This is what I do when I stay home

Since I have been out for the last 4 weekends in a row and since I showed you what it is that I do when I'm not at home, I figured I'd show you a little bit of what goes on here in thrill-a-minute Yangju, Korea. When I'm not watching TV shows I download or pirated movies I buy at Yong San Electronics market I just surf the net, read, think and occasionally mark papers and plan lessons. Mostly everything BUT the last ones.

And once in a while I write here to vent my pointless rage. Today's topic will be one I've touched on briefly before but in keeping with the latest vein of this blog... I got pics!

Last year in Thailand I purchased a few golf shirts. They were so ridiculously cheap and golfing in Thailand was so ridiculously sweaty, I had to buy like about 6. I bought Ping, Taylor Made and Titleist. Nice golf shirts for about 5 bucks apiece. If I remember correctly.

Recently on one of my frequent subway journeys to Seoul I saw a subway salesman hawking headbands and wristbands with NBA logos on them. The funny thing was the package had the NFL logo on it. Since it was so funny, (and since 2 wristbands and 2 headbands were a buck), I bought three packs.

See the NFL label on the NBA gear? Hee hee hee. Don't I look like I could keep the key clear? I'll Danny Ainge your ass you step up into MY house!

Anyways, it's hard for me to get mad at obvious copywright infringement like this because it's often funny, (some of the grammar mistakes are hilarious), and I figure if you are vain, ignorant and brainwashed enough to believe a Ralph Lauren Polo shirt is worth 200 dollars then you DESERVE to be fleeced. A guy sees a customer who is not so smart and has lots of disposable cash and caters to him/her. The Emperor's New Clothes. They are almost heroes. Almost.

Unfortunately, I been to some of the places where they make this knockoff crap and the people who do all the work sewing, bagging, stapling, shipping etc. are making next to nothing. Slave wages is NOT an overstatement. The people who buy 100 golf shirts for 5 bucks each, bring them back to Korea in their luggage, claim they are originals then sell them for 50 bucks each, THOSE are the creeps who are making the profit. And it's not heroic. Although in Korea if you can afford to golf, and need name brand golf shirts to do it in, well maybe you might fall into the not so smart with disposable income category. Golfing is about 200 bucks a round on average here in Korea. And it's like that to keep the riff raff like us off the course. So sure, sell those jerks phony shirts. Make money off their superiority complexes. While you're in Thailand mail another thousand shirts back to Korea and make 50,000. That'll cover your costs, wages and you get a nice trip to Thailand out of it. But the Thai workers really should be paid more.

Anyway, that's not the pointless rage. My pointless rage will be directed toward the Koreans who brought back the headbands and wristbands. And the Chinese businessmen they deal with.

Look at this label for the love of GOD! Do you suppose they got the "expressed written consent" of all the sports leagues to use their logos? No bar code. Interesting. And Made in Korea my ass! You can't make this kind of stuff and sell it for a buck in Korea. Workers here are too expensive. These were made in China. Sold to a scumbag Korean businessman by an even bigger scumbag Chinese businessman. And the price, ($1), is more than the workers will make for a 12 hour shift. And they'll think they're lucky to be working.

Somebody went to America and bought a pair of socks or something that was made by For Bare Feet just so they could copy the label and use the good name for their product. If you look closely you'll see the signiture grammar mistakes that are included on most bad Chinese knockoffs that make them so funny. These are being sold for a dollar, (for a profit!), only because they're bad knockoffs. What would they sell the GOOD knockoffs for?

One of the guys at work told me he bought a Gucci or Chanel or whatever tie for 50 bucks. Another teacher told him that there hasn't been a genuine piece of that kind of clothing in Korea for a couple of years. Imagine how he felt.

I looked at that For Bare Feet website, THAT IS ON THE LABEL OF THE WRIST/HEADBANDS, and went to the history section. I suddenly felt worse about buying them. Some people worked very hard to establish that company.

Then I thought about my last year of work in Korea. I was working for one of these scumbags who make lots of money using the good names people have worked very hard to acquire to sell watered down, cheap, immitation shit to their unsuspecting customers. My degree took a lot of hard work to earn. I have worked for several years honing my teaching skills. The owner of Seojeong College used my sweat and suffering as selling points for his "college" where he just gives away phony diplomas. And he's gotten filthy rich doing so. The program almost doubled this year.

