Mom and the Girls Mom Warned Us About

I've been doing a little surfing. Catching up on world events without having to depress myself by reading the newspaper. These are interesting times.

First an absolutely perfect Mother's Day cartoon. My Mom never reads this so the fact that I'm posting this late won't matter. She'll likely read it around Christmas.

Happy Mother's Day, Mom. Thanks to the blogger I stole this from too.

As for world events, I don't like thinking about economics or war or depressing things like that so I figured I'd catch up with celebs. What's happening with the hottest gals of our time. If you had to choose three, (and this is just public opinion, not mine), I think probably Paris Hilton, Britney Spears and Lindsay Lohan are the cheerleaders in the minds of most horny guys chanting "Two, four, six, eight - look at us and masterbate."

We all know by now that Paris is gonna spend 45 days giving guards and inmates a taste of why Hilton is "so nice to come home to." Poor girl. No, I'm serious! What did she do, drive drunk and without a license 3, 4, 10 times? Well how can she be expected to know what life is like in the real world. She thought those laws were for REGULAR people.

The pic to the right reminds me of a recent Simpsons episode in which Homer is taking sleeping pills and they cause really destructive behaviour in him. Lisa says the drugs are dangerous and Homer says, "No Lisa I'm taking drugs not DRUUUUUUUGGGSSS." Okay, I think laws against marijuana are stupid. So many people are doped up on legal drugs to make them sleep, keep them awake, make them happy, make them sad, let's face it if there is the slightest thing wrong there's a drug for it. And if you looked at the effects of most drugs prescribed for psychological problems, you'd think the prescribers were pushers, not doctors. I guess that's the point. Why let regular people get rich selling druuuuuugggsss when the medical industry can get even richer selling drugs that look nicer but are more dangerous. Anyway, right or wrong there are laws and evidently Paris doesn't think THOSE laws apply to her either. But what the hay, way to go Paris! Fight the power.

Paris loves being dirty on camera. There is 24/7 videotaped surveillance at every jail and prison I know of. What do you wanna bet a few tapes go missing from her prison? There are some prison guards saying !!CHACHING!! right now. Keep a close watch on Youtube.

And Lindsay is power partying all night then calling in sick to work. Ever done that? No, neither have I. She has decided, (bless her heart), that the world needs to see more of her. So she's a stripper in her next movie. The plot of the movie is about a... yeah, right! Like ANYONE cares.

There isn't much more we can see of Lindsay, but I applaud her efforts nonetheless.

And last but not least, Britney. Take a look at this pic. It's probably too small for you to read the writing but it's on her official website if you wanna check. It's just a pic to thank all the fans who have been praying for her. So you're a good Christian until what, you show nipple?

I just wanna know for future reference. This might get my ass back in a pew I'll tell you hwat! Nice wig eh? heh heh.

These are the three hottest girls in the world? Back in my glory days of pin-ups, posters and celebrity babe worship they woulda been too sleazy for me. If I were a teenager now I think I might have a wall full of Jessica Alba or Scarlett Joahansson. I don't think you can do much better than that. But whatever floats your boat I guess.

There. Now FOR SURE I'll get more people to read my blog.