either. Just chatted. Most of us chatting in Korean. They are my best class in every way. So I decided to make a game especially for them. Because there are fifty of them it was gonna be a real challenge to play a game. I've done little game-like exercises with them before and they have turned out okay. But to play an actual game that involves listening to instructions and following them - I don't know what possessed me to be so optimistic!

The construction of the game was a(n?) Herculean task! First I had to think of a game that related to what we were doing in class. I thought of the game Whozit that my family played when I was young. We had just finished talking about jobs in class and were concentrating on present tense questions. PERFECT! So I surfed the net for hours and hours choosing just the right pictures of people of varying race, age, and gender doing interesting jobs. Then I had to make the pictures the right size to not only fit on a game board but onto little cards too. Then I had to print out five copies of the board pics, (24 jobs in all so that's 120), and 120 job cards. I had to take them to the print shop down the street because my printer ran out of ink as I was doing it. There I also bought 5 boards, some lamination paper to stick on the boards and I got them to laminate all the cards. Four cards to a page so that's 30 pages of lamination. Plus I copied out some homework for this week. It all cost me about $30.00. I took everything home and measured, cut and pasted for a few hours and had a fairly decent board figured out. Then I tried to laminate the board and THIS



was the result. See all the wrinkles? But I thought I'd still be able to use it. So I started cutting out the cards. In order to try to make the cards cheat-proof, (cuz I play games A LOT and have never played one without somebody trying to cheat), I double up the paper. I put a piece of paper behind the paper with the pics on it. Not ingenius I know. So of course they separated when I cut them out. And because the lamination plastic is heated it shrinks causing the paper to bend. So the result is two bent pieces of paper. Here's a pic of the sheet of four and a pic of the curly cards you get when you cut them out.





So I figured I'd just RE-laminate them with the self-lamination paper I had bought. That sounds a lot easier than it is. This was the horrifying and demoralizing result:



SOooo, I chucked the whole works against the wall, cracked open a beer and sat down in front of the computer. I complained about the whole process on facebook and one of my friends, Sharon, was also online. She was very supportive. After cooling down a bit I decided I'm not the kind of guy to give up that easily. I'm too stupid. So I went down to the stationary store AGAIN and had the whole works of cards, (for the four remaining games), laminated AGAIN. It worked! So I came home and after a couple hours of cutting and pasting I had a better board design with all the questions they could ask incorporated into the board. Then it was time to laminate again. This time I did it on the floor instead of my bed. Aside from the few hairs it picked up it was a success! This is what the new board looked like:




Not too shabby! And the cards are okay too. So it was time to test it out. I had a class on Monday that was almost ready for the game. So I brought it and with three students played it. It was a huge success! They had no problem understanding what to do because I was playing with them and they just learned as we went along. I didn't TELL them, I SHOWED them.

Then I went home and it took me all night but I made the rest of the boards for my good class on Tuesday. My big class. The ones who were nice enough to throw me a teachers day party. This morning, (Tuesday), I went in with 4 games all ready to give them the game they wanted. I explained in English and the looks got blanker and blanker and I got sweatier and sweatier. You have to understand with a class of 50 you can't sit down and play with everyone. I had to try to explain. I wished I could SHOW them but I had to try to TELL them. The game is fairly simple. Every person gets a card. That is their character. Written on the card is every possible answer to every possible question and all possible questions are written on the gameboard. Each person asks one question to one person at a time. They take notes on the answers. After many questions if they think they know the identities of every other player they guess. You can only guess on your turn and if you don't guess all other players correctly, it's the next player's turn. When someone guesses everybody correctly they win.

When you try to explain something you are fighting all kinds of inherent problems in the Korean student.

