Thursday, September 16, 2010

Harmony abounds

I can't believe Canada! When I was back there last month I noticed this new tax called hilariously the HST or Harmonized Sales Tax. This is absolutely not because it creates any harmony amongst the payers, (victims), of it, rather it was the name chosen by some brainwave working for the government who counts himself, (or I'd be willing to bet, HERself), a soothsayer who need only speak and things come into existence. The real reason for the name was because the tax works "in harmony" with the GST, goods and services tax which we have all loved so dearly and has itself been the cause of such harmony since its inception on the first day of 1991.

But it seems these days that some folks have seen a little too much Harry Potter or Crouching Tigers, Hidden Dragons, vampire movies or something. I think the name was partially chosen because these spacers in the Canadian government actually believe that the name could help people come to enjoy paying 13 or 12 percent extra on almost everything they buy. If, I suppose, it is coined and magically charged by a 12th level magic user. I may be overestimating Canadians, but I think we're all skeptical. You could call it the teenage sex-sport-simpson-lasagna-beer-booby tax and I STILL wouldn't like it. I don't care if Gandalf the Grey came up with that name. And I know that name might not appeal to my friends of the fairer sex but let's call it the teenage sex-sharing-candle-bubblebath-chocolate-champagne-romance tax and measure how many Canadian women would enjoy paying it. None of them. Not even if Oprah had come up with the name.

I'm just guessing here without a 30 million dollar referectum. Oh, did I spell that word incorrectly? I meant "referendum." This is what the Canadian government does when they think the Canadian people are trying to tell them something. They charge them a great deal more money than it actually costs to tell them what we've already made crystal clear. Our government officials have somehow perceived a slight disinclination among the commoners to pay more money for everything they buy despite such a lovely name. This might have something to do with the fact that over 700,000 people in BC, that's more than 15% of the province, signed a petition against the HST. That's gotta be at least 33% more people than the number that voted for the provincial leader whose attention they are trying to attract. And collecting these signatures probably cost Bill Vander Zalm and company a few hundred grand. But now we need a 30 bazillion dollar referectum to verify the results in the minds of the government officials.

Pity the poor government officials of Canada for their jobs are not easy. It takes a special person to try to spend/waste the avalanche of taxes they euphamistically call the provincial budget every year in ways that the public doesn't heartily object to rather than the ways that we cosistently want.

How do they get away with this? The answer is one of the factors that I believe contributes to these morons believing they have some special powers to speak things into existence. You see there is no basis to the 30 million dollar figure that has been thrown at the public of BC. In fact the person who tossed it out there probably had to wipe it off first because he/she had moments earlier pulled it out of his/her ass. But if they gave us a reasonable number like 500,000 dollars to hold a referendum, we'd probably put two and two together and say, "Hey, it shouldn't cost that much!" But nobody understands 30 million dollars. So we believe it. The government has become very adept at creating these massive numbers and it's gone to their heads. Now they're thinking, "If it works with numbers, why wouldn't it work with names?"

Give me half a million dollars and I'll do the referendum in B.C. 1000% more accurately than it's going to be done and I'll STILL have enough left over to retire on. Or just cut me in on some of that 30 mil. you're going to steal from the residents of BC, make me an MP in Smithers and I'll never tell. THEN things will be VERY harmonious for me!

No comments: