The weather is cooling, deciduous trees are changing colour, my aircon is resting, Korean oldsters are making for the woods with long bamboo poles to knock down the high-up chestnuts, the doors on the dorm are fixed and I have figured out another riddle of Korea!
Sunday night I was coming back from the grocery store and I spotted the caretaker I yelled at Thursday night. I made my way over to him and appologized for my outburst. He waved it off and in English said,"It's okay. Power drinking!" We laughed. But I THEN said, "However, I need my doors fixed." He said,"Okay, tomorrow. " But I hadn't even finished putting my groceries away when there was a knock at my door and he was there with a new knob. He installed it and unbelievably it had the exact same problem! But while he was installing it I saw him twisting the part at the base of the knob. The ring that covers the hole has a thread to it. Now this guy is like 90 pounds soaking wet. So I gave the base of the knob another half turn and, violin! It works like a charm! Probly coulda kept the OLD knob on. So all this time it was just a lack of elbow grease or the proper tool. huh.
So the mystery I've solved is this: if I want these guys to help me, all I have to do is ask once nicely, wait for a while, yell at them, wait for a while, then apologize and ask a third time. Easy!
Sigh. I'm not gonna pretend my problems are over here. I've got confidence in myself. What I mean is I'm not one of these people who block out the negative or pretend it's not there. I can almost always tell when I'm lying to me. I believe the trick is to own the good AND the bad and have the confidence in yourself that you can figure out a way to deal with it. I think there's a reward for working through the bad that people who run from it never receive. But that's just me. I realize that some people don't like being around me while I'm working through the bad. I sometimes feel like a buzz kill. But I think it's worth it. At least people know I'm genuine. And genuine happy is a thousand times better than fake happy in my book. Besides if I were happy all the time it just wouldn't be as nice to see me happy.
Today I did a lesson in one of my classes in which each student is given a piece of paper and has to draw 3 or 4 pieces of "cave art" relating to their lives. I explain cavemen and cave art. I do myself as an example drawing a "cave" teacher, a cave helicopter a cave plane and a cave hockey player. I explain that I work as a teacher, I once flew a helicopter, I enjoy travel and my favourite sport is hockey. I write on the board things they can make their cave art about such as jobs, hobbies, family, dreams, past experiences etc. I write about 10 sentences they can ask OTHER students about THEIR cave art. I tell them that if they can't think of anything LIE. Draw a cave crocodile and say you were bitten by a crock in Australia. It's okay to lie. I'm supposed to allow 5 minutes but I give them 10 minutes to draw some stuff.
I walk around the room. I see three people who have drawn a cave teacher, a cave plane, a cave helicopter, and a cave hockey player. So I have to explain again individually to them. I see 4 people who have drawn one big picture in very NON-cave style. I explain why they can't do that. I see probably a dozen people who are labeling all their pictures, some in Korean. I give them new pieces of paper. 4 students stroll in at the 8-minute point so I give them papers and another students has to explain the exercise to them. I tell them to explain in English but they use Korean. I check on the new students and one of them evidently had it explained wrong in Korean.
After 25 minutes it looks as though we have most of the students doing the exercise correctly so I give them all a number between 1 and 3 and tell them to remember their number. I tell them that ones make a circle on the left side of the room, twos in the center and threes on the right. Nobody moves. I explain it again with exaggerated gesticulation. A few people move and there is a lot of Korean explanation going on. Whether it's correct or not I don't know. People who I know were ones are sitting with the threes; friends who were right beside each other are STILL beside each other; the threes only have 4 in their group while the twos have 10. So I just randomly tell people to go to group three. Then I get the thousand mile stare. I break out Charade Dave. You- point, go- walk, here- point. Still nothing registers. One of the students begins explaining in Korean. I tell him to stop. This is a huge waste of time if they can't understand this in English. FINALLY everybody is in groups with their cave art ready to go. So I say, "Okay, start." Not a word of English ensues even though I've got every sentence they might need written on the board for them. But there's only a few minutes left in the class anyway so I just let them laugh at each others pictures.
Hey, at least nobody was sleeping! This was a successful class for me! See? I could say stuff like that but I'm pretty sure I'm lying to me. I prefer to think of the fact that these disasters make really fun stories. And really, my job IS sweet! After a few months of this sort of quasi-education I'll be wandering the ruins of Ankhor Wat or golfing the Monkey Course in Pattaya or slurping pho in Halong Bay and thinking, "It's worth it." To me that's both how I work through the bad AND its reward.
Tuesday, September 30, 2008
Sunday, September 28, 2008
Problems at the dorm
When I got this job at Seogang College I was offered a room in the dorm. I had stayed in the dorms here for a year the last time I worked here, (a few years ago), and hadn't liked it so much. There are many disadvantages like hot water only at 7 AM and 7 PM; noisy students; students locked out after curfew knocking on my window and asking me to let them in; stinky drains; really slow internet shared with the students; pretty small room where I can't really entertain guests and so on. There are a few advantages like the picnic tables outside where I can barbecue; the trails behind the school where I can exercise; the fact that I'm 5 minutes from class, (but that can be a disadvantage too when they want you to teach a new class A.S.A.P.); free internet, electricity, gas and cable; living on the first floor where I like it and so on. Here's me grillin' some steak during Chuseok with Alex patiently waiting. Got my greyhound close at hand. (That's vodka and grapefruit juice). It was well into Chuseok I think so the drinking belly was FULL ON!
But to me the negatives outweigh the positives so I wanted to look around for apartments before getting here. I did a little bit but it was just impossible for me to get a place without the help of a Korean. I had planned on a week between jobs in Mokpo and Gwangju. During that week I was hoping to find an off campus apartment with the help of someone from the school and move into it. That didn't happen. I had to pick up and move at the last minute so I was forced to stay in the dorms. I was trying to be positive about it thinking about the money I was saving myself, pimping my room with a new fridge and dresser but that positivity is now gone.
I was out watching football with friends at Mike & Dave's last Thursday and when I got home around 5 AM I had to use the back door to the dorms cuz they lock the kids in at midnight. The lock on the back door didn't work. That's twice I've been locked out like that. I tried and tried for about 5 minutes making all kinds of noise but it wasn't gonna open. So I was just angry enough, (and just drunk enough), that I started kicking the steel doors. I booted them a few times and was actually making progress when one of the "caretakers", (who don't take care of anything), came out in his PJ's and let me in the front doors. We went to the back door and it was bent in a V and he asked me what I was gonna do about that. So I kicked it once and it went back into place. Now for SURE they would have to fix the locks, you would think!
After that I told the guy to come with me. He started to go back to bed. I yelled really loudly for him to come with me and so he did. I showed him how my lock on my room door was broken too. When you close the door without locking it sometimes the little plunger that moves in and out when you turn the knob doesn't move in and out. It just stays in the hole effectively locking you out of the room. The only way to open it is to use the key. If you don't have the key on you you're screwed. I often leave my room without locking the door and sometimes without my key to do laundry, get water, pay a pizza deliveryman or something like that. Twice already I've been locked out of my room like that. I had shown the one "caretaker" my door and told him to open it. This was two weeks ago. He tried for a few minutes, turned his head and sucked air in through his teeth a few times and couldn't. I told him it wasn't locked, it was just broken. I said I needed it fixed and he said okay. Now they've been asked nicely once and told not-so-nicely once. For sure the doors will be fixed, you would think!
It's been three days since the latest lock-out and still neither door has been looked at. I tried my key in the back door, (which is now badly bowed so it doesn't seal at the top or bottom), and the lock seemed okay. However it has always been hit and miss. I have a feeling it hasn't been looked at. I know nobody's been to see about MY door.
These are not the only problems I've been having but they are the most dramatic. One time a guest of mine, Minju, shut the door behind her and the knob malfunctioned. I'm not sure but I think maybe Justin was in the room sleeping at the time. He absolutely COULD have been!
If we didn't have the keys outside the room I would have been breaking windows. This is a pic of Min Ju and Justin. A bit blurry though.
One Friday night I was out with friends and I came home and opened the door without any trouble. But when I got to my room I noticed my computer was dead. The monitor was okay and the speakers had power but I pushed the buttons to turn on my computer and nothing happened. I assumed there was a power surge and it burnt my power source. I waited all weekend then on Monday I informed the "caretaker" about the problem and asked if he could look up a computer tech. and ask him to come to my room and fix my computer. He understood, said, "Okay, today or tomorrow." That was fine. I thanked him. FOUR days later I got another Korean friend to do it for me cuz the "caretaker" didn't care. Sure enough the power source was blown. It cost me about 50 bucks to replace.
Not even a week later I came home and flashed up the computer. Within a few minutes the screen turned red and I was getting endless virus warnings. The computer was an expensive paperweight for the second time in a week. I didn't bother asking the Idon'tcaretaker for help. I had to take the entire thing to Keumho World and get everything re-installed. Again it cost me money, time and now I have some small problems on my computer I didn't have before because of the software the techy installed.
And when I got here the "caretaker" FORGOT to give me my key to the back doors. After the sam gyup sal meal pictured in the previous post entitled "My first weekend back in Gwangju" I was locked out of the dorms and had to wait a really long time on the picnic table outside in the heat getting massacred by mosquitoes before I was let in. After that he STILL didn't give me a key. I had to ask the other guy for it. He went to a desk in the office where there was a key just waiting for me.
