I LOVE Survivor. It is one of my favourite shows of all time. If it were only animated! Dang! But seriously, it is not animated because it features real life. I know reality TV is to reality what Life cereal is to life but I like watching these folks who are usually "even better than the real thing", and in situations that are anything BUT normal because in every season there is a lot of real life. The show's creator, Mark Burnett prefers to think of it as "unscripted drama." It's not what these people would normally do since they are watched by millions. I'm sure there would be more fighting, swearing, and getting it on if they weren't. Probably even MORE lying, cheating and stealing too! But it's watered down life that I enjoy watching as a bit of a guilty pleasure.
Considering I've been in Korea, a foreign land where I can't eat what I want, can't do what I want, don't have a lot of the comforts of home, am forced to act nicely to a lot of people I don't care for, am in constant competition with other people who want the same money I want, am forced to sometimes make alliances with people I do and don't like, have watched lots of my friends go home and leave me on the peninsula, and for me and just about everyone else here, it's all about the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, I reckon I've been playing Survivor for 10 years. But I'd prefer the TV show to my version of it.
On the other hand, there are some things that consistently bug me about the show. A lot of them are probably because the participants can only be Americans, and not being American, some of the things they do boggle my mind! There'd probably be some of the same things and some different if there were a Canadian Survivor. Although the first prize would likely be an Amana Radar Range or a Brother Sewing Machine. Ha ha ha. Canadian game shows! So cheap! Anyhoo, here is my list of things that bug me about Survivor.
10. I like Jeff Probst. He's a good host and although a lot of his questions are most likely written for him by sociologists or whatever, I've seen him do some pretty good thinking on his feet. However, he has a speech impediment! How does a guy get the best job in the world, most of it requiring speech when he can NOT say "skull" or "ultimate" or "ultra". Skoal, oltimate, oltra. I think it was Survivor 12 in Panama when they had an Exile Island named Skull Island and the challenges often had skull themes, I nearly muted the show a few times. I kept getting an odd urge for a pinch of chewing tobacco between my cheek and gums. (Skoal) And it usually bugs me when he says the most often heard redundancy in TV, "Once again, immunity is one more time, back, again, up for grabs another time." Okay I added some but saying immunity is once again back up for grabs is like saying AM in the morning or basic fundamentals or honest truth or round circle, or soda pop or any of several that bugged people so much THIS list was made. I know it's a small thing but it's number 10.
9. During the final episodes called the reunion episodes where the people gather to read the votes and see who wins the million bucks, everybody, and I mean EVERYBODY is wearing WAY too much make-up. And it's not just because we're used to seeing them in their natural states. Survivor is never going to win any awards for make-up if there are any in TV. I know they have Academy Awards for make-up artists. Even the dudes get plastered with product. Sometimes it's so bad it looks like they used Homer Simpson's make-up gun! I think the worst two examples ever were Ozzie, who shoulda WON Survivor Cook Islands, (DAMMIT!), and Steph, ALL THREE times she was on! She is PLENTY hot enough without make-up!
8. There has never been a Survivor in which people weren't constantly talking about how they need protein or food energy to perform well in challenges, yet, aside from Survivor 14 in Fiji where it was survival vs. THRIVAL, and the team with all the luxuries like food won every challenge, I am POSITIVE, (and I've seen 'em all), that the hungry tribes have won more than their share of challenges. The survivors who go on reward challenges that include meals just don't have the killer instinct they might if they weren't recently full to satiety. This is why athletes NEVER eat before games. Fighters have been known to starve themselves in other ways, if you know what I'm saying. No nookie turns a pugilist into a murderer who might bite off your ear or threaten to eat your children.
