Saturday, February 20, 2010

Shut the &^$%&*+@@!! up about Tiger Woods already!


I know it's been said before but I'd like to say it one more time: what the smeg is going on in the world? Specifically this Tiger Woods public apology. This is the biggest waste of media time and energy in the history of mankind. Leave Tiger alone! It's a travesty. And ironically Tiger mentioned in his PUBLIC APOLOGY that his actions were because HE felt an unreasonable sense of entitlement. Who are these idiots who feel entitled to an apology from Woods? And who are these JAGOFFS who have the ass to say, "No, I'm still not satisfied." "He didn't seem genuine." "It's not enough."?!?! Come ON!

I too admit to being interested in his sexual behaviour and his off course driving but it has in absolutely no way detracted one iota from my reverence for Tiger Woods' mastery of the hardest sport in the world. If anything this will probably have a Clintonesque effect on me to where I, through abject pity for the man, end up liking him a whole lot more. I certainly don't feel entitled to any apology for anything he's done in his personal life. I don't recall him ever promising me that he will be a dutiful husband, be faithful to his spouse, and never cheat on her. I don't recall him swearing that even though he's a young, attractive sexual stud with women throwing themselves at him and more than enough money to show them ALL the times of their lives, he will not shag them five at a time in his heart-shaped limousine hot tub. I don't recall that. These are not prerequisites to the acquisition of a PGA Tour card.

If he used steroids or cheated at golf somehow, then I could understand a public apology but the only people who deserve a PRIVATE apology for his private affairs are the people in his private life.

What if Tiger Woods were a famous rock star? We would almost expect this kind of behaviour. If you want a warped but valid slant on this, listen to Bill Hicks. PLAY FROM YOUR HEART!!! Who cares if a lot of rock stars are violent, promiscuous, suicidal, deviants who die in pools of their own vomit, THEY ROCK! Why can't we extend this same courtesy to athletes? Don't tell me it's because watching Tiger Woods hit a 300-yard two iron is any less artistic than a Jimi Hendrix guitar solo! Cuz I love rock and roll, but I'd say they both ROCK just as hard!

To quote another famous comedian, George Carlin, "I'm tired of being told who to admire in this country!" Amazingly enough he actually uses Tiger Woods as an example here. Because that's really the problem isn't it? Why are we supposed to look up to Tiger Woods? He hits a golf ball for a living. Why should he have to be as pure as the driven snow?

Why do so many athletes have this same problem? It's been going on forever too. Look at Babe Ruth. He drank a quart of whiskey with his daily breakfast of a big steak, 6 fried eggs and potatoes. He blacked out on a train once after eating 18 hotdogs. He drank, smoked, swore, played and lived harder than most people. He probably wouldn't have been so great otherwise.

And how many basketball players are frowned on for drugs, guns, sexual affairs and such? Hello? Most of these guys were recruited in the hood not the Hamptons. And this is not to say things in the Hamptons are any more moral.

Then there's Ross Rebagliati, the Canadian snowboarder who had his medal stripped because he smoked some weed. Maybe that's a bit different because marijuana is against the rules but we have to question why that is. It's not like it's a performance ENHANCER! We're forcing social expectations on athletes that are just ridiculous. The fault is not in the athlete, but the society.

I'm trying to think who I am more upset with, Tiger Woods or the guy who wins 30 million bucks in the lottery and goes back to his job at the box-making factory for the rest of his life. If you have the good life, live it! That's what I say. And it's almost mockery of us poor paycheck to paycheck people if you don't! Isn't it?

And it's not like he was slumming it. Look at the list of girls he's been with! WOW! I'm not saying Tiger should have cheated on his wife. I think everyone should honour the commitment of marriage. Or just don't do it. Maybe, like half the people in the world, (maybe more), who get married, Tiger did so because it's the thing to do. Then he realized later maybe it wasn't. Who knows? Either way he doesn't owe me an apology for what he did.

We owe Tiger the apology. And so many other public figures whose sex lives are none of our business. I think this is just sad. Sorry about that, Tiger.

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