What is going on here? Why the neglect? It goes back to three years ago when I worked here. The Idon'tcaretaker started our relationship off by walking into my room without knocking. I was sleeping and just sat up in my bed and looked at him. He left. The guy did it a couple more times and I told him nicely not to do it. He laughed. Then he came in with some students one time presumeably to show them what the dorm rooms looked like. I told him to get the hell out. He started pointing to a paper and trying to explain and walk by me but I blocked him and told him in a much louder voice to get the hell out. I was in my gotch but they were all males so it wasn't that bad. But still bad. Again he was amused at my reaction. Then finally one day he brought two ladies into my room, (and by then I was locking my door so he had to use his key). They were cleaning the ceiling fans. This time I think I was in the shower. I went up one side of him and down the other and THIS time he wasn't laughing because I think he knew that if he did he would have been pounded into the ground like a tent peg. I emasculated him in front of the ladies. At first the ladies were mildly amused at the bashful foreigner but NONE of them were smiling when I kicked them out and slammed the door. He did absolutely nothing for me after that. But three years is a long enough time to let old wounds heal, you would think!
Evidently not. Of course there's no way to prove it but I think the guy isn't just forgetful or apathetic towards my needs, I think there is still some malicious intent. Because I didn't let him into my room whenever he wanted in. It brings up lots of questions. Does he just walk into the boys' rooms whenever the hell he wants? Wouldn't surprise me at all. And the obvious question: WHY does he do this? Who does he think he is?
If he doesn't walk in on the boys, then why was he walking in on ME? Was it the curiosity that all Korean guys have about foreigners and their big shlongs? I don't go to gyms any more because of this curiosity. It gives me the creeps when other guys time their workouts to end at the same time as mine so we can shower together. I don't know how many times I've had Korean guys feeling me up in the gym either. Not always in the sexual areas but feeling my shoulders or arms or whatever while I'm working out. I don't like that. ANOTHER thing that keeps me fat in Korea!
Anyway, if I don't get in too much trouble for the door kicking incident, I'll be requesting an off campus apartment again. I really don't know why they've got me here. They can put two or three or even four students in my room and with HALF the money for that they could get me a two bedroom apartment off campus. I've looked at some that are pretty decent and they're only 400 bucks a month. Then I could get my own internet and watch live streaming vids that aren't jerky, download at good speed, get my own cable TV with all the sports channels, pay my own gas and electric and shower any time I want AND AND AND I could get a couch, some chairs and actually have parties at my place! Man that would be sweet! The school should go for it since they'd actually MAKE money by doing it and they wouldn't have to worry about doors being kicked in any more. They should go for it. YOU WOULD THINK!
But to me the negatives outweigh the positives so I wanted to look around for apartments before getting here. I did a little bit but it was just impossible for me to get a place without the help of a Korean. I had planned on a week between jobs in Mokpo and Gwangju. During that week I was hoping to find an off campus apartment with the help of someone from the school and move into it. That didn't happen. I had to pick up and move at the last minute so I was forced to stay in the dorms. I was trying to be positive about it thinking about the money I was saving myself, pimping my room with a new fridge and dresser but that positivity is now gone.I was out watching football with friends at Mike & Dave's last Thursday and when I got home around 5 AM I had to use the back door to the dorms cuz they lock the kids in at midnight. The lock on the back door didn't work. That's twice I've been locked out like that. I tried and tried for about 5 minutes making all kinds of noise but it wasn't gonna open. So I was just angry enough, (and just drunk enough), that I started kicking the steel doors. I booted them a few times and was actually making progress when one of the "caretakers", (who don't take care of anything), came out in his PJ's and let me in the front doors. We went to the back door and it was bent in a V and he asked me what I was gonna do about that. So I kicked it once and it went back into place. Now for SURE they would have to fix the locks, you would think!
After that I told the guy to come with me. He started to go back to bed. I yelled really loudly for him to come with me and so he did. I showed him how my lock on my room door was broken too. When you close the door without locking it sometimes the little plunger that moves in and out when you turn the knob doesn't move in and out. It just stays in the hole effectively locking you out of the room. The only way to open it is to use the key. If you don't have the key on you you're screwed. I often leave my room without locking the door and sometimes without my key to do laundry, get water, pay a pizza deliveryman or something like that. Twice already I've been locked out of my room like that. I had shown the one "caretaker" my door and told him to open it. This was two weeks ago. He tried for a few minutes, turned his head and sucked air in through his teeth a few times and couldn't. I told him it wasn't locked, it was just broken. I said I needed it fixed and he said okay. Now they've been asked nicely once and told not-so-nicely once. For sure the doors will be fixed, you would think!
It's been three days since the latest lock-out and still neither door has been looked at. I tried my key in the back door, (which is now badly bowed so it doesn't seal at the top or bottom), and the lock seemed okay. However it has always been hit and miss. I have a feeling it hasn't been looked at. I know nobody's been to see about MY door.
These are not the only problems I've been having but they are the most dramatic. One time a guest of mine, Minju, shut the door behind her and the knob malfunctioned. I'm not sure but I think maybe Justin was in the room sleeping at the time. He absolutely COULD have been!
If we didn't have the keys outside the room I would have been breaking windows. This is a pic of Min Ju and Justin. A bit blurry though.One Friday night I was out with friends and I came home and opened the door without any trouble. But when I got to my room I noticed my computer was dead. The monitor was okay and the speakers had power but I pushed the buttons to turn on my computer and nothing happened. I assumed there was a power surge and it burnt my power source. I waited all weekend then on Monday I informed the "caretaker" about the problem and asked if he could look up a computer tech. and ask him to come to my room and fix my computer. He understood, said, "Okay, today or tomorrow." That was fine. I thanked him. FOUR days later I got another Korean friend to do it for me cuz the "caretaker" didn't care. Sure enough the power source was blown. It cost me about 50 bucks to replace.
Not even a week later I came home and flashed up the computer. Within a few minutes the screen turned red and I was getting endless virus warnings. The computer was an expensive paperweight for the second time in a week. I didn't bother asking the Idon'tcaretaker for help. I had to take the entire thing to Keumho World and get everything re-installed. Again it cost me money, time and now I have some small problems on my computer I didn't have before because of the software the techy installed.
And when I got here the "caretaker" FORGOT to give me my key to the back doors. After the sam gyup sal meal pictured in the previous post entitled "My first weekend back in Gwangju" I was locked out of the dorms and had to wait a really long time on the picnic table outside in the heat getting massacred by mosquitoes before I was let in. After that he STILL didn't give me a key. I had to ask the other guy for it. He went to a desk in the office where there was a key just waiting for me.
What is going on here? Why the neglect? It goes back to three years ago when I worked here. The Idon'tcaretaker started our relationship off by walking into my room without knocking. I was sleeping and just sat up in my bed and looked at him. He left. The guy did it a couple more times and I told him nicely not to do it. He laughed. Then he came in with some students one time presumeably to show them what the dorm rooms looked like. I told him to get the hell out. He started pointing to a paper and trying to explain and walk by me but I blocked him and told him in a much louder voice to get the hell out. I was in my gotch but they were all males so it wasn't that bad. But still bad. Again he was amused at my reaction. Then finally one day he brought two ladies into my room, (and by then I was locking my door so he had to use his key). They were cleaning the ceiling fans. This time I think I was in the shower. I went up one side of him and down the other and THIS time he wasn't laughing because I think he knew that if he did he would have been pounded into the ground like a tent peg. I emasculated him in front of the ladies. At first the ladies were mildly amused at the bashful foreigner but NONE of them were smiling when I kicked them out and slammed the door. He did absolutely nothing for me after that. But three years is a long enough time to let old wounds heal, you would think!
Evidently not. Of course there's no way to prove it but I think the guy isn't just forgetful or apathetic towards my needs, I think there is still some malicious intent. Because I didn't let him into my room whenever he wanted in. It brings up lots of questions. Does he just walk into the boys' rooms whenever the hell he wants? Wouldn't surprise me at all. And the obvious question: WHY does he do this? Who does he think he is?
If he doesn't walk in on the boys, then why was he walking in on ME? Was it the curiosity that all Korean guys have about foreigners and their big shlongs? I don't go to gyms any more because of this curiosity. It gives me the creeps when other guys time their workouts to end at the same time as mine so we can shower together. I don't know how many times I've had Korean guys feeling me up in the gym either. Not always in the sexual areas but feeling my shoulders or arms or whatever while I'm working out. I don't like that. ANOTHER thing that keeps me fat in Korea!
Anyway, if I don't get in too much trouble for the door kicking incident, I'll be requesting an off campus apartment again. I really don't know why they've got me here. They can put two or three or even four students in my room and with HALF the money for that they could get me a two bedroom apartment off campus. I've looked at some that are pretty decent and they're only 400 bucks a month. Then I could get my own internet and watch live streaming vids that aren't jerky, download at good speed, get my own cable TV with all the sports channels, pay my own gas and electric and shower any time I want AND AND AND I could get a couch, some chairs and actually have parties at my place! Man that would be sweet! The school should go for it since they'd actually MAKE money by doing it and they wouldn't have to worry about doors being kicked in any more. They should go for it. YOU WOULD THINK!
Friday, September 26, 2008
Wow! So far not so good.
Great start for Survivor. Boy was I wrong on some of my calls! But some could still be right.
Ace - Lied about his job. Paloma doesn't like him and Marcus and Charlie think he's digging his own grave by talking too much. But after the very beginning of the show Ace disappeared. Probly see more of his grave digging next week.
Bob - People are liking him. He was building a bench before Koda had a chance to eat but that was just to show everybody his usefulness. And he has been useful.
Charlie - His relationship with Marcus is gonna be fun to watch. I'm not so sure he has no shot either. I called a bi-curious relationship but not between these guys. He also lied about his job. Probly smart. He already reminds me of Todd the flight attendant by how he's playing the game so far. And Todd won.
Corrinne - Surprisingly picked last and picked by Jaque. I think that's why she likes Jaque so far but I still don't think they'll get along. I wonder how long it'll take her to see she's an extra passenger in the Charlie/Marcus alliance and vote one of them out.
Crystal - The track star looked more like a preschool teacher in the foot race. What did she come in second to last? Unreal! Haven't seen her power yet. Gillian picked her first and she was maybe the keenest on voting Gillian out. Just as I thought she doesn't seem to be there to make friends. Seems to think Dan's pretty smart but is cautious of him for it.
Dan - Very interesting so far! The lawyer who doesn't lie! I'll remember he said that. Said he's finding himself during introductions. It might take him a LONG time to find himself if trying to find the idol on Exile Island is any indication. "Cross the lake is a sandy crater" - "Okay," says Dan, "it must be in the lake." He looked for 5 or 6 hours? Did he EVER cross the lake? Doesn't like GC for quitting the leadership role. Wants to be a silent leader. Maybe a blind leader...
GC - Hasn't this guy seen Survivor before? Why would anyone accept the leadership role? Dan and Randy weren't impressed with him. He was the fastest up the hill and right now his tribe needs athletes so he's pretty safe. But he wasn't diggin the diggin. Quit at the challenge, quit the leadership role, he might be a marked man once the dead weight is gone.
Gillian - Could I have been more wrong!?! Even Probst told her to put the cheering into the deep freeze. She thought it was AWESOME the way her tribe kept losing because of her! I didn't think she'd drag them down but she sure did. But in a very positive way. Two mistakes she made: She didn't do anything for Randy's knock on the noggin to show her medical usefulness; and Mrs. Positivity sure didn't sound so cheerful talking about "gum flapping" and blah blah blahing while she's trying to sleep. But I think she was a goner anyway. So I guess she's not gonna be the oldest winner ever.
Jaque - When Kelly picked her I saw visions of the first survivors sent home for blonde on blonde action. But Jaque seems to like Corrinne better than Kelly. Haven't seen much of Jaque yet. Maybe she's just trying to blend. Hasn't yet started her "accidental flirting."
Sugar - She's just cute! Ace picked her to remind everyone he's a photographer. That's the only impact she's had so far. But my favourite scene from episode one was her giggling at the flopping fish.
Kelly - I wonder if Kelly will be invited into the Marcus/Charlie alliance. She's not yet "snoozing" anyone but the only candidates would be Ace, (who chose Sugar and might like her), and Marcus, (who just might plum the depths of his sexuality with Chucky). So maybe she WILL flirt with Jaque. I'm not giving up on THAT call yet.
Ken - Has already impressed his friends by getting a boob flash during the snack he had with Michelle. I think he might have even got some action there if she stuck around. Man that's gotta suck for him! He's doing okay so far but IS viewed as one of the weaker guys on his team. But there WERE a few ahead of him in that area. Now he's gotta be getting nervous.
Marcus - He's 28, a doctor, hot, why IS this guy still a bachelor? Charlie can't figure out why there aren't a million girls jumping all over him. I hope Sugar hits on him. That'd be interesting. Even though Marcus says he doesn't roll THAT way, maybe old Charlie ain't barking up the wrong tree here. This could be REALLY fun!
Matty - So far no disappointment here. He was one of the guys taking breaks during the digging but he's a partier, not a worker.
Michelle - Well she won't get sprayed by any hippo diarrhea. Her bigger problem was VERBAL diarrhea. I don't blame her for calling her team out for slacking during the challenge but maybe a little more tactfully? She was too skinny anyway and I didn't want to see her lose more weight. When the geniuses on her team were trying to start a fire by getting spark off the skull I thought they could probably do better whacking Michelle with the machete. Those same geniuses who were losing physical challenges voted their most athletic girl off first. Dummies. They got it right the second time though.
Paloma - She doesn't like Ace and was laughing at his yoga instruction. I liked that part. She's pretty cute but I don't know if she's got the smarts to win. Too early to tell.
Randy - Yup, liking this guy already. His strategy of letting the other people crash and burn will probably work. I was really impressed when he made the fish hook. That'll score him points with his team too. But being chosen with Gillian and Susie to make the puzzle in the challenge wasn't a vote of confidence from his team. Guess they don't know about his 100 triathlons. He and Crystal really don't like Gillian or anybody really. Maybe that'll draw them together.
Susie - Gotta be the next to go if Fong loses another physical challenge.
Maybe "Koda" means "boobs and butts" and "Fong" means "gumption and guts". I wasn't expecting the teams to be so uneven. But I think once Susie goes Fong will win some challenges. Who will go first from Koda? Ace? Kelly? Paloma? Sugar? I'm still guessing Ace.
Should be fun.
Ace - Lied about his job. Paloma doesn't like him and Marcus and Charlie think he's digging his own grave by talking too much. But after the very beginning of the show Ace disappeared. Probly see more of his grave digging next week.
Bob - People are liking him. He was building a bench before Koda had a chance to eat but that was just to show everybody his usefulness. And he has been useful.
Charlie - His relationship with Marcus is gonna be fun to watch. I'm not so sure he has no shot either. I called a bi-curious relationship but not between these guys. He also lied about his job. Probly smart. He already reminds me of Todd the flight attendant by how he's playing the game so far. And Todd won.
Corrinne - Surprisingly picked last and picked by Jaque. I think that's why she likes Jaque so far but I still don't think they'll get along. I wonder how long it'll take her to see she's an extra passenger in the Charlie/Marcus alliance and vote one of them out.
Crystal - The track star looked more like a preschool teacher in the foot race. What did she come in second to last? Unreal! Haven't seen her power yet. Gillian picked her first and she was maybe the keenest on voting Gillian out. Just as I thought she doesn't seem to be there to make friends. Seems to think Dan's pretty smart but is cautious of him for it.
Dan - Very interesting so far! The lawyer who doesn't lie! I'll remember he said that. Said he's finding himself during introductions. It might take him a LONG time to find himself if trying to find the idol on Exile Island is any indication. "Cross the lake is a sandy crater" - "Okay," says Dan, "it must be in the lake." He looked for 5 or 6 hours? Did he EVER cross the lake? Doesn't like GC for quitting the leadership role. Wants to be a silent leader. Maybe a blind leader...
GC - Hasn't this guy seen Survivor before? Why would anyone accept the leadership role? Dan and Randy weren't impressed with him. He was the fastest up the hill and right now his tribe needs athletes so he's pretty safe. But he wasn't diggin the diggin. Quit at the challenge, quit the leadership role, he might be a marked man once the dead weight is gone.
Gillian - Could I have been more wrong!?! Even Probst told her to put the cheering into the deep freeze. She thought it was AWESOME the way her tribe kept losing because of her! I didn't think she'd drag them down but she sure did. But in a very positive way. Two mistakes she made: She didn't do anything for Randy's knock on the noggin to show her medical usefulness; and Mrs. Positivity sure didn't sound so cheerful talking about "gum flapping" and blah blah blahing while she's trying to sleep. But I think she was a goner anyway. So I guess she's not gonna be the oldest winner ever.
Jaque - When Kelly picked her I saw visions of the first survivors sent home for blonde on blonde action. But Jaque seems to like Corrinne better than Kelly. Haven't seen much of Jaque yet. Maybe she's just trying to blend. Hasn't yet started her "accidental flirting."
Sugar - She's just cute! Ace picked her to remind everyone he's a photographer. That's the only impact she's had so far. But my favourite scene from episode one was her giggling at the flopping fish.
Kelly - I wonder if Kelly will be invited into the Marcus/Charlie alliance. She's not yet "snoozing" anyone but the only candidates would be Ace, (who chose Sugar and might like her), and Marcus, (who just might plum the depths of his sexuality with Chucky). So maybe she WILL flirt with Jaque. I'm not giving up on THAT call yet.
Ken - Has already impressed his friends by getting a boob flash during the snack he had with Michelle. I think he might have even got some action there if she stuck around. Man that's gotta suck for him! He's doing okay so far but IS viewed as one of the weaker guys on his team. But there WERE a few ahead of him in that area. Now he's gotta be getting nervous.
Marcus - He's 28, a doctor, hot, why IS this guy still a bachelor? Charlie can't figure out why there aren't a million girls jumping all over him. I hope Sugar hits on him. That'd be interesting. Even though Marcus says he doesn't roll THAT way, maybe old Charlie ain't barking up the wrong tree here. This could be REALLY fun!
Matty - So far no disappointment here. He was one of the guys taking breaks during the digging but he's a partier, not a worker.
Michelle - Well she won't get sprayed by any hippo diarrhea. Her bigger problem was VERBAL diarrhea. I don't blame her for calling her team out for slacking during the challenge but maybe a little more tactfully? She was too skinny anyway and I didn't want to see her lose more weight. When the geniuses on her team were trying to start a fire by getting spark off the skull I thought they could probably do better whacking Michelle with the machete. Those same geniuses who were losing physical challenges voted their most athletic girl off first. Dummies. They got it right the second time though.
