Monday, February 07, 2011

Freedom from free

I've been pretty much responsibility free for the entire football season having no job, no wife, no kids, no teams, groups or clubs, no volunteer work, no family within a thousand miles and not much of a social calendar to speak of. Life's been dull since the season's opening kickoff. PERFECT! That way I had nothing to distract me from watching as many games as I could through the year. And I did, boy howdy!

I was active in about 5 football pools making trades every week and following my players live. I think the more I watch the games the WORSE I get at those damn pools though. "Chicago will probably beat New England this week because Devon Hester has gone two games without a return for a touchdown and last time he went three was never. Although, Tom Brady DID cut his throwing index finger making a breakfast bagel last Wednesday. He'll have three days to heal but will that be enough? Then again BenJarvis Green Ellis can't possibly handle all those names AND the football. He's overdue for a fumble. But will Cutler be able to capitalize if he fumbles. He's only 1 for 7 this season scoring on drives immediately following fumbles by guys with too many names. As opposed to Brady who jumps all over opponents fumbles. But you can't count on Forte fumbling because hangin on to the ball is, (fake "well"), his Forte! But Tom Brady's answered plenty more than one fumble with scores this season. By the way, that 1 score for Cutler was a 48-yard field goal. And speaking of field goals the forecast calls for heavy winds blowing sideways across Soldier Field and that's gonna hurt BOTH teams." and so on and so on.

I woke up at all hours of the morning all season long and missed only one week of football this season. Only one week when I didn't watch a game. Then came today. Super Bowl Sunday in America, and Super Bowl Monday morning in Korea. I was called for an interview and told it'd be right after the lunar new year holidays, either Monday the 7th or Tuesday the 8th. When I got the email confirming the time and giving me directions to the school I copied it down and was gutted! Monday morning at 10 AM. I had to travel to Daejeon, about a 2-hour trip for me. Absolutely the worst time possible. The Super Bowl was from 8-11. I didn't see even a minute of it.

But here's the fun part: I got to the interview over an hour early. The directions were very easy to follow. I told the receptionist in the office who I was there to see and she called her. I got on the phone and introduced myself and told her I was there for my interview. I didn't know why the receptionist had given me the phone or why she had called the interviewer so I just said, "Don't worry I know I'm early, I will just wait." She was oddly silent but made a sound of agreement. When she finally arrived after I had waited over an hour the first thing she showed me was the interview schedule. I was down for 10 AM alright, THE NEXT DAY!

She says, "You really ARE early!" Man, I felt terrible! I had probably forced her to come to work when she hadn't planned on it. Plus I had needlessly missed the Super Bowl! AARRRGGGGHHHH! And who knows WHAT she's going to think of my organizational skills when I can't even get the date of the interview right! Last thing I need with all the people who have been waving jobs under my nose and then snatching them away at the last second over the past 7 or 8 months. I kinda think I am starting to develop a theory on that too.

But it may have been all for the best. I find I'm saying that a lot these days. You see my computer is old and ready to call it quits. The latest thing to go has been live streams. I can't even watch the Daily Show any more. I get about 3 seconds of it then a 20-second pause, then 2 more seconds and so on. I recently found a website with a whole bunch of documentaries posted in their entirety online and have been O.D.ing on them. But can't watch them any more either. MUCH too slow. Then I tried today to do some maintainence. I did an Adaware spyware scan with my free adware program. Adaware is good. And actually free. For now. I also downloaded about 4 "free" virus scans including norton and even one that was in German. They all told me my computer was infested with bad stuff but wouldn't get rid of it unless I purchased their product at the reasonable price of yadda yadda yadda/shprechen shprechen shprechen. Raise your hand if that's NEVER happened to you.

Then I tried to do a system restore. My computer has had problems but only minor ones and until just recently has been good enough. I figured I'd just restore to a few days ago. I got a message that I can't use my system restore. I checked if it was disabled and it's not. So I'll probably have to haul my computer into Jay's Computer Repair, like I did 6 months ago, and get everything re-installed. That's my computer. It's just old. "OLD" Like 4 years. ANCIENT!

So anyway, I got back from the interview remembering that the last time I turned my computer off it worked extremely well when I started it back up. I hoped for the same result but couldn't even get onto my homepage. Then just for kicks I tried to go to the place where I had watched about half the football I watched this season WITH COMMERCIALS. Check out THIS Big Brother action! Right at Super Bowl time! Spoilsports! Literally.

Now, I've been watching a LOT of documentaries lately so my mind is just awhirl with all the folks, well all the entities, agencies, boards, commissions, brotherhoods, clans, and corporations that I can blame for all my problems. Let's start with Mr. Gates. Oh SURE he's trying to get rid of polio worldwide and has almost succeeded, but I know he's just doing that to maintain a healthy market for his made-to-break Microsoft products. He's not the first. Why do you think electric cars didn't work? Not just because oil companies were going to take a hit but because they were too well built. Very low maintainence. Repairmen, garages, dealerships woulda lost millions! They were marketed poorly, on purpose, and STILL caught on. You had to go through intense interrogation to qualify to get one and you couldn't buy it! You had to lease it. Then when they started getting just a bit too good, they were all rounded up and crushed.

I bet if somebody made computer parts that don't get old or deteriorate, THEY would all be recalled and crushed too! Wouldn't they? You KNOW they would! Don't try to fool us with that schoolboy charm, Gates. You and your disease-fighting, Skull and Bones belonging, New World Order, Free Mason, Illuminati, Bilderberg team aren't pulling the wool over MY eyes. And even if you got rid of cancer, AIDS and mosquitoes, I still wouldn't... well hang on. Then, I, uh, er... Well he hasn't done that, has he?

And who's to say these new parts are any better? They're probably just like pharmaceuticals. Zoloft, Viagra, the purple pill. They have generic brands that are exactly the same and 10X cheaper. But you can't buy generic computer parts yet can you? Well, I dunno, maybe you can but I'm sure Bill doesn't want us to.

It's all a conspiracy. They're all against us. We must be vigilant! And what about sharing stuff online. Well, SHARING just isn't something we're supposed to do in the capitalist world, is it? NOOOooo! I get a grainy, herky-jerky picture that I have to sit far enough away from to get a first down before I can make out what's happening. My picture times out once a quarter, usually when it's 4th and goal or during a close in cheerleader shot. I have audio that sounds like John Madden and Frank Gifford are underneath an overturned bathtub and I get ALL of the beer, pizza, burger, car, video game, movie and snack commercials that make me crave stuff I CAN'T GET over here! But the NFL wants me to PAY for that!

Or maybe they just want a credit card transaction from me so they can keep closer tabs on what I buy, where I am and what I'm wearing when I watch the games. Who's to say your government doesn't put a little tiny cam in your monitor. Why do you think it's CALLED a monitor. It's monitoring YOU! You KNOW it's possible! And if you ever want to expose the people who installed all this Big Brother surveillance equipment inside your computers, they'll dredge up some pretty incriminating footage of the last time you were all alone in your room surfing pinkbunnynose.com.

Why, I wouldn't be surprised if they're montoring this blog entry right now. It may appear differently than originally written. And maybe, just maybe, writing THIS kind of stuff is the reason I'm such a fantastic teacher and I can't find a job teaching over here even in a FAKE school! Eerie isn't it? Did you hear that? And why was it that just a few days after finding this site where all this information is just tantalizingly available my computer myseriously goes on the blink. They now KNOW I'll be going to Jay's to get it fixed and they'll give him some extras to put into my old computer to surveil me. I gotta get underground. Soldier on readers! Stay the course. Even when I'm gone. My next entry might be made from a cave.

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