Saturday, March 27, 2010

The early worm gets eaten

It's 6:30 Sunday morning as I type this. That's AM. I know it's hard to believe but here we are. I'm a guy who doesn't get out of bed at 6:30 unless there's work, golf or fishing involved. Or unless I can't sleep. For my whole life that's never been a problem. Until now. And although there are things about the job I have right now that make it so sweet I really shouldn't complain about it at all, IT'S 6:30 in the friggin' mornin'!!! I'm grumpy, so here I go:

The early bird, it's often said, gets its reward when it is fed.
It's meant to get you out of bed; lift your spirits; clear your head.
It works just fine for farmers' toil. Cooler air and softer soil.
I favour the comedic foil. This saying sets my blood aboil.
What's in it for the lowly worm? I cannot fly but I can squirm.
So speaking in poetic term, I'm less a bird and more a worm.

I thank you.

I was up yesterday at 6:30 too! This is just crazy! It has to do with many things. Students in the dorm are the first reason. Out in the courtyard they sometimes raise such a clatter that I spring from my bed to see what's the matter. Two days ago when I did that I was spotted and then I had half a dozen students asking me through my window to please let them in. I reckon it was about 3 or 4 in the morning. So I have a choice: I can reveal to them that I have a key to the back door and CAN let them in but then they'll be all the more likely to come a knockin' on my window in the future. Or I can tell them the truth, that I really can't open the main doors for them. Then they'll just sit at the picnic tables and continue drinking soju, smoking and making racket enough to keep EVERYBODY awake. So what did I do? I let them in.

I didn't hear them making any racket in their rooms. They probably saved their soju for another time and went right to bed that night. But it'll probably come back to bite me in the ass. In fact just a short time ago today when it was still dark outside and I was trying to ignore the noise and get back to sleep I could have sworn I heard someone out there say, "Dae ee beet." That's me. David. The cat's out the bag! I'm in trouble folks.

But it's not only the students keeping me awake. The room I have is as dusty as Dead Man's Gulch in a sandstorm. I don't know how it happens. Last vacation I stayed away for a month and came back to a room that was so dusty it killed my computer AND my printer. I had my windows and door closed. How does this happen?

And breathing in all this dust does me no good. It makes for some pretty clogged sinuses. I've taken to rubbing Vicks Vapo Rub under my nose before going to bed but that's only a temporary solution. The clogged sinuses just make my snoring worse. And some days, like today, I find myself dosing off only to wake myself up with the first snore. Then going back to sleep again to be instantly awakened again. I don't need to tell you how frustrating that can be.

I find that by midweek I'm exhausted enough that I can get a good night's sleep. But then comes Thursday, the only day I have to get up early. On Thursday it would be helpful to get up at 6:30. But, of course, that's the day I can't seem to do it.

Oh well, on the bright side I'm up early enough today to wash my dishes in warm water and take a hot shower. We get hot water from about 7:30 to 9 am and pm.

But as long as I'm complaining I should bring up the latest here. I have a girl in one of my Thursday classes that has told management she's deaf. I say it that way because I'm still not convinced she is. But that doesn't matter, management IS convinced. So what does that say about the standards of this place? They will admit a deaf girl into a program that has a mandatory conversation class! She should have been put in another program or given special exempt status. Well, it's been the practice of the management since I've been here to just take the money from every customer and let the teacher, (now teacherS), deal with the fallout. That's why I say my main duty is to pick up the ball every time management drops it. On my facebook profile I describe my job as "Catcher in the rice."

I told somebody I was chatting with the other day that the deaf girl didn't show up to my last class. Probably because she was noticing a pretty big gap in communication ability between herself and my other students and she just couldn't deal with their ineptitude. I'm only kidding there a little bit. My Thursday classes are all from the Hotel Management Cullinary Arts program. They're all nice but smart as sacks of hammers. I didn't think it would ever be necessary but I find a need to dumb down my already dumbed down lessons. And of course it doesn't help that all three of the classes are 45 kids in a small room for two hours.

They all have at least 10 years of English training from public school and hagwans and they've all miraculously come out of that all but unscathed by any foreign tongue. Only to land in a class where they don't even have a teacher who can communicate in Korean or give them the answers to their tests! It's gotta be a hellish experience for them! Poor souls.

But like always I've pinpointed a few students from each class who are following along and actually learning. They'll keep me sane through the semester. And I know there's an expensive, (but awesome), trip to Canada waiting to happen in the long summer break that'll more than likely bolster my constitution for the next year I teach here. If I get re-signed, that is.

Oh and also the Kia Tigers will have their home opener on Tuesday. I've already made plans to go with about 6 or 7 other folks to that.

My struggle and my coping mechanisms. And on and on it goes.

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