Paloma - She doesn't like Ace and was laughing at his yoga instruction. I liked that part. She's pretty cute but I don't know if she's got the smarts to win. Too early to tell.
Randy - Yup, liking this guy already. His strategy of letting the other people crash and burn will probably work. I was really impressed when he made the fish hook. That'll score him points with his team too. But being chosen with Gillian and Susie to make the puzzle in the challenge wasn't a vote of confidence from his team. Guess they don't know about his 100 triathlons. He and Crystal really don't like Gillian or anybody really. Maybe that'll draw them together.
Susie - Gotta be the next to go if Fong loses another physical challenge.
Maybe "Koda" means "boobs and butts" and "Fong" means "gumption and guts". I wasn't expecting the teams to be so uneven. But I think once Susie goes Fong will win some challenges. Who will go first from Koda? Ace? Kelly? Paloma? Sugar? I'm still guessing Ace.
Should be fun.
Wednesday, September 24, 2008
Survivor Gabon
As mentioned in the last post, I'm a huge fan of Survivor. I don't consider it a true "reality" show. In the same sense that Shakespeare called all the world a stage, I think most of the players are just actors playing the roles we play in everyday life. However, I take a kind of peeping Tom pleasure in watching what usually turn out to be real feelings and interactions taking place between survivors and the concept of how a huge chunk of money makes them forget they are playing a game. It's something like the fiendish enjoyment I get out of watching people threatening each other online. I'm not even above fanning the flames a little bit when two idiots start threatening violence against each other from the safety of their comfy computer chairs like anyone is the least bit impressed by their courage. "You're not gonna let him call you that are you?" "Yeah, and furthermore you spelled "decapitate" wrong!" I sometimes even divert their pointless overemo by typing something like, "Why don't you two get a room?" Yeah, I know. Social life is a bit limited for me. But it's kinda fun sometimes.
If we're playing Monopoly and I put a hotel on Boardwalk, you land on it and it breaks you, it doesn't mean I would send you to the poorhouse in real life. If we're playing Chess and I kill your Queen it doesn't make me a murderer in real life. But in every season of Survivor the players, (except for the infamous Johnny Fairplay), always make these alliances and trust people only to have teary-eyed, namecalling fests at the end where they accuse liars and cheaters in a game where lying and cheating are not only "fair play", they are actually good strategy. Since the motto is "Outplay, Outlast, OutWIT" you might even say dishonesty is encouraged!
Because of these alliances, the athletic contestants usually don't fare too well unless they are lucky enough to be in an alliance of their own. The people who work hardest around camp and win all the challenges are usually voted out because they are perceived as a "threat." Just once I'd like to see the most deserving player win Survivor. But it usually doesn't work that way. However, it's a VERY interesting psychological experiment every season to see all the contestants fabricating reasons to vote people off when in the end the real reason every survivor loser gets voted off is not because the others don't want them around, it's because the others don't want to go home. THAT'S another thing I'd really like to see: "Sorry, dude, I just wanted the million bucks more than I cared about whether you stuck around any longer or not." Or I'd really like to see somebody say something like, "Look, only one person can get the million bucks so if the alliance has more than two people, its whole purpose is to eventually screw everyone else." But I think that might take the fun out of the game.
It isn't the people who lie or look in other people's backpacks or steal shoes or whatever who are the Machiavellian schemers, it's the alliance formers. I seem to remember that Rob and Amber were a good example. Amber ended up beating out Rob for the mil. but I think they were intent on being the final two from the get-go and anyone else foolish enough to join their alliance, effectively escorting Rob and Amber to the million bucks deserved to be voted out. It worked. We'll see if we have any two-person alliances this season. I think there are some pretty good prospects for that.
I did this once before on the blog and was pretty accurate about the game playing characters of the participants but was totally wrong about the eventual outcome. Let's see if I can't do better this time, shall we?
Ace - He's a salesman. A former CAR salesman. I once worked at a car lot and every one of the guys there would turn back the mileage on a car they sold their own MOTHER! A perfect candidate to enter into a crafty alliance like the one described above. Unfortunately for him, nobody's gonna trust him. He figures everyone will see him as the arrogant, stuck-up Brit for the simple reason that that's what he is. I'll be interested to see if he just rolls with this and is a conniving scumbag from the beginning. If so I just might vote for him. hee hee hee.
Bob - Physics teacher. Gotta side with the fellow teacher. And he's old, an outdoorsman, a builder and most intriguingly, head of his local teacher's union. If the teacher unions in the States are anything like the unions in Canada, this guy's gonna be tough! However, I happen to know that teaching is not the awesome job in the U.S. that it is in Canada. He says a couple things about himself that make me think he might be kept around till the building's done then turfed: "I'm wicked smart!" and "I'm the oldest one out here." The fact that the second statement is wrong probably shows the first one to be wrong too.
Charlie - Gaydar goes beep beep beep! A lawyer and from what I get on first impression, the token gay guy. Ivy league marathon running LAWYER. I instantly dislike this guy. If the number of lawyers on Survivor is representative of the per capita occupations in America I can see bad things in their future. However, he says he will try to ally, take risks, and not be the best. He wants to win like the last gay guy won, (Todd). Good strategy I'd say.
Corrinne - Has to be one of my early favourites. She's a drug dealer, (pharmaceuticals), and a self-described bitch. Says it's idiotic when reality show people find romance and doubts it'll happen without alcohol or tooth brushes. Said she's only in it for the money. She will say what the others only think. It'll probably get her voted off unless she only says it to the cameras. If THAT'S the case GO CORRINE! My favourite quote of hers was, "I'm gonna be really phony." I think an alliance between her and Ace would be fun to watch. But romance - doubt it.
Crystal - Olympic 4x400 track gold medalist. (2004). Now single mom. Grew up with 4 bros so she'll be tough. Says she'll lie if she has to cuz she'll never see these people again. She's got the athleticism to get her voted off in a hurry and she seems to be the standoffish type who won't ally. But at least she gets to visit "the Motherland." Roll eyes and sigh.
Dan - Another freakin' lawyer! Sounds like he's a rich one too. Triathlete. Are there any lawyers who don't run? Triathleticism will get him voted off faster than Crystal's speed. Nobody wants an excess of slimy lawyers around camp,he doesn't need the cash, he seems boring and he's got a wonky eye. However, he says his Mom, a nurse, is his hero. I think he'll like Gillian and if he doesn't ally with her quick, he'll need the attitude he showed when he said, "If I don't win, at least I've seen Africa." But to ally with Gillian, he'll have to stand in a long line so I think he's out early.
Danny - Former homeless now maintenence man. Loves fishing. Would quit his job to live outside. So maybe he was homeless by choice. He seems to be a loner. He wants to help out but not stand out. Probably needs the money the most. He's a realist and that might put him at odds with the "you can do anything you put your mind to" crowd. Danny and I would add, "if your family has money" to the end of that statement. Maybe Crystal and "GC" will ally because they both dislike everybody else, (and because they're black but I would never say that non-parenthetically).
Gillian - 61-year-old retired nurse. She was a nurse since she was 20. Been to 46 countries, applied for the show 15 times, married to the same dude for 37 years, THIS lady doesn't give up! She IS a survivor by definition. You gotta love her! She'll be very popular no doubt and her S. African accent will just add to her popularity. I think she'll be very little threat to win the challenges but not so bad that she loses them for her team, and it's always nice to have a nurse around in the African bush. She SHOULD go to the late stages and on the strength of her Survivor studying could be the oldest winner ever. She's not in the boobs and butts club but she'll be the chairperson, (rocking chairperson), of the gumption and guts club.
Jaque - She's in medical sales like Corrinne but I doubt they'll get along. I doubt I'd get along with her either. May be the leader of the "anything is possible" crew. Hates people who talk about dreams but do nothing about them. Those would be poor people, Jaque. She works long hours in her male-dominated job. I'm sure her hard work, not her model looks, "unintentional flirting" and solid bod got her as far as she's gone. Could also be the leader of the requisite "girl power" club. I hope she goes early. We'll see.
Jessica - "Sugar" is a pin-up model/waitress at a 50's diner. Finally THAT demographic gets representation! I think she'll be likeable but useless at challenges and maybe dependant on others to carry her along. She expects that to be the case too and says she gets good vibes from Bob and Susie. But I think Bob and Susie will go early. Says she wants to lose her ass. I hope she sticks around long enough to do so. I'll miss her when she's voted off I think. Anyone who names her dog "Major P. Pants" is okay in my book.
Kelly - Her and Jaque are like two peas in the same pod. If they don't hook up for a bi-curious relationship during or after the show I'll be surprised. VERY overconfident in her abilities. The perfect example is the way she says she can "snooze" people. The "I can do anything!" "I'm gonna win!" will get awfully tiresome though. Especially coming from another young, gorgeous blonde with nice tits. But if her and Jaque can get a few more hot chicks to "snooze" the boys into a siren-induced destruction, good for them! It'll make for good viewing. I think the Survivor people always choose some babes for just this reason.
(to) Ken - Gotta have an Asian. A pro gamer. Super Smash Brothers god but a Survivor mortal. His only hope is for people not to notice him. If anybody can't handle the experience I'm guessing it'll be Ken. There are no pixelated tigers, snakes and spiders where they will be. I think the reality of the game show will hit him hard. But he might be tougher than he looks. He just might last long enough to impress a girl somewhere and finally get laid.