First of all their listening skills, no matter WHAT the language, are abysmal. For English, even worse.
Secondly there are always a couple of "translators" in the class. They think they are helping but what they are doing is discouraging learning. 48 people tune out while the English explanation is giving them a chance to improve their listening skills and 2 people listen and try to translate as I'm explaining. Usually they translate wrong or the others HEAR wrong. What they don't realize is if they ALL listen to the explanation in English maybe NObody will understand it all but if they work together and combine what they each understood, they'll get the gist.
Thirdly for most Korean students, the gist is nowhere near enough for them to have the confidence to start playing. They feel, (wrongly), that they need to understand every nuance, every facet, every jot and tittle of the game before they can begin to play it.
Fourthly, while I am explaining there are always a lot of people talking, in Korean, thinking that they'll just get someone else to explain it to them in Korean.
Fifthly, Koreans ALWAYS want to learn English through Korean. They're trained that way. So there are going to be things that don't really translate well.
Sixthly, when they know it's a game they get eager to play and they don't finish listening. They assume they know what I'm gonna say, even the translators, and they start playing the wrong way.

For example, the first group I went to was all asking questions to one person. Then they were all guessing willy nilly trying to get the one person's identity. Then when someone got it right they asked questions to the next person. So I had to demonstrate. Another group was just sitting there. Some were talking on their phones some were sleeping so I went to them. I told the first person to ask a question. He said he couldn't cuz he didn't know how to play the game. "Just do it!" I said about 5 times. Finally he picks up the board and studies it for 10 minutes and says, "Are you a man?" All the other players say, "Yes, no, no, yes, no." I'm thinking, "WHAT THE F?" "NO," I exclaim, "One person, one question." Then the next person asks the same person a question. Then the next person then the next. All to the same person. Another group calls me over and says they don't understand. So I go over. One of them is looking through the cards that haven't been dealt out. SIGH! I take all the cards and deal out new ones. "Okay, now ask any question," I say. She looks at her card. She's the ballerina, "Are you the ballerina?" she asks. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!

Every group was having every problem you could think of. And some you can't. We spent about 80 minutes struggling with the game and not one of the four groups figured it out. It took 2 minutes for me to explain and start doing it in my Monday class. This is why we shouldn't EVER have classes of 50. It's counterproductive to any kind of education. It's okay for training but not education.

The thing is, in the game when a person guesses everybody is supposed to put a piece of paper with "YES" or "NO" written on it into a container so that the person who guesses is the only one who knows how many were right or wrong. But he/she doesn't know who. I DIDN'T EVEN DO THAT PART. I just let them give answers verbally because they were all having such a hard time figuring out the easy part of the game.

Try to explain this to my boss. All I can say is I can't do some things with such a big class. He just thinks I'm being lazy cuz I don't want to mark that many exams or correct that many homework assignments.

Anyway, some days my job IS pretty good. But then again some days it ISN'T!

*In case you don't know you can click on any picture to get the full sized image. For some of these you need to.

Hiking on Cinquo De Mayo

Okay the title might be a bit misleading. I DID go hiking but that wasn't the plan and this won't JUST be a post about that. It's ANOTHER Kia Tigers post too. Aww come on! If you were following the Tigers you might be having as much fun as I am too! I will essplain...

I only work Monday of this week because it's sports week here at Seokang University so I had planned to go to Seoul to watch my first Kia Tigers road game of the year. I called up the guy I was gonna go with but he didn't answer his phone. So instead I went hiking at Moodeung Mountain with David, Angie and Rebecca. It was a good day. I managed to get home at exactly 6:30 to watch the game on TV. I knew it was coming on a channel that I get. Unfortunately I forgot it was Children's Day here in Korea. So the game took place at 1:00 in the afternoon. There is no way I would have made it to Seoul by 1:00 to watch it live so I'm glad I didn't try to go. Also I had fun at the mountain. BUT, I sure would have loved to be at the game!!! There is ALL kinds of drama happening with the Tigers! "Bronx is Burning" ppppbbbtthhhhbbbbtttt! I got a REAL baseball drama here and now!

First the good news, two players I haven't seen in ages played today, both of whom I really like: Hong Sae Weon (a good hitter) and Lee Beom Seok the pitcher I figure was Kia's second best last year. He was starting today. He starts the game and he's not doing too bad but not too great either. In the 4th inning after getting two out he loads the bases with a few very close walks. So what do you do if you're the Kia coach? I leave a warmed up Lee in the game every time before I take any member of the Kia bullpen and put him in the game cold. But you be the coach. You REALLY REALLY NEEEEED one out. Who do you bring in? If you read my last entry you will know the obvious thing to do. KIM YOUNG SOO! With all of Jo Beom Hyun's games he's been playing with Kim Young Soo all we really know about him is he is AWESOME at getting one guy out! Who do you bring in if you are not a baseball guy and have a man crush on a really really bad pitcher? Son Young Min. Of course that's Kia Tiger coach Jo Beom Hyun I'm taking about and of course he calls for his beloved Son Young Min. Son faces 4 guys gives up two hits and a walk. ALL THREE of Lee's runners score blowing his E.R.A. way up and before Son's runners score he's taken out with his E.R.A. still at zero after giving up three runs. Then the next pitcher gets the outs Son couldn't, (because he's a team guy), and KEEPS Son's E.R.A. at zero. This is what Jo has done for Son for the past few years so as to make a bad pitcher seem like he's good by artificially raising his stats at the expense of the team.

But the Kia bats are hot. With the aid of two-run homers from Na Ji Wan and Hong Sae Weon they go into the 8th with a 6-5 lead. Here's where the drama begins! Out to the mound comes Yoon Seok Min, the greatest pitcher in Korean baseball who is being wasted on this team as it's closer. In the 8th Yoon is Yoon. He strikes out the side. Three batters, three strikeouts. Bam, Bam, Bam!

Then in the ninth inning a strange thing happens. Here is what I mean when I say I'm seeing signs of frustrated players. I saw Na Ji Wan bunt straight to the pitcher (ON PURPOSE) to get the double play because Jo stupidly told him to bunt in the 5th inning of a 4-3 game. I've seen other guys fake like they are trying to bunt when he stupidly makes these calls too. And today I think I saw Yoon Seok Min throwing beach balls in the 9th to make a statement. He had to do it after pitching like the champ he is in the 8th to make the statement clear. I think he was successful.

Kia lost 7-6 but I am very happy. I think the statement is to teams around the league and to Kia management, there needs to be a trade: Jo Beom Hyun and his pet Son Young Min for a jock strap and a box of baseballs. Any takers?

Anyway, I didn't go to that game or watch it on TV but I caught the highlights of it and I was doing the hand wash gesture and saying, "HOO HOO HAAA HAAAAAH!" as I watched. Jo's days have GOT to be numbered now! I kinda hope the team just keeps on losing like this. With the pitching staff they have 6 runs is MORE than enough for them to win when they are playing for a coach who the players like and who knows what he's doing. Sooner or later management will realize what's going on. Although it has been my experience in Korea that they'll get rid of a lot of players, (teachers), who aren't the problem before getting rid of the coach, (supervisor), who is. We shall see. You can be sure I'll keep you posted.

As for the hike, we went to a part of the mountain I'd never been to before. We were gonna go to a temple I forget the name Jeo Bool Sa or something like that by way of the temple named Yak Sa Sa. A nice hike on the southern side of Moodeung Mountain along a cool stream. We stopped at a picnic area and had some kimbap, hotdogs, fruit, veggies and Rice Tard! Ha ha ha ha. I'm not kidding. And we played a little catch with the mini football, which must have been tasty because I think Rebecca liked it the best. There were a LOT of stairs! And it was a really nice day so a good sweat was enjoyed by all. We ran out of bottled water but I was drinking the water we got from a tap at Yak Sa Sa. I put 500 weon into the charity box there so Buddha will protect me from any parasites. I hope.

Bus 51 comes right back to the intersection down the road from where I work. VERY convenient! I just might do that little hike again sometime.

The best thing about the hike was that there were absolutely NO mosquitoes! I'm sure they are soon to come but it sure makes for better hiking!









It was a bit windy at the biginning of the hike. This Charlie Brown umbrella was intact when we started out. Oh well. Who has fun without breaking something?

I hope my next post includes a link to an article about Kia's coach being shitcanned. Fingers crossed!

Jo Dont Know. Jo MUST GO!!!

Another Kia Tigers post. If are somebody who doesn't like baseball, stop reading now. I'm gonna get into some little things that are only interesting to us baseball fans.