Not only that but if I ever let people know I worked for that shit college whose business is academic fraud I could be turned down for, or even LOSE a job. Likewise when people wear the knockoff sweatbands and they fall apart at halftime of their first basketball game, the people might not want to buy anything else from For Bare Feet again.

But if you close down the whole business then the Chinese workers who made the sweatbands will be the ones to suffer most. Their jobs were crap but better than nothing. And you can't tell the businessmen to pay the workers more. That's the government's job and they're just happy to see all the income the company is providing for the country.

So what do we do? Eat the rich. Not the rich who earned their money. They don't have enough fat and their meat isn't soft and juicy. The people who have taken the fat of the land off the workers and packed it onto their own self-important, priveleged bodies because of their lofty senses of entitlement. MMmmmmmmm sounds delicious doesn't it? Maybe I'll write a cookbook.

Cho Seung Hui

Cho Seung Hui is big news around Korea right now. He’s big news all over. Three things now instead of two that Korea is known for: the war, the ’88 Olympics and the Virginia Tech. Killer. I have no doubt there are plenty of people around here who actually have a little bit of pride that Korea is getting so much world attention. But the pride is mixed with embarrassment that a Korean did such a thing, a healthy dose of shame that comes from their idea that Koreans are all brothers and sisters and it was their “brother” who committed this atrocity, and fear that other Koreans, especially those in the U.S. will be judged based on his actions.
I saw on the Korean news an interview with a Korean chick going to University in America, (not Virginia Tech.), and she was saying how her parents called from Korea and told her she had to quit and come home in case the Americans decided to take revenge. Ridiculous!
However, I got to talking a bit at work with a couple teachers and some Koreans about the whole deal and a T.A. nicknamed Rita, (she’s Korean), brought up an event that happened here in Korea five years ago. Some American soldiers ran over a couple Korean schoolgirls with a tank in Eui Jung Boo. After the U.S. made an apology Koreans were demanding that the two tank pilots be tried in Korean courts and calling it intentional and Korean people were just freely hating other people for the tragedy. The thing is they were racially generous with their hatred. They were hating all Americans and all people who just might be Americans.
I live just down the road from Eui Jung Boo and let me tell you the people there are STILL pissed off at ALL non-Koreans about that. I swear to God the second you cross the border between Yang Ju, where I live, and Eui Jung Boo the asshole meter jumps off the charts. On the rare occasion I go to Eui Jung Boo I ALWAYS have trouble with people. I think they are still avenging the tank tragedy. I told this to Rita and she agreed.
I haven’t had too many run-ins with racism here in Yang Ju. I like it. It’s boring but the people are nice. I DO get the occasional group of kids one of which is trying to impress the others by making the joke that just never gets old here in Korea, saying “hello” to the foreigner and then laughing uproariously when the foreigner politely replies. It’s like tapping on a fish tank and watching the fish speed up for half a second or leaning out a car window and yelling “MOOOOOO” as you go by a field full of cows. Just trying to get an interesting reaction out of a foreign species. And that’s how people from other countries are regarded here in Korea whether secretly or even consciously. This, as I see it, is the lesson to be learned here in Korea from the Cho tragedy.
Now, I know the U.S. of A. isn’t completely free from racism but I have no doubt that Koreans will be treated no differently by Americans because of this incident. Yet the immediate reaction of so many Koreans was WE are so ashamed that one of US did that! WE sure hope that THEY don’t make things difficult for the rest of US.
The average Korean is very similar to other Koreans. Frighteningly so to people like me who come from cultures in which uniqueness is valued and encouraged. Koreans more than any other people are always making VERY sweeping statements about Koreans. And from my experience, and everyone else who’s been here for a while, sweeping statements about Koreans are almost always much more accurate than they would be for most other countries. You can say very accurately something like “Koreans like kimchi.” Or “Koreans work long hours.”
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve been asked by my Korean students if Canadians do this or do that. So many times that in the interest of brevity I’m beginning to just say yeah we do or no we don’t rather than give the whole politically correct answer and mention how everyone is an individual etc. etc. But recent events have made me start questioning ever giving the simple answers to these questions. Because Koreans NEED to know about idividuality and how differences are okay within the same race. They could also use some training on how to see people rather than race.
I’ve been saying for years that because Korea is still technically at war they haven’t been able to start “educating” here yet, they are still “training.” This is one of the end results. They tend to think like a soldier thinks. Soldiers are trained to do what they’re told. They would give their lives for a member of their unit or corps or whatever. A member they don’t even know! They love their fellow soldiers like they love their family members. Koreans are trained to think of other Koreans like this.
I cheer for Canadian athletes in the Olympics. I sing along with my national anthem at hockey games. I support Canada and Canadians in lots of ways just because it’s my country and they are my countrymen. And women. But where does a healthy patriotism turn into unhealthy racism? I would suggest that Koreans cross that point. Most of them anyway, excuse the sweeping statement.
The reaction to the Cho incident has brought this to the fore. And other recent news reflects Korean xenophobia too. It’s hard to say who their favourite target for it is, the U.S. or Japan. But it bothers me reading about Koreans waiting for the Japanese to apologize for wartime mistreatment. I think almost everybody, including me, would like to see all the old surviving soldiers from Japan come to Korea and apologize to the old surviving Korean women who were “comfort women” during Japanese occupation. THAT would have some significance. But getting people who were uninvolved to apologize to people who were uninvolved seems a little too much like “We are all Korean and we hate all of you because you are Japanese so we want you prostrate and humbled before us.” And maybe the Japanese are smart not giving too heartfelt an apology because I don't doubt the Korean reaction would not be satisfaction, rather they would start asking for more revenge like they did in the Eui Jung Boo tank incident. In fact they already HAVE received an apology from Japan AND they have received some reparations in the form of money. If Japan admitted to wrongdoing it might just encourage Koreans to demand mass executions or secessions from land or waters or whatever. And who knows where it would end?
In the coming weeks I sure hope Koreans can see the reaction of Americans, or lack thereof, toward the Koreans in America. I hope they can use it as an ideal for their people to strive for. Because I’ll tell you what, if a Canadian shot up some students at a Korean university I think I’d be getting the hell out of here. Or at least taking my Canadian flag off my backpack for a while.