Marcus - Hottest bachelor in Georgia as voted in Cosmo. magazine. Doctor and a triathlete. He'll be good at survivor. Probably too good. I think he'll be voted off before he can find an Eve to his Adam. But with all the competitive, airheaded and even misandrist women he'll be out there with, it's probably good news for him.
Matty - Another early favourite of mine. He's a "foolosopher." Has a g/f who loves him, he thinks. Has a dog named Dink. I think Matty and Sugar should ally or maybe even hook up. He's done a lot of socializing so I think he might be able to read people. Surfer so he'll be good in the water. And he seems like a guy folks will like. I like his foolosophy.
Michelle - Music producer. Dad, (best friend), disappeared early in her life. Married and divorced by 19. Boxer, surfer, triathlete. Thinks she's a genius but I don't see it yet. Before show started she already seemed like she was competing with the other girls. Talking about girls reading power books and exercising and how she doesn't want anyone to see her power. That might be a good strategy or it might make people think she's weak. I think she might annoy a lot of people though. But that won't necessarily get her voted off. I don't like her yet but this may change.
Paloma - Student. Missionary parents. African experience. Lived in Kenya for no reason. Wants the mil. to start an orphanage in Kenya. She seems like a genuinely nice girl. AND she's pretty hot! But says she might make a transformation and lie for the show. Perfect plan! Could be ingenious! I can't wait to see what happens. Is lying to win a million bucks to help Kenyan orphans a sin? I don't think so. GO for it, Paloma! Eat the apple. Hoo hoo haa haaa!
Randy - Wedding Videographer? Considers himself ruthless and likes to pick on the weak and the dumb. Everyone disappoints him. A lot of bad defining moments in his life. He wants an alliance but that could be a tough move given his age and personality. I think I am gonna love this guy like I loved Rudy! I REALLY want him and Corrinne to ally and join with fellow dog lovers Matty and Jessica. But that would be too much to hope for. He's been in 100 triathlons! This guy is a a fo lete! He'll be abrasive to some people but I think the smarter ones might like him.
Susie - Hairdresser. Says she's a potty mouth. That's a plus in my book. She'll probably work hard around camp but not be so helpful in challenges. Not a good liar but has a cool gangster-type accent and a personality that'll make her popular enough so she won't have to. Says she WILL lie though. I think that's a bad strategy for her. She might be expendable since everything she has, Gillian has too and there will be more call for medical skills than haircuts. If she lies she's probly gone. But she feels guilty about leaving her family to do this anyway. Could even be one of those who gets homesick enough to quit. So I think she should be sent home early. But might not be.
In summation - GO Corrinne, Matty, Randy and Jessica! GO HOME Jaque, Kelly, Ace, Dan!
First to go - Ace or Dan. Bob if he jumps into leadership mode too early.
Winner - Gillian or Charlie. But I gotta vote for Paloma and the Kenyan kids.
I can't wait to see the first episode!
If we're playing Monopoly and I put a hotel on Boardwalk, you land on it and it breaks you, it doesn't mean I would send you to the poorhouse in real life. If we're playing Chess and I kill your Queen it doesn't make me a murderer in real life. But in every season of Survivor the players, (except for the infamous Johnny Fairplay), always make these alliances and trust people only to have teary-eyed, namecalling fests at the end where they accuse liars and cheaters in a game where lying and cheating are not only "fair play", they are actually good strategy. Since the motto is "Outplay, Outlast, OutWIT" you might even say dishonesty is encouraged!
Because of these alliances, the athletic contestants usually don't fare too well unless they are lucky enough to be in an alliance of their own. The people who work hardest around camp and win all the challenges are usually voted out because they are perceived as a "threat." Just once I'd like to see the most deserving player win Survivor. But it usually doesn't work that way. However, it's a VERY interesting psychological experiment every season to see all the contestants fabricating reasons to vote people off when in the end the real reason every survivor loser gets voted off is not because the others don't want them around, it's because the others don't want to go home. THAT'S another thing I'd really like to see: "Sorry, dude, I just wanted the million bucks more than I cared about whether you stuck around any longer or not." Or I'd really like to see somebody say something like, "Look, only one person can get the million bucks so if the alliance has more than two people, its whole purpose is to eventually screw everyone else." But I think that might take the fun out of the game.
It isn't the people who lie or look in other people's backpacks or steal shoes or whatever who are the Machiavellian schemers, it's the alliance formers. I seem to remember that Rob and Amber were a good example. Amber ended up beating out Rob for the mil. but I think they were intent on being the final two from the get-go and anyone else foolish enough to join their alliance, effectively escorting Rob and Amber to the million bucks deserved to be voted out. It worked. We'll see if we have any two-person alliances this season. I think there are some pretty good prospects for that.
I did this once before on the blog and was pretty accurate about the game playing characters of the participants but was totally wrong about the eventual outcome. Let's see if I can't do better this time, shall we?
Ace - He's a salesman. A former CAR salesman. I once worked at a car lot and every one of the guys there would turn back the mileage on a car they sold their own MOTHER! A perfect candidate to enter into a crafty alliance like the one described above. Unfortunately for him, nobody's gonna trust him. He figures everyone will see him as the arrogant, stuck-up Brit for the simple reason that that's what he is. I'll be interested to see if he just rolls with this and is a conniving scumbag from the beginning. If so I just might vote for him. hee hee hee.
Bob - Physics teacher. Gotta side with the fellow teacher. And he's old, an outdoorsman, a builder and most intriguingly, head of his local teacher's union. If the teacher unions in the States are anything like the unions in Canada, this guy's gonna be tough! However, I happen to know that teaching is not the awesome job in the U.S. that it is in Canada. He says a couple things about himself that make me think he might be kept around till the building's done then turfed: "I'm wicked smart!" and "I'm the oldest one out here." The fact that the second statement is wrong probably shows the first one to be wrong too.
Charlie - Gaydar goes beep beep beep! A lawyer and from what I get on first impression, the token gay guy. Ivy league marathon running LAWYER. I instantly dislike this guy. If the number of lawyers on Survivor is representative of the per capita occupations in America I can see bad things in their future. However, he says he will try to ally, take risks, and not be the best. He wants to win like the last gay guy won, (Todd). Good strategy I'd say.
Corrinne - Has to be one of my early favourites. She's a drug dealer, (pharmaceuticals), and a self-described bitch. Says it's idiotic when reality show people find romance and doubts it'll happen without alcohol or tooth brushes. Said she's only in it for the money. She will say what the others only think. It'll probably get her voted off unless she only says it to the cameras. If THAT'S the case GO CORRINE! My favourite quote of hers was, "I'm gonna be really phony." I think an alliance between her and Ace would be fun to watch. But romance - doubt it.
Crystal - Olympic 4x400 track gold medalist. (2004). Now single mom. Grew up with 4 bros so she'll be tough. Says she'll lie if she has to cuz she'll never see these people again. She's got the athleticism to get her voted off in a hurry and she seems to be the standoffish type who won't ally. But at least she gets to visit "the Motherland." Roll eyes and sigh.
Dan - Another freakin' lawyer! Sounds like he's a rich one too. Triathlete. Are there any lawyers who don't run? Triathleticism will get him voted off faster than Crystal's speed. Nobody wants an excess of slimy lawyers around camp,he doesn't need the cash, he seems boring and he's got a wonky eye. However, he says his Mom, a nurse, is his hero. I think he'll like Gillian and if he doesn't ally with her quick, he'll need the attitude he showed when he said, "If I don't win, at least I've seen Africa." But to ally with Gillian, he'll have to stand in a long line so I think he's out early.
Danny - Former homeless now maintenence man. Loves fishing. Would quit his job to live outside. So maybe he was homeless by choice. He seems to be a loner. He wants to help out but not stand out. Probably needs the money the most. He's a realist and that might put him at odds with the "you can do anything you put your mind to" crowd. Danny and I would add, "if your family has money" to the end of that statement. Maybe Crystal and "GC" will ally because they both dislike everybody else, (and because they're black but I would never say that non-parenthetically).
Gillian - 61-year-old retired nurse. She was a nurse since she was 20. Been to 46 countries, applied for the show 15 times, married to the same dude for 37 years, THIS lady doesn't give up! She IS a survivor by definition. You gotta love her! She'll be very popular no doubt and her S. African accent will just add to her popularity. I think she'll be very little threat to win the challenges but not so bad that she loses them for her team, and it's always nice to have a nurse around in the African bush. She SHOULD go to the late stages and on the strength of her Survivor studying could be the oldest winner ever. She's not in the boobs and butts club but she'll be the chairperson, (rocking chairperson), of the gumption and guts club.
Jaque - She's in medical sales like Corrinne but I doubt they'll get along. I doubt I'd get along with her either. May be the leader of the "anything is possible" crew. Hates people who talk about dreams but do nothing about them. Those would be poor people, Jaque. She works long hours in her male-dominated job. I'm sure her hard work, not her model looks, "unintentional flirting" and solid bod got her as far as she's gone. Could also be the leader of the requisite "girl power" club. I hope she goes early. We'll see.
Jessica - "Sugar" is a pin-up model/waitress at a 50's diner. Finally THAT demographic gets representation! I think she'll be likeable but useless at challenges and maybe dependant on others to carry her along. She expects that to be the case too and says she gets good vibes from Bob and Susie. But I think Bob and Susie will go early. Says she wants to lose her ass. I hope she sticks around long enough to do so. I'll miss her when she's voted off I think. Anyone who names her dog "Major P. Pants" is okay in my book.