Jo Beom Hyun, the coach of the Kia Tigers is not a baseball guy. He has always been a below average coach who makes a lot of questionable little calls. Now he's making some BIG mistakes and it's pretty obvious to me that he's alienating players and fans alike. He's gotta go. Kia still has most of the season left and they could easily recover from a bad start to the season under a new coach that the players like. Why do I think the players don't like him? Many reasons.

First I have to mention the braindead move he just made last week. There is no question that the Tigers' closer situation hasn't been very steady. I've blogged about Han Ki Joo before. He's one of the big salaries I said the Tigers should have dumped at the start of the season. He's young and he throws really hard. He used to throw so hard people couldn't hit him. Now he just throws so hard and so straight that he actually makes it easier for opposing batters to hit homeruns. And they do. I'm just guessing but I think maybe his celebrity has been too hard for him to handle at such an early age. He almost cost Korea the gold medal at the Olympics. He got labelled as a choker after really bad performances vs. the U.S., Taipei and Japan there. And he's continued to blow as many saves as he gets. So aparently Jo decided that rather than stop calling him into the game at all, he'll let Han blow the game in the 7th or 8th innings and replace him with someone else who could be the closer.

So you go down the list of pitchers on the team. Lopez who was a closer for the Toronto Blue Jays and got 14 saves in the majors. He's been used on Kia as a starting pitcher but Kia has a 6-man rotation, another really dumb idea that NEVER works. Yoon Suk Min, Yang Hyun Jong, Guttormson, Seo Jae Eung, Lopez, Kwag Jong Cheol or Lee Dae Jin. Both Kwag and Lee have looked very hittable although Kwag DID get one win, but either would be fine for just one inning. Cut the rotation down to 5 so that your best starting pitchers can pitch more often and use Kwag or Lee as a fireman. Since Han Ki Joo and Son Young Min will blow a lot of close games in the late innings there won't be as many opportunities for a closer to save a game so you don't want to waste a really good pitcher here. Or use Lopez and put Kwag or Lee in the #5 slot.

OR trade Han and get another pitcher who can go one inning without fucking the game up.

Here's a better idea: Kim Young Soo. This has been a guy that Jo has used strictly to make himself look like a coach. He has been brought in repeatedly in the late innings to face one or two batters. His record against those batters has been fantastic and every time he's pulled I am upset. Not just that he's pulled but for all the time wasted bringing out two new pitchers. Can't we just leave him in for THREE batters instead? He's been striking guys out and getting guys out with regularity. A good baseball guy would consider that. Jo is NOT a good baseball guy.

* See if you can figure just what the hell Jo is trying to do with this guy. Here's his record this year so far: Apr. 4- 1 batter 1 strikeout; Apr. 7- 1 batter, 1 walk; Apr. 8- 1 batter, 1 out; Apr. 9- 1 batter, 1 out; Apr. 15- 1 batter, 1 hit (and because Son Young Min followed him and gave up a walk and a hit the run scored and Kim took the loss); Apr. 18- 1 batter, 1 out; Apr. 21- 1 batter, 1 out; Apr. 22- 1 batter, 1 out; Apr. 23- 1 batter- 1 strikeout; Apr. 24- 2 batters, 2 outs, 1 strikeout; Apr. 28- 1 batter, 1 out; Apr. 30- 1 batter, 1 out; May 3- 1 batter, 1 strikeout. So overall he's made 13 appearances, faced 14 batters, got 12 outs, 1 walk, 1 hit, 4 strikouts, and one loss he didn't deserve. You figure that out and it's 4 2/3 innings of one-hit ball with 4 K's. ANOTHER pitcher Jo is wasting. And he's come off the mound more than once shaking his head. You can bet a lot of the players and fans like me who are noticing this are shaking heads too. It's like he's just playing around.

ORRR why not let your starters pitch? Jo is nothing if not predictable. It doesn't matter how well a starter is doing he'll be yanked after 7 innings. He could have a no-hitter going and a pitch count of 80 and Jo will pull him. The only guy who Jo has allowed to stay in the game for 9 innings is Kia's best pitcher, Yoon Suk Min. On April 11th he pitched 9 innings and had a 1-1 tie going till his defence cost him a win. Again!