Some I Tai Won Folks

I post a lot about going to I Tae Won and having fun with folks there but haven't had the foresight to bring a camera and take pics until now. Actually on my birthday I took my cam to get pics of Lance, Meagan, and some of the crew at Stompers, (Dwayne's bar), but as soon as I aimed and pressed the button for my first pic my battery died. So it'll be a little while before I can put pics of them here. However, I went to I Tae Won last night, (Tuesday), to shoot some pool with Mr. Woo and Me Jeong and to pay my tab at Debut. I think I got some good shots of everybody. Except Mr. Woo. Hee hee hee. He doesn't normally look like this. I'll convince him to let me win a few games of pool in exchange for removing this pic from this site.

He's the best pool player I've ever known. Me Jeong, on the other hand, (the WAY other hand), is not known for her pool playing. She's my favourite waitress at Woodstock, (Mr. Woo's bar). She's also one of them models you see posing beside hot cars. I gave her a nickname, "Astrogirl" because she has HUGE, cute eyes like Astroboy. But she doesn't want anyone to hear that nickname. So I'll remove that information from this site if she ever beats me at pool. She almost beat me one time when she was doing sexy poses to distract me while I shot. She's a babe eh? I don't know this other dude. But I took a ton of his money playing Texas hold em with a 500 won minimum bet. But I used the money to buy rounds of shots. So really Mr. Woo won the card playing since most of the money ended up in his till. But I was on fire last night. I am just very lucky at gambling. You know what they say about being unlucky in love and lucky at cards. It's true for me. It probly helped that I was sporting my gambling shirt too.

So after cards and pool at Woodstock I made my way half way up The Hill to Debut. Debut is owned by Polly. She has a few bars I think. Probly a gozillionaire. I just like her. She's super nice. And her rubber gloves are nice too. Heh heh. And my musical soulmate Ha Young was in fine form last night. I think we look good together. She looks amazing in these pictures. Another babe. My future ex-wife. She played good tunes as usual too. I had a few caucasians with Polly and Ha Young and caught the 6 AM subway back home. I got up at the crack of noon, listened to some hockey on nhl.com and wrote this. That is what I do and who I do it with. Well NOT who I "do it" with, although hope springs eternal, but you know what I mean. Geez I look 40 in that hug picture don't I? Beauty and the beast.