7. I absolutely hate watching the episodes where the survivors get letters from home or relatives visiting the island or whatever. Almost EVERYBODY cries. When somebody DOESN'T cry, I am usually a much bigger fan of theirs. It's a month, probably less, away from your family. Survivor lasts 39 days and it's usually before day 30 that they have these episodes. Who among the survivors has never WISHED for a month away from their families? I always wonder if they're not just playing it up to get some sort of sympathy votes or to look sensative in the eyes of the viewing audience. For a wife or husband or especially a kid I could understand a bit more but it happens with Moms, Dads, friends, I think some of the survivors would have cried in the arms of locals that were hired because Survivor couldn't track down any loved ones. Do average American families see their Moms and Dads every month? Every single month? And if it's longer than that do they blubber and wimper like Lucille Ball when they meet? I guess this is part of that UNreality the cameras add. If it's not, it sure gives me doubts about the intestinal fortitude of the average American! If I want waterworks I'll watch the Biggest Loser. I wish they'd lose these episodes, but millions disagree. I dunno. I don't get it.
6. This one is one I'm usually entertained by, but in principal it bugs me. It's those sore losers on the jury who lambaste the final two or three for lying, cheating, stealing, breaking promises and doing immoral things, BETTER or SOONER than they did. I find that people who play honest games are almost always proud of the way they played and the fact that they can sleep well at night is reward enough for them. It HAS to be cuz let's face it, they never win! The ones who make fools of themselves reading the riot act to the people who make it all the way to final tribal council are almost always people who either failed at the deceit game or didn't get a chance to employ it. I think this is A LOT like life. Probably the best example is Sue from Survivor 1 and All Stars who went ballistic on both shows.
5. There is almost always some loser at the very end who did absolutely nothing while people were falling like dominoes around, (usually), her. Someone who is useless in challenges, has no charisma, did little or no game playing or manipulating, is lacking in social skills, intelligence, athleticism and even sometimes work ethic, but made some very fortunate alliance early in the game with a powerhouse player or two who keeps, (for the most part), her around because she'll be easy to beat in the final two or three. Then when the jury criticizes her for all that she says, "I must have played the game better than you since I'm here and you're on the jury." Even Probst has said it a few times! I suppose Sue would qualify from Survivor 1. Tina won Survivor 2 because of Colby. Was voted off first in All Stars. Kim from Survivor Africa rode coattails all the way as Big Tom said. Then Survivor 4 the final TWO were people who fit the category. One coattail rider and one who flip flopped any time people came to her with a new alliance. She never proposed an alliance, never worked, naver really made friends, was terrible in challenges but because of a purple rock she got a mil. Danielle and Arse, (Aras) were a useless final two and stole the game from one of the best ever survivors: Terry. Actually, no, Arse was pretty good. Just an arse. I could go on and on... But here again Survivor is very much like life. And we'll go to number 4 for the next one...
4. The person who deserves to win almost never does. In fact the person who wins almost never deserves to. I'll give you a list that I think would be very well accepted as the people who were the smartest/most athletic/best social players/hardest workers and had a winning combinations of assets that SHOULD have won them the game. 1. Greg (9th), 2. Colby (2nd), 3. Tom (4th)though I think Ethan deserved the win, 4. Hunter (13th), 5. Brian (1st time!), 6. Matthew (2nd) 7. Rupert (6th), 8. Lex (9th), 9. Sarge (9th), 10. Tom (2nd and last time!), 11. Steph (2nd), 12. Terry (3rd), 13. Ozzy (2nd), 14. Yau Man (4th), 15. Chicken (lol okay maybe some would disagree with this), and so on. This year it'll probably be the same. But that's life.
