Here's something weird about me: when I'm ready to quit a job I know subconsciously before I know it consciously. I'll splain what I mean. I've quit several jobs teaching here in Korea. I don't recall ever missing a day with legitimate sickness, but when I'm getting to the end of a contract with a crappy school before I decide that I won't be re-signing I'll go out drinking on a Wednesday night when I have class at 8 Thursday morning. Or something like that that I almost never do. And I'll fake like I have the flu or something when I call in sick Thursday. Before going out I don't intend to miss the classes Thursday; I don't even intend to go out drinking on the Wednesday; these things just happen and they're brought on by a subconscious awareness that my job sucks and I just don't care about it any more.

Also, I find myself dreaming about the job, whatever it may be. So not only do I go to work for my regular shift, I work another 8 hours in my sleep. It's like I'm working all the time. And that ain't cool! This was the worst with drilling and KFC. I was drilling every night in my sleep while I was a driller and breading chicken in my sleep when I was a cook at KFC. I wonder if my arms were doing the motions. heh heh.

I had a fantastic weekend! Friday I went to the Tigers game and I also went on Saturday and Sunday. I walked there and back all three times so I got lots of exercise and I only drank beer at the Sunday game. A LOT of beer! Then I went out to drink some more. By myself. I hooked up with the usual bar crowd in downtown Gwangju but I really didn't go out with anyone. I teach at 2 PM on Mondays so it's not like I have to get to bed early but I've never gone out drinking on a Sunday night until yesterday. And it was the right choice.

I think my subconscious was trying to tell me something because lo and behold when I got back to the dorms the back door was locked. I've lost count how many times I've been locked out but this was probably the fifteenth time. I thought I had solved the problem when my supervisor finally relented and got me a key for the doorknob lock on the back door. I have the deadbolt key but 15 times or so one of the Idon'tcaretakers has locked the doorknob lock so I can't get in. Last night was the first time in a long time I got locked out. The doorknob had been changed! The new knob had no keyhole at all! But it still locked from the inside. And last night it was locked. I started reefing on the doors trying to open them and one of the caretakers woke up and let me in. I blasted him, (and it probably wasn't even his fault), for changing the doorknob then went to bed.

I didn't feel too great in the morning but I was okay to work. I could have gone in no problem at all. But I chose not to. I figured management would notice my absence and then I'd tell them that either we fix the doorknob problem once and for all or I'm outta here. I was almost giddy with excitement at finally getting the park out of this dump! I was even thinking that maybe if they DID change the knob, appologize, fire the asshole who's been locking me out and everything I'd STILL get the park out of here. I waited and waited. Erin called and told me some of my students asked her about me so I told her what I was doing. She just told them class was cancelled. Then I waited some more.

I decided to go out and check the doorknob just for kicks. I saw some round pieces of that blue plastic lining paper you get on stainless steel stuff that's new but the new doorknob was gone. The old one with the keyhole had returned. I figured that maybe the caretaker I blasted the night before changed the knob back.

I was pretty sure news of my strike had not been the cause for the knob switchback. Normally I think I still would have given management a piece of my mind about the slap in the face the new doorknob was. But since the problem was solved, (for now), I decided I'd just try to avoid the confrontation and stress that would be involved in yet another attempt at talking sense into the management here. So when my supervisor Peter called I did the Korean thing: I lied. I said I got too much sun the day before and had sunstroke. He told me he'd have to report it to Director Park, that I should have informed the head of the department and that it better not happen again. I didn't bother to bring up the fact that nobody informs me of anything. I had a deaf girl in my class for 6 teaching hours before I was informed about it! Exam schedules I find out from my students. Anyway, I just said, "Yeah yeah yeah, whatever. Bye."

I am obviously subconsciously just calling it in at this job now. Living for the bell. I'm done trying to make things better here. I'm gonna get out. At least that's what it seems like. I'm just tired of fighting. These guys. I know it'll be new fights anywhere else I work but at least I'll have better pay and accomodations. And I doubt I'll ever get locked out. Probly be able to shower or wash my dishes any time I want too. I may have to work a few extra hours a week and I may lose a few weeks of vacation time but I think my conscious mind is starting to come to grips with the fact that 3 years here is my limit.

So I guess I should start looking for work. I absolutely hate moving and sending out resumes and doing the immigration hula hoop jumps but I think I'll probably quit my job at Seokang even if they want me to come back. That's what my subconscious seems to be telling me. I am reminded of the old Fleetwood Mac song that says, "When the rain washes you clean you'll know." I think I know. If I start teaching in my sleep I'll know for sure it's time to go.

I added this later: The next night I had a dream in which I was teaching.