Kelly - Her and Jaque are like two peas in the same pod. If they don't hook up for a bi-curious relationship during or after the show I'll be surprised. VERY overconfident in her abilities. The perfect example is the way she says she can "snooze" people. The "I can do anything!" "I'm gonna win!" will get awfully tiresome though. Especially coming from another young, gorgeous blonde with nice tits. But if her and Jaque can get a few more hot chicks to "snooze" the boys into a siren-induced destruction, good for them! It'll make for good viewing. I think the Survivor people always choose some babes for just this reason.
(to) Ken - Gotta have an Asian. A pro gamer. Super Smash Brothers god but a Survivor mortal. His only hope is for people not to notice him. If anybody can't handle the experience I'm guessing it'll be Ken. There are no pixelated tigers, snakes and spiders where they will be. I think the reality of the game show will hit him hard. But he might be tougher than he looks. He just might last long enough to impress a girl somewhere and finally get laid.
Marcus - Hottest bachelor in Georgia as voted in Cosmo. magazine. Doctor and a triathlete. He'll be good at survivor. Probably too good. I think he'll be voted off before he can find an Eve to his Adam. But with all the competitive, airheaded and even misandrist women he'll be out there with, it's probably good news for him.
Matty - Another early favourite of mine. He's a "foolosopher." Has a g/f who loves him, he thinks. Has a dog named Dink. I think Matty and Sugar should ally or maybe even hook up. He's done a lot of socializing so I think he might be able to read people. Surfer so he'll be good in the water. And he seems like a guy folks will like. I like his foolosophy.
Michelle - Music producer. Dad, (best friend), disappeared early in her life. Married and divorced by 19. Boxer, surfer, triathlete. Thinks she's a genius but I don't see it yet. Before show started she already seemed like she was competing with the other girls. Talking about girls reading power books and exercising and how she doesn't want anyone to see her power. That might be a good strategy or it might make people think she's weak. I think she might annoy a lot of people though. But that won't necessarily get her voted off. I don't like her yet but this may change.
Paloma - Student. Missionary parents. African experience. Lived in Kenya for no reason. Wants the mil. to start an orphanage in Kenya. She seems like a genuinely nice girl. AND she's pretty hot! But says she might make a transformation and lie for the show. Perfect plan! Could be ingenious! I can't wait to see what happens. Is lying to win a million bucks to help Kenyan orphans a sin? I don't think so. GO for it, Paloma! Eat the apple. Hoo hoo haa haaa!
Randy - Wedding Videographer? Considers himself ruthless and likes to pick on the weak and the dumb. Everyone disappoints him. A lot of bad defining moments in his life. He wants an alliance but that could be a tough move given his age and personality. I think I am gonna love this guy like I loved Rudy! I REALLY want him and Corrinne to ally and join with fellow dog lovers Matty and Jessica. But that would be too much to hope for. He's been in 100 triathlons! This guy is a a fo lete! He'll be abrasive to some people but I think the smarter ones might like him.
Susie - Hairdresser. Says she's a potty mouth. That's a plus in my book. She'll probably work hard around camp but not be so helpful in challenges. Not a good liar but has a cool gangster-type accent and a personality that'll make her popular enough so she won't have to. Says she WILL lie though. I think that's a bad strategy for her. She might be expendable since everything she has, Gillian has too and there will be more call for medical skills than haircuts. If she lies she's probly gone. But she feels guilty about leaving her family to do this anyway. Could even be one of those who gets homesick enough to quit. So I think she should be sent home early. But might not be.
In summation - GO Corrinne, Matty, Randy and Jessica! GO HOME Jaque, Kelly, Ace, Dan!
First to go - Ace or Dan. Bob if he jumps into leadership mode too early.
Winner - Gillian or Charlie. But I gotta vote for Paloma and the Kenyan kids.
I can't wait to see the first episode!
Sunday, September 21, 2008
Live trickling
Greetings brethren and sistren. I'm pretty excited these days. It's not due to any change in the weather because it's still hot and yucky outside here in Gwangju. Actually this is the first year in a long time the weather didn't change right around Chuseok. That was a week ago. I guess this could be chalked up to yer global warming but I'm not gonna panic yet. We might just have a longer than average winter for all anyone knows. OH I hope so!
No, I'm in the same good mood I usually am at this time of the year. The equinoxes always find me more chipper than average due to a couple of things: Sports and TV. They are late March and September, (or maybe early April and October), when the sporting worlds align to create magical times of year every six months for the avid sports fan. Right about now baseball is ready for the playoffs, the NFL has just nicely gotten underway and hockey is just around the corner. In March and April there's hockey playoffs, March madness college basketball and the beginning of baseball season. I only like that slightly less than THIS time of year. That might be because I support a hockey team that is lucky to MAKE the playoffs. More of the same this year for the Canucks by the looks of it. I think they are more worried about the other team scoring on them again this year than they are about trying to score themselves. Doesn't anyone else see the kind of pussy hockey that is? But I like offense in ALL sports. I'd rather lose a high scoring game than win a low scoring game. And I tend to support the teams that share that philosophy. You know, the winning teams.
Last week in the NFL the Dallas 41-Philadelphia 37 shootout was generally agreed upon to be the game of the week. A few might choose the Denver 39-San Diego 38 game but it's not because of the sterling defensive play. Last year was the first time in a LONG time that the defensive leaders won the Stanley Cup. It happens once in a while. Just often enough to make the dumb saying, "Defence wins Stanley Cups" NOT seem as dumb as it is. Usually the teams that win with defence also have a great offence. Detroit was third in that category last year. You see it's hard to get scored on when your team spends 90% of the game on offense. Chris Osgood looked like a superstar last year with his miniscule goals against average but he must have had a boring year. The ice in front of him never needed the zamboni. What I'm saying is defensive numbers are helped by the offence. It doesn't work the other way around. One of the best examples of this, unfortunately, is the Canucks. "The best defence is a good offence." Now THAT'S not a dumb saying.
Of all the sports, (the real ones that is), I think baseball is going in the best direction. Games are higher scoring than ever. They take a longer time and have more action thereby giving the fans more bang for the buck. And now that everyone knows the players are all juiced up steroid junkies and we seem to be okay with that, it's a homerfest every game! 140 lb. shortstops are hitting 30 home runs a year. Check swings are going over the fence. I wouldn't be surprised if soon we see our first "bunt homer." I saw the Dodgers hit back to back to back TO BACK home runs in a game vs. San Diego to come back in the 9th inning from a 9-5 deficit. Then in the 10th inning they won the game - with a home run! Defence is important and I like a good defensive play as much as the next guy but even the best defence, like a perfect game, will never get the fans as revved up as they were at this game. The fans AND the players. It's good for everyone.
Defence is good for the coaches. For some reason we get a lot of has been defensive players who end up being coaches and since they sucked at offense when they played, they force their teams to suck like they did in their day by preaching defence 24/7. AGAIN the Canucks are a good example of this. Alain Vigneault had a cup of coffee in the big leagues. Played 42 games. He got 2 goals and 5 assists. 82 penalty minutes though! Good for him! Is this the kind of guy you want coaching your team? Not me. I want Stan Smyl, Wayne Gretzky, Thomas Gradin or maybe Trevor Linden as the Canucks coach. Guys who know offence. And I want them to preach responsible defence while playing offensively. THEN we'd have something!
Anyway, I'm still happy to have my three favourite sports going on at the same time. (Not to mention golf). And with new live streaming technology it's becoming possible for me to actually SEE these games instead of just listen or watch the real time descriptions of them. Unfortunately, my free internet at the dorm doesn't give me enough bandwidth or speed or whatever to get smooth live streams. I get what is more like a live trickle. But it's better than nothing. This weekend I watched the Ryder Cup golf from 1 am to 8 am Friday Saturday and Sunday. At these times most of the students are sleeping so the internet is better. I didn't watch ALL of it of course but stayed up pretty late watching. And today, (Monday), at 8 in the morning I got up and watched Sunday Night Football. It was a bit jerky, came in and out, the sound was sloppy, (THAT doesn't sound like a normal Monday morning to me!), but it was watchable. I am thinking of paying for my own internet. Then I can get a much better stream. Not sure yet.
And if that wasn't enough to keep me semi-satisfied with my TV viewing, the fall seasons are starting and all my favourite shows will be on again. I already watched the first Ultimate Fighter and think Junie Browning is a shoe-in to win the little guy competition. Unless he gets out of control in the house with the free booze. The Office, My Name is Earl, Survivor, and I'm sure there will be some new shows I like too. All the more reason to get my own internet cuz downloading is much slower here too. I've made a list of what I think of the new Survivor crew. A few interesting characters this time. Not many but it'll still be fun. Maybe I'll post my predictions.
Anyway, other than night hiking, (when it's marginally cooler than the day, but still not cool), that's what's new with me. Last night it was pretty funny. I met two dogs on the path, a white one and a black one. It's pretty dark on the hiking path at night so the dogs just turned around and ran away. I must admit they scared the pants off me too. But my reaction was surprising to me. I didn't say anything, I just brought my arms up above my head like a monster and made myself look big. No wonder those dogs hightailed it outta there so fast. Then I laughed about it although in the back of my mind I was hoping they wouldn't return with a dozen other dogs a la Thailand.
