Something Fishy Going On

Ever feel like something just ain't quite right? Something that is just believed and never questioned could be wrong? Or maybe that something NOT believed might be right? The other day a lifetime of zodiacal skepticism was justified and verified by science. I don't mean that I was skeptical about the whole thing! We all know how helpful horoscopes and astrological personality predictions are! Especially when meeting new people at the bar. I mean I just didn't feel much like an Aries. There were a few things in the Aries personality profile that I felt were accurate for me but not many.

Aries, according to the babble.com food section, are adventurous and energetic. Hello? I've been doing NOTHING for 6 months! And their zodiacal food would be walnut trail bars to pack along on adventures. Yuck!

But I look at Pisces who are compassionate and kind and might bake chocolate chip cookies or brownies for the ones they love. I DO that! And while my chocolate chip cookies may have a few chopped up walnuts in them, they are so much better than walnut trail bars.

Astrological discrepencies such as this have been haunting me my whole life! I was born on April 14th making me a member of the first zodiacal sign: Aries. Apparently Aries mentality is very often, "Me first!" I don't want to be and am just not like that! Jefferson, (Apr. 13),and Da Vinci, (Apr. 15), are a couple of the curious, energetic movers and shakers always delving into new areas that personify the Aries. And when an Aries is "on the cusp" of Taurus they can have very powerful personalities gone bad. For example Adolph Hitler!!!, (Apr. 20). Aries are sometimes referred to as "Arians!" Who WOULD want to be an Aries?!?

On the other hand, Aries ARE forthcoming and direct. No ulterior motives or hidden agandas. I'm brutally honest and it sometimes gets me into trouble. It's one of the hardest things about living in Asian societies where lying is preferred and expected in so many social scenarios. Aries tend to get bored easily leaving lots of unfinished projects in their wake. If I could finish HALF of the stories I've started writing I'd be Stephen King! And Aries are opinionated. It's my opinion that I fall into that category too.

However, they are territorial about possessions, very competitive and hate to lose. Survey says, NAAAHHHH! I don't know how many times I've railed on about how people have gone overboard with their passion for property. "I belong to you. And you belong to me too." That's supposed to be a romantic line in a Lenny Kravitz song. I happen to think it's psychotic. (good tunage though) And although I absolutely LOVE sports and winning, I have tried to share that feeling with others more times than I can count by playing a bit below my best so that I am easier to beat. I enjoy putting up stiff competition but allowing the other player to win. It makes them feel great and THAT makes me feel almost as good as them. How Ariesish does THAT sound?

Many Aries are self-employed or managers and foremen. They enjoy having authori-TAH over other people. I have been asked many times to be camp supervisor, head teacher etc. and just don't want, (or need), people to respect my authori-TANH! Suggested jobs for Arians are military, politics, driving or outside sales. I would plain SUCK at every one of those careers!

Aries are supposed to be more intellectual than spiritual. Here again it's not true. Although, my spirituality IS quite a bit more intellectual than some. I like to study and intellectualize about spiritual matters regardless of religion. "Rafah Ramah Karuna, Agape Prema Tzedakah, First or last or in between, the love you show is the love that has been seen. Love. We got love. Yeah we got love, and that is all we need." This is a line from a song I recently, uh, wrote. It's sung to the tune of "I Got You Babe" because it's simple and I can play it on my harmonica. But anyway, not very Aries-like.

And an Aries won't marry unless he can wear the pants in the relationship. This in large part has been the problem with my Asian girlfriends. I don't want to wear the pants. I don't want to own a woman. I don't want to beat her "passionately" to make her love me, (and respect my authori-tanh).

BUT, thanks to the wobbling of the Earths axis, and some sagacious astrologers, I am now a Pisces! Let's see what mysticalblaze.com says about Pisces, shall we?

Pisces, being the last zodiacal sign, are patient. Almost 15 years of teaching. Nuff said. They are perceptive, spiritual, imaginitive and consider the feelings of others. Some famous Pisces are Michelangelo, (sculpted David), Einstein, (said, "Imagination is more important than intelligence."), and Dr. Seuss, (does not like green eggs and ham). We have so much in common!

Pisces are often thought of as scatterbrained and messy but experts know that these are not our dominant traits. Sure my desk, bedroom, house, truck ARE messy but I know where exactly everything is. Pisces are regal, compassionate, reliable and if pisces weren't so tactful we might brag about it. They often appear to be workaholics. They work hard and do a great job not to gain material possessions but because they believe through their work they are helping people and doing good. You can go to the next entry in this blog to find examples of this in my life. Just scroll down. Money and stuff we buy with it are means to an end, not our goal. My employers never understand my priorities. I've even offered to work for free.

But hold on now... Pisces are devoted parents and spouses who are very understanding and NEVER COMPLAIN. Not a parent, not a spouse and I am an EXPERT complainer! I've said before that if I had a job as suntan lotion applyer at the Playboy Mansion I'd find something to complain about. In Pisces not complaining causes them to internalize their feelings and that can lead to excessive alcohol and drug use. Both Oscare Wilde and I agree that too much of anything is bad for you, especially moderation. I've been known to pop a cork but afterwards anything, though there is never much, that had been internalized till then comes out dragging all my stress behind it. But all of this might change if I were a parent and spouse.

Pisces are passive and agreeable. You don't believe me? Okay, maybe they're not. You're right. These traits make them easy targets for bullies. Hey, I had an entire class of bullies for 2 or 3 years. I had one or two good friends, my brothers, the family dogs and my imagination. And I was fine! This is textbook Pisces. Maybe I was a bit of a loner but I had a cheerful, if unusual, outlook on life even though everyone at school treated me like shit.

Pisces need to be needed. I haven't found a wife who needs me yet. We have the intellect to excel but don't want to be leaders. I could run my own English camp or even a school but I just want to teach. Pisces have home-based hobbies. You're reading one of mine. They are easy going friends who are creative, caring and will surprise with witty and deep insights. To all my friends remember this: You are absolutely unique. Just like everyone else. Lazy at times but when motivated will be energetic. That's me. When angered can hurt with words. I surprise mySELF sometimes how I can hit a person right in the weak spot just with words. This may be because of the incredible sensitivity and understanding pisces have of other people's feelings.

It all makes sense now! When I was young I was an Aries. Now I've gone through a kind of zodiacal reverse evolution from a ram to a fish. I wish, like the picture at the top, to keep my horns, however becuase they will prove most useful in my new home beneath the water. But I suppose I won't be needing my lungs, wool, or legs any more. So I will maintain a few Aries characteristics but for the most part I'm now a fish.

As for which horoscope to read, I think I'll just read both and choose the best one.