Just in case you're wondering, I've taken thousands of pics of Koreans and in more than half of them the people are giving the peace sign. Two fingers. I got into the habit of holding up three fingers just to be different. Or as Koreans would say, "wonkda". I'll try to post more pics. So that'll give me an excuse to go to I Tae Won. Gotta get pics for my blog. Anyway, see you later. Don't forget to post comments. A comment always makes my day.

40

Let's see now, headache - check, empty wallet - check, ringing in ears from loud music - check, girl in bed - dammit, no check. But I DO have a new number on my phone. My music soulmate Ha Young plugged her name into my phone. She also made me a little birthday cake by stacking up five or six Choco Pies and putting 4 long candles in the top one. She's awesome.

So long story short, I had a good 40th birthday. I didn't feel 40 last night. Although I kinda do today. Lance and the band were great as usual. I got my share of birthday drinks. Saw a lot of friends and still managed to make it home from I Tae Won at about 7 AM. All in all a good night. Although I did run out of cash at one point and there were NO bank machines open. Me and Ha Young checked all over the place. But I ended up running up a tab at Debut, the bar where she spins the discs. I wonder how much THAT'll cost me next time I visit. I tend to buy lotsa drinks when I don't see the money changing hands. That's why I have lived for 40 years without a credit card. Don't trust myself with one. I actually remember ringing the bell at Debut last night too. Hmmmmm. Oh well, you only turn 40 once, right? So I'm still on the YOUNG and FOOLISH side of 40. Thank God. I gotta go nurse a hangover and a cold. Think I'll order pizza. See you next time.

Black Day

Today is technically the last day of my thirties. It's April 14th here in Korea, which is what they call "Black Day". Feb. 14th is when girls give guys chocolate; March 14 is "White Day" when guys give girls candy and today is the day when all the losers who got no candy or chocolate mourn by eating black noodles or "jajang myun". It's a black day alright. Lincoln was shot on April 14th. The Titanic sunk mostly on April 14th. The Donner Party set out on their gastronomically significant voyage from Illinois to California. Much of the U.S. and Canada's prime prairie soil was blown away during the Dust Bowl during which the worst day was "Black Sunday", April 14th, 1935. This was what caused a lot of people to "go west, young man." One of Apollo 13's oxygen tanks exploded killing the mission and almost the crew. And I was born.

Since I was born in Canada and it's still April 13th there, I'm STILL not 40 years old. But in a matter of hours I will most likely be better than half way through my life. And that's if I make it to 80. And who really wants to make it to 80? Not this ranchero. I don't want to lose all my teeth; fall and break a hip; eat more medicine than food; stop drinking; be so blind I can't drive; use a walker; start forgetting who people are; blend steak before I can eat it; wear diapers again; or see the day when "The Captain" becomes just a private again. If you know what I'm saying.

It's not every day a guy turns 40. So what should I do to celebrate this auspicious occasion? All the things an octogenarian can't do of course! I should go out, eat a great steak dinner, (maybe a ribeye at 3 Alley Pub), listen to some REALLY loud L.R.D. music, (they're playing again tonight at Stompers), dance a little, drink a lot and maybe get my thirty-something year old ass laid.

What do I want to do? I want to stay home, drink a few glasses of wine, have a cigar, watch a movie or three, maybe stay up late and watch golf on TV and if I'm really lucky, chat with a family member online at 3 AM. I guess that's what happens when you're getting old.

I gotta say, though, I have a cold. I'm not really sure it's a cold. It has all the symptoms of a cold but I usually get the sniffles and a cough and a nice little ear/chest infection during this time of year in Korea because the Chinese sand is in the air. Not quite as bad as the dustbowl pic but I sure notice it and it's irritating. So I've been feeling like crap lately.

Still, is this a good excuse to stay home on my 40th? Foregoing all my birthday freebies and maybe even a birthday lay? I am in a quandry. In about 7 hours L.R.D. begins to play. That is how long I have to decide what to do. I'll let you know in my next entry.

Happy birthday to me.