3. As in life when people say stupid things to reason away the travesty of the inept rising to power and wealth while the worthy get shafted such as, "It's just business," "Don't take it personally," "Just trying to feed my family," or other such crap, Survivor has its own version: "It's a game!" Hey, it's NOT a game! There's a million dollars PLUS on the line. Nothing could be farther from the truth. These guys are all playing for endorsement deals, public appearances, vehicles, the easy life. It's not a game. People just say that when they've realized they don't deserve to win as much as someone else so they lied, cheated or stole. Once again, just like life! The greatest example of this was when the appropriately named Dreamz made a deal with Yao Man that in exchange for about a 60,000 dollar vehicle, if he won immunity for the final 4, he'd give it to Yao Man. Dreamz had that same money sickness that causes businessmen/women to say, "It's just business." He somehow DREAMED that after shafting the most deserving guy in the game he'd get even ONE vote from the jury. Of course he didn't and has been lying his ass off ever since saying it was his "game" strategy. I call BS because he wouldn't have sworn to God right away when Yao Man proposed the deal OR talked about how proud his kid would be of him when he turned over immunity to YM. He was only talking to the camera when he said that so it absolutely COULD NOT have been strategy. Was it his strategy to lie to the viewing audience? Dangle money in front of some people and just sit back and watch the show. A million bucks makes for some real entertainment!
2. I absolutely hate it when people ally based on sex. For the men it's a bit more understandable because they are better suited for a lot of the challenges. But the WOMAN POWER alliances really bug me. This is one of the big reasons why we end up with so many duds at the end of a lot of seasons. But even worse I hate when the races hook up. For a long time if there were two black people on Survivor, you could bank on them hooking up. Even the one time when Ghandia accused Ted of sexual harrassment, they were a brothah/sistah alliance beforehand. The most obvious example to me would be the alliance of Yul and Becky the two Koreans. They were talking about how they had such a "strong bond" from like day 2? Two things have caused that kind of "bond" in the history of Survivor: A rockin' bod and racism. And since they were very clear about not ever thinking of each other in those terms after the season ended, I think we know what it was that brought them together. And knowing Koreans and the way they feel about the importance of blood, how they have special words for racist ideas in Korean like "jeong" the special love only Koreans can share, it's a no-brainer. Quite fitting that a racist-based alliance won the season where the tribes were initially separated by race.
1. The thing I hate worst about Survivor is what I call the "blah blahs." These are those people who say stuff like, "If I put my mind to it I can blah blah blah." "I believe that there's nothing I can't do if blah blah blah." And so on. These hyperpositive and hyperconfident people almost NEVER turn out to be even close to as good or fast or socially adept or funny as they claim in their hooray-for-me, self-congratulatory back slapping. And Americans have never been accused of having too LITTLE confidence in themselves. Watching this Dunning/Kruger effect and witnessing the absolute crash and burn failure of its sufferers is almost as sweet as watching the truly good players win. I'm not actually sure which I like better. This Dunning/Kruger effect is only theory but that's why it's so fun to watch. It really looks to be evident. It's basically when someone has an illusion that they are really good when in fact they suck. But the same delusionary thinking that makes them think they're good at something is what keeps them from realizing they suck. They also judge others to be of similar judgement and ability to them. It also works in reverse with the great players. They usually underestimate their abilities and overestimate the abilities of others to be about on par with their own. Probably the best example of the former was Rocky. He won exactly nothing but if you asked him about his performance on Survivor he'd probably tell you he was dominant. And almost every season you'll have people who compare themselves in their profiles to past survivors. Like I'm as devious as Russel or as funny as Tyson. They're usually nothing close. Of course it doesn't work for everybody! Russel thought he was the smartest guy alive and it was sweet to see him proven wrong. Tyson was absolutely in love with himself too. Then there's Boston Rob. But they weren't blah blahs. They had some game to back up their cocky talk so I dislike them slightly less. But the thing I like the least is also the thing I like the most. Guys like Ozzy, Tom, Rupert, Rodger, Paschal, Ethan, Greg, Hunter, and QB Gary had the positive D/K effect. So did girls like Steph, Amanda, Danni, Kathy, Sandra, Helen, Elisabeth, Colleen. But I'm not talking about the things I like best about Survivor. The blah blahs make it tedious sometimes. Especially when watching alone and I can't slag them to someone else. Oh I still do but there's nobody around to hear me. Maybe I need a dog.
Anyhoo, that's what's got me typing this time. Nothing much happening since last entry. See ya next time.
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