So what did Jo do? None of the above. In fact one might believe that Jo is TRYING to LOSE when you wonder what the hell he could have possibly been thinking to choose Yoon Suk Min as the new closer. The only thing I can guess is that Jo remembered that shitty games Han pitched in the Olympics. Who came in to get the win for Korea when Han blew a lead vs. the U.S.? Yoon Suk Min. Then in a game vs Japan Yoon Suk Min was brought in as a reliever when Korea was behind 2-0 and pitched a few innings while Korea got 5 runs to make it 5-2. Even though Han Ki Joo came in and gave up a run in THAT game Yoon and Korea ended up winning 5-3. Or maybe he was thinking of the game vs. Chinese Taipei in which Korea was ahead 8-2 when Han Ki Joo came in. He inherited some runners from starting pitcher, Bong, and they all scored. Then Han gave up two of his own next inning. He left after pitching 2.1 innings and changing an 8-2 game to an 8-8 game. Luckily for Han Korea scored after he got yanked for Kwon in the 7th. Kwon got two outs then Yoon Suk Min came in to get the last 5 outs and the save. Han Ki Joo got the win. Yoon did some relief pitching in the recent World Baseball Classic too. He got holds vs. Venezuela and Japan. Maybe Jo thinks that Yoon wasn't brought to the Olympics and the W.B.C. as a reliever. Or maybe he's thinking of his first two years with the Tigers when he was used successfully as a reliever and a closer. But, hello? He's evolved into arguably the best Korean STARTING pitcher period! He got 2 wins in the Olympics and had a 2.34 E.R.A. He got two wins in the W.B.C. with an incredible 1.13 E.R.A. and 13 strikeouts in 16 innings. He's a proven starter. The best on the team. The only guy Jo trusts to pitch a complete game. A national hero. Now Jo has busted him back to his rookie days. The absolute WORST choice to be the closer especially on a team that doesn't figure to get many save opportunities. In essence Jo has just wasted the best pitcher on his team. A stupid move that NObody's happy about.

What else does he do to piss off fans and players? He is in love with the bunt and the walk. Hitters are constantly frustrated when they have to waste an at bat hoping for the pitcher to miss the strike zone and staring at pitches they could be bashing for hits. Or when the coach takes the bat out of their hands, (almost always unnecessarily), by telling them to sacrifice bunt. Kia walks more than any other team. It's not so much that the hitters are selective, I think it's because the coach is selective. He tells the hitters to "take" a lot. I could be wrong but I think I see a lot of Kia hitters taking. It really has produced a lot of walks. Kia probably leads the league in that stat. But they just never seem to hit the guys home. I can't remember the last time I saw a Kia Tiger swing at the first pitch. When I was a ball player I LOVED the first pitch because it was usually a strike. Pitchers like to work ahead in the count so they often start batters with a strike. I think a lot of Kia batters are being told to wait until the pitcher throws at least one strike. Again there's no way of knowing for sure but I can recognize signs of frustrated players and I'm seeing them on Kia.

Bunting. Probably once a game Jo calls a bunt when he shouldn't. I think the best example of how he screws things up this way would be April 21st. The score was 4-3 in the 5th inning. NOT a defensive, pitchers duel sort of game. There was no reason to expect the run scoring to stop. But in the 5th Kia's lead off hitter got on and out comes Na Ji Weon sacrifice bunting. The message Jo was sending to Na Ji Weon was that not only did he not believe Na Ji Weon could hit the ball, he didn't think he could hit a sac fly, ground ball, work a walk, or even bunt for a base hit. Just give up a good hitter early in the game. Also there are other things that could happen that result in better situations than you'd get with the bunt like a passed ball, wild pitch, batter hit by pitch, balk, error, walk, stolen base, botched pick-off attempt, or the HIT and RUN: another thing Jo don't know. He's eliminating all of these good things from happening. STUPID! Also he's sending a message to the OTHER hitters that he doesn't expect THEM to score any more runs in the next 5 innings, (2 at bats each at least), so he wants to manufacture one run now. Players know these little things and they DON'T like it when a coach does shit like this. So what happened? Na Ji Weon bunted right to the pitcher who threw to second to start the 1-4-3 double play. Then in the 7th inning with the score 4-3 Na Ji Weon comes up again with the leadoff guy aboard and no outs. A situation in which I might have forgiven Jo for calling the sac bunt but still was happy to see Na swinging away. What happened? 2-run home run, Kia takes the lead 5-4. Han Ki Joo managed to snatch defeat from the jaws of victory in THAT game too and the Tigers lost it but who knows what would have happened if Jo would just stop trying to LOOK like a coach and start letting his players play? A sacrifice bunt is something that should be used in emergencies only. It's WAY overused by Jo.