I better get some work done for the short week this week. Two days off for a school festival on Wed. and Thurs. I think they might even extend it to Fri. We'll see. I love this place!
No, I'm in the same good mood I usually am at this time of the year. The equinoxes always find me more chipper than average due to a couple of things: Sports and TV. They are late March and September, (or maybe early April and October), when the sporting worlds align to create magical times of year every six months for the avid sports fan. Right about now baseball is ready for the playoffs, the NFL has just nicely gotten underway and hockey is just around the corner. In March and April there's hockey playoffs, March madness college basketball and the beginning of baseball season. I only like that slightly less than THIS time of year. That might be because I support a hockey team that is lucky to MAKE the playoffs. More of the same this year for the Canucks by the looks of it. I think they are more worried about the other team scoring on them again this year than they are about trying to score themselves. Doesn't anyone else see the kind of pussy hockey that is? But I like offense in ALL sports. I'd rather lose a high scoring game than win a low scoring game. And I tend to support the teams that share that philosophy. You know, the winning teams.
Last week in the NFL the Dallas 41-Philadelphia 37 shootout was generally agreed upon to be the game of the week. A few might choose the Denver 39-San Diego 38 game but it's not because of the sterling defensive play. Last year was the first time in a LONG time that the defensive leaders won the Stanley Cup. It happens once in a while. Just often enough to make the dumb saying, "Defence wins Stanley Cups" NOT seem as dumb as it is. Usually the teams that win with defence also have a great offence. Detroit was third in that category last year. You see it's hard to get scored on when your team spends 90% of the game on offense. Chris Osgood looked like a superstar last year with his miniscule goals against average but he must have had a boring year. The ice in front of him never needed the zamboni. What I'm saying is defensive numbers are helped by the offence. It doesn't work the other way around. One of the best examples of this, unfortunately, is the Canucks. "The best defence is a good offence." Now THAT'S not a dumb saying.
Of all the sports, (the real ones that is), I think baseball is going in the best direction. Games are higher scoring than ever. They take a longer time and have more action thereby giving the fans more bang for the buck. And now that everyone knows the players are all juiced up steroid junkies and we seem to be okay with that, it's a homerfest every game! 140 lb. shortstops are hitting 30 home runs a year. Check swings are going over the fence. I wouldn't be surprised if soon we see our first "bunt homer." I saw the Dodgers hit back to back to back TO BACK home runs in a game vs. San Diego to come back in the 9th inning from a 9-5 deficit. Then in the 10th inning they won the game - with a home run! Defence is important and I like a good defensive play as much as the next guy but even the best defence, like a perfect game, will never get the fans as revved up as they were at this game. The fans AND the players. It's good for everyone.
Defence is good for the coaches. For some reason we get a lot of has been defensive players who end up being coaches and since they sucked at offense when they played, they force their teams to suck like they did in their day by preaching defence 24/7. AGAIN the Canucks are a good example of this. Alain Vigneault had a cup of coffee in the big leagues. Played 42 games. He got 2 goals and 5 assists. 82 penalty minutes though! Good for him! Is this the kind of guy you want coaching your team? Not me. I want Stan Smyl, Wayne Gretzky, Thomas Gradin or maybe Trevor Linden as the Canucks coach. Guys who know offence. And I want them to preach responsible defence while playing offensively. THEN we'd have something!
Anyway, I'm still happy to have my three favourite sports going on at the same time. (Not to mention golf). And with new live streaming technology it's becoming possible for me to actually SEE these games instead of just listen or watch the real time descriptions of them. Unfortunately, my free internet at the dorm doesn't give me enough bandwidth or speed or whatever to get smooth live streams. I get what is more like a live trickle. But it's better than nothing. This weekend I watched the Ryder Cup golf from 1 am to 8 am Friday Saturday and Sunday. At these times most of the students are sleeping so the internet is better. I didn't watch ALL of it of course but stayed up pretty late watching. And today, (Monday), at 8 in the morning I got up and watched Sunday Night Football. It was a bit jerky, came in and out, the sound was sloppy, (THAT doesn't sound like a normal Monday morning to me!), but it was watchable. I am thinking of paying for my own internet. Then I can get a much better stream. Not sure yet.
And if that wasn't enough to keep me semi-satisfied with my TV viewing, the fall seasons are starting and all my favourite shows will be on again. I already watched the first Ultimate Fighter and think Junie Browning is a shoe-in to win the little guy competition. Unless he gets out of control in the house with the free booze. The Office, My Name is Earl, Survivor, and I'm sure there will be some new shows I like too. All the more reason to get my own internet cuz downloading is much slower here too. I've made a list of what I think of the new Survivor crew. A few interesting characters this time. Not many but it'll still be fun. Maybe I'll post my predictions.
Anyway, other than night hiking, (when it's marginally cooler than the day, but still not cool), that's what's new with me. Last night it was pretty funny. I met two dogs on the path, a white one and a black one. It's pretty dark on the hiking path at night so the dogs just turned around and ran away. I must admit they scared the pants off me too. But my reaction was surprising to me. I didn't say anything, I just brought my arms up above my head like a monster and made myself look big. No wonder those dogs hightailed it outta there so fast. Then I laughed about it although in the back of my mind I was hoping they wouldn't return with a dozen other dogs a la Thailand.
I better get some work done for the short week this week. Two days off for a school festival on Wed. and Thurs. I think they might even extend it to Fri. We'll see. I love this place!
Tuesday, September 16, 2008
Maslow's Dogs
I was in Pattaya, Thailand not so long ago. I decided to go to the fishing pond and try to catch one of the giant carp they have there. The big ones weren't biting MY hook, (as you can see), but I saw some other guys pull out some large ones. I managed to hook a couple though. Another country I've caught a fish in. So it was worth it.
On the way home I saw a mid-sized dog approaching from a dirt field just off the road. It wasn't running or growling at all. But it wasn't smiling or wagging its tail either. It was stalking like a bobcat in the mountains or a cheetah on the plains. It wasn't yet what I would call emaciated but the shoulder bones bulged behind its face with each step.
You and I know that good guys always prosper, a gentle answer turneth away wrath, you attract more flies with honey than vinegar and so on and so forth. We've been trained to be nice. But I don't think this heathen dog ever read the book of Proverbs or watched a Disney movie. This Asian dog probably hadn't even benefitted from the Confucian ideal of recompensing kindness with kindness or been edified by the Dalai Lama's message that if you want to be happy, practice compassion and if you want others to be happy, practice compassion. I don't think personal enlightenment was high up on this dog's list of things to attain that day. At least it was way below other things such as survival, reproduction, gastric satiety. But why would that deter me? Good triumphs over evil doesn't it? I was going to be so nice to this dog that he'd absolutely love me!
I whistled for the dog and began talking to it in soothing tones. The dog instantly understood that I wasn't the threat it had feared. It understood that unlike the average Thai passerby, I would not treat it as a dog. I was ABOVE that! However, its reaction wasn't quite what I'd hoped for. The change in the dog's demeanor and actual expression was one I will not soon forget. Like the blood curdling, white-eyed, toothy countenance of a person who realizes his foe is defeated and open for the coup de grace, and chooses to deliver that death blow.
The dog, emboldened, came toward me menacingly. I immediately realized that a change of strategy was in order. I think I might have said something silly like, "Bad dog!" The new tone of my voice only caused the dog to pause slightly. Or maybe it was just waiting for the dozen OTHER dogs that seemed to rise from the earth like Aphrodite from the foam of the sea. I was fresh meat. And given the average size of a Thai person, I must have looked like a Thanksgiving turkey to this pack of now charging dogs. I was plumb out of compassion for the dog or any of its cohorts. I turned tail and ran like a cat. Or more accurately like Garfield the cat. But this dog nipping at my heels was odiOUS, but not Odie.
I ran for what seemed a long enough time for the dogs to catch up to me. I ran TOWARDS the busy street, not away from it, (as I had learned the hard way from a similar incident with 15 stick toting teens who attacked me in Vancouver). I feared that I wouldn't reach the highway and could almost feel the first fangs sinking into my ample buttocks. Would this be how I met with my demise? In a dirt field in Thailand? Eaten by stray dogs? Would I be forced to turn and fight for my life? I believe I was one bite away from reverting to the feral state of my adversaries. And in that savage state, could I possibly defeat the dogs or fend them off? These dogs had underestimated me. I was ready to at least take a few of them with me if I was to die in that field. While running at full speed I was desperately searching the field for a stick, a pipe, or a discarded jawbone of an ass when two ladies on a moped swerved off the highway, rode between the dogs and me and gunned the moped motor. This effectively ended the dramatics. The dogs retreated to their VERY effective hiding spots in the field. I mean as mysteriously as they had emerged from the field they melted back into it like Honus Wagoner into the shrubbery of the Field of Dreams.
Winded and still hastily making my way toward the road I waved to the ladies and said, "Khorb koon. Sawhat dee kap." That's thank you and good bye. They waved at me and giggled.
I could launch into a lecture on Maslow's hierarchy of needs here. But the point I want to make is that Maslow, (one of many people who became famous for writing down on paper what I thought was obvious to everyone, (but I think I was wrong)), is only relevant from a position of privilege. Lifelong privilege. It would be as tedious as the gatherings Lord Henry Wotton in "The Portrait of Dorian Gray" despises where the rich debate the virtues of thrift and the idle talk about the benefit of a hard day's work. But, screw it, I'll do it anyways!
