Wednesday, August 22, 2007

I Made it Back

I'm home from Thailand. The trip was murder as usual. Left Thailand at 12:30 and got to Korea around 6 AM. Didn't sleep a wink. Even on the luxury bus to Ui Jung Boo I couldn't sleep. Got home around 8:30 I think and my house was a holy mess! I guess it had rained a lot while I was gone cuz the house was full of mold. But there was also DUST everywhere. How the hell does that happen?
So before hitting my bed with all my comfy pillows I missed so much I washed the floors, did some dishes that had beards on them, and, (NOOOOOO!!!), killed some ants. They're back.

I also flashed up the old computer. It too has suffered from the month I was away I think. I got some weird problems. Like when I went to a site where I could type as soon as I hit a key it was freezing. Couldn't use the mouse or the keyboard. But that problem seems to be slowly going away. As you can see. Could the humidity have caused that? I did some computer cleaning and reset the keyboard drivers but I really think it was just a month of sitting that caused the problem.

But now I can do another entry. Where to begin...

The trip was relatively, (for me), low on disaster. Apart from being chased by a pack of wild dogs... TWICE, getting dinged for 1000 baht because I overstayed two days, (really they stamped my passport for 28 days even though they knew I was staying 30), almost getting bit by a snake while looking for Ray's ball in the rough, and shooting my worst round of golf on the day of the tourney it was a lovely vacation. Spent way more than planned but I got a new set of clubs and a cool new camera.

The camera has a few problems but I think I'll iron them out soon. I can't seem to take pictures in focus even with the thing on auto. So I may have to learn how to focus manually. The movies are all in focus but they come out all grainy when I watch them on the computer. And a lot of the settings seem to be bogus. Taking a picture through glass doesn't seem to work better on the "through glass" setting for instance. But I hope to experiment and improve as I go along.

Yes, I did get chased by a pack of dogs. They live just beside a fairly busy street in Pattaya called 3rd Road. The driving range is just past where the dogs hang out. And I don't know how I managed to get past them but I went fishing at a fishing pond down their road. I only caught a couple of small ones but some people there were landing big ones. The guy beside me got a bite and his pole went into the water and water skied behind the fish for a while before sinking out of sight. That was funny. But coming back from the fishing hole I had to go out to 3rd road past a field. I saw a dog in the field and said hello as he walked closer to me. Then two more and two more and two more came out of nowhere. Pretty soon there were like 20 and they were all growling and showing their teeth. I started running. Luckily I was pretty close to 3rd road before they organized their attack. And a guy on a moped saw them chasing me and cut them off, revved his engine and scared them away. I don't know how I managed to get TO the fishing hole past their field. They would have eaten me up if I ran AWAY from 3rd road.

Then a few days later I was walking back from the driving range and the same thing happened. One then two more then two more then two more. I had my clubs with me so could have defended myself but I just found an opening and ran across the road to the other side. Another falang was walking behind me and he did the same thing. "Falang" means foreigner. They weren't old dogs either. They weren't puppies but they were like teenagers I guess. Bored teenagers who aren't enrolled in any sports and don't have doggy Playstation to keep them busy. But I didn't get bit.

I would rather get bit by a dog than the snake I nearly stomped on at Kow Kiau golf course. I don't know if it was poisonous but it had about a foot of its body off the ground and it was swaying like a python. I was looking along a nice trimmed bush, (something there is a lot of in Pattaya : ) but I was pretty sure Ray's shot went past the bush into the unmanicured rough. I was just lifting my leg to hop over the nice shrubbery and into the rough stuff when I saw the snake. Lucky I looked before I leapt. Ray took a lost ball penalty. And didn't feel as bad about it as one normally does.

I saw a ton of monkeys on the Monkey Course where we had our best ball tourney. I'm told they like to go through pockets in golf bags and take stuff so we didn't let them get too close. Even saw an elephant on the way home from golf one day. A logging elephant I think. No crocs though. Didn't get my hand bit off like Chubs from Happy Gilmore.

I managed to get two birdies, (not including the ones in the best ball tournament), and a whole pile of pars. My best round was 45/43 on Thai Navy course. 6 pars and a birdie there. And a triple on both the front and the back. About a 40 foot chip and run for the bird too. It was sweet!

I didn't get to fire a fully automatic weapon like the M 16's the have in Cambodia but shot a couple handguns. I started with the .44 and did okay. All my shots missed low and right so I think the site was off a bit. I took 12 shots with that. Then I tried a Gloc. What a tough gun to shoot that is! I couldn't hit the broad side of the barn with it. But then I tried the .22 to see if I still had the old dead eye. I like .22's. And even though they moved the target back so I couldn't even see the holes I was making, when they reeled the target in the holes were all in the right places. In the pic the big holes are from the Gloc and the little ones are the .22.

I DID get the new camera into the water and took some pics of fish with it but they're all blurry. That was disappointing. Still not bad though.

I went to the go-cart track with Pen, the accountant at Gordon's bar. We had a fun time. Pen had no licence so she went for a nice Sunday drive. I was smoking around the track. Had a couple of really good laps. Pen and I were both dirty afterwards. The carts are pretty close to the ground. We both had oil or rubber on our pants after we left. But it was worth it.

I spent a whole day at the Crocodile Park again. I went last year but my camera battery died so I couldn't get all the pics I wanted. I went with the new camera this year and wouldn't you know it, the battery died after only a few pictures again. I DID get a pic of the little tigress I fed last year. She has doubled in size. Don't think she remembered me though. But the elephants did. I fed them a huge pile of bananas. The little baby elephants came right up to me and said hello with their trunks. They're so cute! I like the big ones too. Elephants never forget. And I must have fed 10 bowls of food to the giant catfish. I still want to get a movie of those babies. They are monstrous!

I went to the Ripley's Believe it or not museum. Ennnnhhhh... Not bad not great.

I went to Underwater World. They have lots of rays, tortoises, sharks, huge groupers and cod, tuna and even some river otters. They were my fave. But I didn't get pictures because the camera died. They had a tank where you could touch a stingray as it swam by. And I did. A few times. Croikey that was fun mate! Sorry.

Caught a little Muai Thai action. Even went toe to toe with a couple practitioners myself. Afterwards I felt a little like visiting a general practitioner I'll tell you hwat. Those boys are in unbelievable shape to do what they do in the heat they do it in. Just watching them makes me sweat. More. And order another drink.

And I even found a bar that had a really HOT rock band. I spent a lot of time and money there. It was called Climax Bar on Walking Street. I'd recommend it.

I DIDN'T spend, (waste), a second on the beach. Well, I did walk there at sunset and after hours but no suntanning for me. Not even swimming. I was too busy doing better stuff. And I didn't go to a single temple. Seen enough.

Out of the whole month there was ONE day I spent in the hotel room. That was the day after I discovered Climax Bar. I think I was doing shots with the band. Ugh.

Met a lot of new friends and caught up with some old ones. In both senses. Ar ar. I ate some spectacular food. Only had a few bad meals. And had a really great time. These are just some of the pics. And finally, I had to throw in a little porn.

Isn't she little? Porn? Cute as a button though. That's Pen with her. Porn was our waitress for breakfast before the go carts. Ha ha ha.

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