Another way he tries to tinker and make it APPEAR as though he knows what he's doing when he really doesn't is playing the infield and the outfield shallow and player positioning in general. He doesn't know when or how to do this. The best example would be opening day, which I have already written about in my Kia Tigers Season Opener post. May have cost Yoon a win. And if I'm not mistaken I think Lee Yong Gyu, the team MVP, was playing shallow when he shouldn't have been and had to run back to the wall to get a fly ball and jumped into it thereby breaking his ankle. Who knows how much of a difference HE would have made so far? A couple more things Jo Don't Know: It's a lot easier for fielders to run forward and catch a blooper over the infielder's heads than it is to run backwards and get a blooper over the outfielders' heads. Also the former when missed results in a single, the latter almost always a double or triple. You play the outfield in to guard against a single when a deep ball, even if caught, will score a run. Jo pulls the infield in A LOT aparently on a whim and it has cost the team.

And as mentioned before he NEVER calls the hit and run and this team is built for it. I am pretty sure Jo doesn't even RECOGNIZE the hit and run. Again April 21st against Doosan, probably his worst game, Jo proved this. Guttormson wasn't pitching a gem by any means but there was a situation early on when the Bears had a runner on first and one out and Guttormson induced a perfect double play ball. BUT the guy on first was running and by the time Lee Hyun Gon got the ball and tagged second base the Doosan player was already there - safe. AND Lee Hyun Gon was just thrown off enough by the sliding player that he threw the ball over the head of 6'5 Choi Hee Seop - batter on 2nd advances to 3rd, batter on 1st advances to 2nd. THAT'S what the hit and run can do! Suddenly play stops and the two assistant pitching coaches are walking out to the mound to check on Guttormson after he had just made the perfect pitch! It never entered the coaches head that it was just well-timed aggressive base running by the other team that caused all of that. Later in the game aggressive baserunning got Doosan the win. Other teams kill Kia with the hit and run but Jo don't know.

I think Doosan has a great team this year and will likely win it all. Barring any debilitating injuries. But Kia has a good shot at second if they get rid of Jo. I think so anyway. As it is they have really great starting pitching. Probably the best in the league from top to bottom. Early in the year they had Lee Beom Seok closing. That's almost as bad as Yoon closing. Lee was excellent last year. What they did with him I don't know. Probably in his wisdom Jo sent him to the minors. If Jo wasn't so in love with his crappy bull pen Kia would be where they should: in second place. With rookie An Chi Hong doing well and newcomer Kim Sang Hyun's clutch hitting it looks like Jo has made some good moves so his coaching days with Kia might be extended. Also Choi Hee Seop is playing a LOT better than last season. When Lee Yong Gyu comes back Kia will be a stacked team. They are probably going to start winning and making Jo look a whole lot better than he's been. Right now he's coaching the second best team in the league into 5th place. I think Kia will win in spite of and not because of Jo. And probably that'll keep him employed. But I still think they'd do better without him.

Round 2 of '09

I'm pretty stoked about the second round of the NHL playoffs starting. I'm surprised, but not saddened by the loss of two of my most hated teams, the Devils and the Sharks. Other than that the first round went as expected although the Rangers, (lead by Markus Naslund), gave the Capitals a harder time than expected. I think this next round is up for grabs. ANY team can win any series. I pick Vancouver, Anaheim, Boston and Pittsburgh but they could ALL be wrong.