While the tiny portion of the world who I would consider to be privileged is striving for things like self-esteem, fame, love, confidence, recognition and FREEDOM, the majority of the world is just trying to stay alive. Things are viewed differently in relation to how far up Maslow's pyramid you find yourself. To me, and I count myself among the privileged, compassion is beautiful. I love campassionate people and I am trying to be a kind person. I have that luxury because I am not worried about food or shelter. But to someone or something living every day on what they can get that day, virtues like compassion, kindness, charity, even love are in other people weaknesses to exploit for personal gain and in themselves stupidity for not exploiting that weakness. If that dog in Thailand was, as I suspect, starving it would have been a supreme act of canine compassion for it to supress the survival instinct of attack. He was not stupid enough to let me pet him and I was stupid for trying, thus giving it the opening it needed to attack.
I don't blame the dogs at all for chasing me. In fact I will be back in Pattaya some day soon. The field of dogs is on the way to a golf driving range I use while I'm there. What a perfect illustration! Next time I'm on my way lugging my thousand dollar golf clubs to the range to drive golf balls in hopes of lowering my handicap and I pass by the starving dogs I think I just might toss a handfull of doggie treats in that field, then run like a bat out of hell. And I probably won't stop being nice to stray dogs no matter what country I'm in.
I don't blame poor people for trying to cheat privileged folks like me either. In fact I sometimes, whether consciously or unconsciously, put myself in positions that allow them to do so. I'm just that nice! Or stupid.
But I'll tell you what real evil is. Evil exists here on earth despite what some believe. In fact it is widespread. You can find it in any country of the world poor or rich. Evil is when people find themselves beyond survival mode, even in positions of privilege and/or luxury at the top of Maslow's pyramid and they continue to employ techniques used in survival mode. If I find out that those dogs are well cared for and fed, I just might feel a desire to go back to Thailand and throw a handful of POISONED doggie treats in that field. They are just bad dogs and it's hard to teach an old dog new tricks. When a dog lives in survival mode long enough it's impossible to lose those instincts. They don't feel right about taking free food because they've fought for every meal their whole lives so they will bite a person who gives them a big juicy steak. These are considered crazy dogs. Not right in the head. Dangerous to humans. Impossible to reform. In a proper society they would be "put down." I saw them attack another guy who got too close too. He fought them off with a golf club for a while and I waved to him and shouted for him to cross the street.
This all happened almost two years ago. I don't doubt that enough people have complained to the authorities by now that the whole pack has been "humanely destroyed." I mean what if a kid were to walk by the field? Or even worse, a TOURIST kid! I hope neither has happened. On the other hand, I hold no ill will toward the dogs.
As for people, they are worse than animals. People have brains, not just instincts. Every day here in Asia I see people lying, cheating, stealing, using violence against each other, NOT for survival but out of pure selfishness. I see that feral, wide-eyed, toothy countenance on people who are signing crooked contracts or forclosing on mortgages or taking over businesses. They might tell you it's in their culture but I'm here to tell you that's a crock! Anyone who uses Sun Tzu's "Art of War" or the writings of Confucious to justify their greed is either selectively reading those writers or hasn't read them at all. It happens with the Bible too and any other source of moral values you can find. There's a difference between stealing a loaf of bread to feed your starving family and stealing a loaf of bread to use as a condiment for your yacht launching party. That difference has been lost in societies all over the world where we willingly suppress what is right in the pursuit of riches. Since it is awfully hard to teach old captains of industry and crooked businessmen new tricks, a proper society would have these mentally diseased individuals "put down." Instead they are given accolades and respect. Even though the top one percent of Maslow's pyramid could easily elevate everyone in the world above the bottom two sections and still remain the top dogs, they not only will not do that but continue to fight for every bit of riches they can get as if it were a matter of survival. Like dogs biting the hand that gives them steak. These are bad people. Impossible to reform. Not right in the head. Dangerous to humans.
But I will go on being nice/weak to people and animals all over the world and I will continue to be taken advantage of. I'm sure it'll be my undoing. But it will be a good death. Or maybe, just maybe, some day the whole world will make it past the bottom portions of Maslow's pyramid and then we will ALL have the luxury of being able to be nice to each other.
Monday, September 01, 2008
First weekend back in Gwangju
What a weekend! The picture you see above you was Friday night after the Kia Tigers beat the Woori Heroes 3 - 1. I went with my old buddy Min Ha. He actually won a prize with his ticket too! We checked what the prize was and it was a vacuum cleaner. He works for the vacuum cleaner department of Samsung. It was an LG vacuum. And he said it was an old model and not so good. Ha ha ha. Oh well. You get what you pay for.
Min Ha had plans after the game so I went out for sam gyup sal with Joo Il. He's the peace sign flashing Kia Tigers MC. Some of these other guys could speak a little English, and one guy spoke some Japanese with me too, but for the most part I had to try to use Korean or Charade the whole night with anyone but Joo Il. But it was still fun. By the time this pic was taken I was into the Baek Sae Ju. I'm raising a bottle of soju only because it was handy. I didn't have any of it. Yuck! But I tried a few new things. Raw cow liver and stomach was actually pretty good. I had some of that dipped in the gochujang and samjang. But let's be honest, raw skunk arsehole would be good dipped in samjang. I like samjang.
So after 10 beers at the game, (it was a long one. I usually have one an inning. Really? No.), three bottles of Baek Sae Ju with samgyupsal and assorted raw livestock vital organs it was time to go home. BUT WE DIDN'T! We went to a singing room! A bunch of gassed up guys singing, drinking, dancing and playing the tambourine. What could be more fun?
So after singing, (and I use that term loosely), for a little too long, drinking a little too much and starting to fall asleep it was time to go home. BUT WE DIDN'T! Somebody ordered a big fruit plate and we kept on wailing away! It was 4:30 or something when I finally got outta there. I took a taxi back to the dorm. It was locked. Last time I taught here at Seogang I had keys for the back door to use after hours. I didn't have the back door key yet. So I sat outside on the picnic table and fed the mosquitoes for who knows how long. The mosquitoes who sucked my blood probably died of alcohol poisoning but it's little consolation. It looks like I have the measles up to my knees.
I got really irritated because I was scratching all over, tired, and needed to use my bathroom so I sent my supervisor a text, "Why am I locked out of my room?" Shortly thereafter the caretaker came down and let me in. It was only 5:30 or so. I don't think they open at that time. So I thought Jung, (my supervisor), had called the guy and woken him up. But he called me today, (Monday), and said he had just read my message. Coincidentally I just got my key today too. So now I won't be locked out in the winter. Slowly getting settled...
I also went to the Irritation Office today. I mean the Tribulation Office. I mean, you know what I mean. If you read my last post you'll have guessed that they didn't give me any grief. And for once, they didn't. Well, that's not entirely true. The girl who two weeks ago demanded that I get a physical test along with the AIDS and drug tests was NOT the one who took my papers and without the physical they were perfectly acceptable. So obviously it was just something she had done to add a little hassle to my life. Typical. But the girl last week who took my papers didn't make me jump thru any of her own hoops and didn't ask me for pictures! So today I walked down to the Nausiation Office got my passport and alien card back and got wet. It was raining a bit. But it was a cool sprinkle so it made the walk more pleasant. When I left it was raining harder. But even the downpour on the way back couldn't ruin THAT walk. You know how you feel at quitting time before the long weekend? The time when you have the most free time until you have to work again? That's how I felt today! 350 days or so until I have to do this crap again! YEAH!!!
Here's a thinker. While walking long distances, and it's about an hour to the Aggrivation Office, I tend to think or even talk to myself. Today I was wondering why you need passport or alien card to do so many things in Korea. Some people get their passports stamped every time they send money home. I had to produce my passport while I was DEPOSITING Korean money into my Korean account one time! Yet, I was a week without both of them and all I needed to show to get BOTH was this little slip of easily reproduceable paper with nobody's signature, no fancy drawings, no watermarks, no holographic seal, nothing but typing. They have more official looking receipts to pick up your drycleaning! In that one week anyone with a beard, (cuz we DO all look alike to the people here, (Koreans say I look like Bruce Willis, Jesus, anyone who's ever had facial hair)), could have printed out the mickey mouse receipt for my passport and alien card, given it to them and I'd no longer be me!
Luckily THAT didn't happen. Although it might have been cool for a few days to not be me. I could have stolen a sports car, robbed a bank, freed some kennel dogs, streaked the senate, strangled the "Le Le Lemon" guy, done all kinds of things and nobody would know who had done them! It wouldn't have been ME!
However, today I got all my syllabuses printed out, made copies, planned lessons for the entire semester, printed out attendance for all my classes and now I'm totally prepared! It was ME that did all that so I want the pay. Luckily with my official documents I can PROVE it was me who did all that. I'll tell you Korea isn't the worst either. You are a piece of dirt without a passport in other countries too. Or money. As I found out the hard way. But that is another story. It's time to hit the hay. I'd stay up and see if Mike Weir wins the Deutsche Bank Championship but with all these students here using the internet it's ridiculously slow. I can't watch streaming video any more like Live@ on pgatour.com or the Daily Show or Colbert Report. I can't even watch episodes of Southpark on southparkstudios.com anymore. Unless the students are all gone. So I'll have to download everything now. And THAT is much slower too. Sometimes the gmail page is too much for my internet to handle for the love of God! But oh well, you get what you pay for.
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