Anaheim has a VERY hot goalie. I'd pick him if he were in ANY of my pools. I've been listening to the Anaheim games and Hiller's standing on his head. Getzlaf, Perry, S. Neidermayer and Pronger are all playing great. No surprise. But they've got a young guy and an old guy who might be the difference in this series, Bobby Ryan and Teemu Selanne respectively. I don't think Detroit has had enough Swedish saunas and massages to prepare them for the beating they'll take from Anaheim. They gave the Sharks nightmares. Thornton and Getzlaf even fought! And Detrpot's traditional big weakness will finally kill them. Osgood can really suck. I think he'll get scored on regularly. Anaheim in 6 is probably an upset.

Carolina doesn't get any respect. They have one of those teams that IS a team. Of course buddies Eric Staal and Ray Whitney are at the top of the scoring so far for the team in the playoffs. But tied with them is Chad LaRose? They have some players whose names a hockey fan might recognize, Cole, Samsonoff, Brind'Amour, but they have a pile of no-namers with more heart than talent. And in Cam Ward they have good goaltending. They beat the Devils and they could beat the Bruins too. But they won't. Boston is too strong and they have LOTS of names a hockey fan will recognize, Savard, Kessel, Krejci, Chara, Ryder, Recchi, Bergeron, Wheeler and Tim Thomas. Boston in 6.

I can't wait to see the Pittsburgh/Washington series. I hope they break a record for goals in a series. They've got the offensive guns to do it. But because it's the playoffs and everybody falls in love with defence at this time of year they both might start worrying more about the other team scoring on them than attacking, the scaredicat hockey that plagues the playoffs every year. I REALLY hope this doesn't happen because I wanna see, (or hear), guys like Ovechkin, Semin, Backstrom, Green, Fedorov, Malkin, Crosby, Gonchar, Guerin and the other guys on their teams go crazy scoring! And I think it might happen. I don't think the goaltending or the defence is strong enough to stop it. I give Pittsburgh an edge because Washington is tired. I hope it goes 7 games but I think Pittsburgh wins in 5.

Vancouver and Chicago. I was super happy the way the end of the season went so that Calgary had to deal with the Hawks in the first round instead of the Canucks. They were the team that scared me. Young and hungry. But that could be said about the Canucks too. Although Chicago has some of the strangest name spellings in the league, (What kind of way is that to spell Taves and Bufflin?!), they've got some exciting players. Versteeg, Havlat, Kane, Sharp, Toews, Campbell, Byfuglien, Barker, Seabrook. I think they are the deepest team in the playoffs. And if the Boulin wall goes up the Canucks are in trouble.

The Canucks have DEFENCE. And they want to make Roberto Luongo into Richard Brodeur. And that's not the only parallel between the '82 Canucks and this year's team that can be drawn. Gradin/Sundin, Sundstrom/Henrik, Tanti/Daniel, Smyl/Kesler, Hlinka/Demitra, Edler/Molin, Mitchell/McCarthy, Bubla/Ohlund, Burrows/Williams, I could go on. Now I know some of these guys were injured and some came in '83 but this year's team brings me back to those days. What got the Canucks to the finals was L.A. beating the Oilers, King Richard being phenomenal every night and defence. I hate defence! In fact the way they beat the Hawks is by shadowing Denis Savard with defensive forward Gerry Minor. Savard was so frustrated he spit at a ref! Savard was a great talent. I hate the strategy of shadowing offensive stars. It makes for a boring game. Any kind of defence does! I actually WANT the Hawks to beat my favourite team and gain a victory for offense over defence. But I doubt that's the way this series will be played. I think the Canucks are strong enough to force the Hawks into playing defence and if so they'll win a 7-game yawner. Lots of close game kind of intensity, but not lots of action.

The thing is the Canucks have some players that are very underappreciated. They COULD probably make this an offensive and fun series to watch. Guys like Wellwood, Raymond, Edler, Bernier, Kesler, Bieksa, Burrows, they can play offense! I think there are some guys waiting to bust out here, especially Wellwood. But with the coach they have, I doubt it will be allowed. I'll be happy for the winner and sad for the loser of this series. But I'd rather see the Canucks lose 6-5 every game than win 1-0. That's just me.

I sure am missing Hockey Night in Canada right about now!