June 29 - Crystal Bay A&B 93/44 I got to town June 27, the night of a big golf tourney put on by the Fairway, a bar owned by my friend Gord. That's where I stayed and that's the bar that I golfed out of while there. The next day I went to the driving range and balls were flying everywhere. I sucked. My first day of golf had to be the next day. We went to Crystal Bay. Never golfed there before and it had been two years since I even touched a club apart from that nightmare at the driving range. I DID AWESOME!!! I shot 93 and that included a birdie on my third hole; 5 pars and on the back nine I got three pars in a row! I got a 43 only because I got a triple bogey on number 10. All other holes were par or bog. Needless to say with a 44 stableford I kicked everybody's ass that day in the competition! Almost everybody was worried about the new bandit. I played with Ken, Andy and Owen. Ken-Brit, Andy-American, Owen-Aussie. That's Ken in the cart and Owen writing on his scorecard. The other guy is Andy. In the pic to the right that's my caddy. She was great! I'm sure she saved me like 10 strokes. And she was fun to shoot a round with. Makes a BIG difference to me if I have a fun caddy.
July 2 - Bangpra (Monkey Course) 104 I came back to earth on the Monkey Course. Never golfed very well there. It was my third time including once in a Texas scramble where the other guys wanted my long drives and I drove like a girl's blouse. Didn't do terrible but Larry heard about my drives and wanted to see how I got such a good score the time before. He didn't see too many good drives or good holes. He ended up beating me but I got 3rd. And we only saw one monkey all day long. You can see Andy and Paul and everybody's caddies in the pic. The caddies dressed like ajumas.
July 3 - Crystal Bay B&C 106 That's what it says on the website that figures my handicap but I am pretty sure we golfed Khao Kheow this day. I think I played with Gord and Ken. Ken won. I got 3rd again.
July 6 - Century Chonburi 109 I was getting progressively worse. Not to mention all the golfing and practicing had led to cramping in my lower back. Just had to be at its worst on this day! I played with a pro named Scott and a REALLY good old golfer named Tom. It started raining just after me and Scott teed off. So we all made a break for the clubhouse but didn't make it there till everything was soaked. After we got back out, (and I was even with the pro after parring hole number 1), it rained again as we were teeing off on number 2. Scott was fun to watch. He didn't fare well in the sand because on this course the sand was more like gravel. I absolutely sucked mishitting almost everything but tee shots. Scott got two tap-in birdies but Tom ended up winning the thing. I was just glad to stop. I'm not gonna use the pain as an excuse but it didn't help. In the pic are Scott (l) and Tom (r).
July 9 - Phoenix L & O 102/32 It was good to see Phoenix again. The course I had golfed more than any other in Pattaya. I think this was my fifth time or so. I played with Tony and his big friend Roy. Roy was hilarious. Not good, but hilarious. He was looking for his ball in some shrubbery and got stung by a bee. Ha ha ha. Had a terrible day but he was still happy to be golfing. You gotta like guys like that. Today was my day to get off the shnide and like a Phoenix rise from the ashes of my recent golfing disasters. And I did. I think I coulda topped my first round IF I could have made even one good putt all day long. I got 18 and 14 Stableford on the front and back nines respectively. I could have been well into the 40's if I didn't putt like an asshole. To give you an idea on the last 5 holes 4 putt, 4 putt, 3 putt, 3 putt, 3 putt. Absolute bollocks! Aaron got 34 and beat me but I went out and practiced putting after THAT round. Here's me with the Buddha mountain in the background. You have to click on that pic and zoom to see the golden Buddha carved into the mountain. And the other pic is me trying to get Buddha's help. Buddha doesn't do putting. That's my conclusion. Actually there's a better shot of the Buddha mountain below. Come to think of it I was starting to look a lot like Buddha by this point in the vacation. Golfing wasn't helping my figure much.
July 10 - Bang Pakong 102 I did Walking Street the night before. I was hungover and only managed to get a couple hours of sleep the night before. But that's not enough to stop me! Never golfed Bang Pakong before. It was far away from Pattaya and in my opinion not worth the drive. I actually came close to puking on the drive there. And once we got there although I was golfing okay I had a LOT of trouble with the rough there. It's like muskeg. It sucks up your ball. And even if you miss the green by an inch you can have a completely covered ball for your next shot. I didn't have any solution to the grass. It reached out and yanked your club one way or another. And I managed to have several pretty good shots that ended up DEEP in that grass. Only 5 people came out so we golfed together. Scott, Larry, Paul, Jenny and me. It was a really good day. I managed to get a couple birdies and a couple pars on holes where I avoided that grass. And everybody was putting well including me. Some long putts were sunk. Scott got all the closest to the pins and Larry won the day. Jenny got a par on the final hole. It was her first par on a par 5.
July 13 - Green Valley 102 I just can't seem to get anything but 102! Phenomenal! But after this day Green Valley became my favourite golf course in the Pattaya area. What a pleasure it was to golf such a nice course! Unfortunately I had about the worst caddy on the face of the earth! She was very cute but she was a big sourpuss. Always hanging her head. And she wouldn't give me any clues about what hazards the hole had or which way the greens broke. Cost me many strokes. But it was a good day on a great course.
July 15 - Pleasant Valley 97 This course is under some pretty heavy construction! And it's VERY tight. On some holes you will be teeing off and you can hear the conversation of guys on the green to your left and on another tee to your right. It was target golf. Not my forte! On the third hole I hit my first ball into the water on the left, my second out of bounds on the right and my third out of bounds again. So I was a spectator for that hole. It's so tough a lot of people call it UNpleasant Valley. BUT, I had a really good day. Not spectacular but very steady.
July 16 - Plutaluang 102 Back to my usual score. For the life of me I can't remember anything about this course. Ahhhh, now I remember because of the pic. This course I know better as Thai Navy. I've played it a few times but never played the famous lighthouse hole till this day. Here's a view from where you get the carts. And the other pic is the dreaded lighthouse island par 3. It's REALLY tough to hold the green on this hole! The pic on the bottom is my caddy going to mark my ball. The guys I was golfing with had already been in the water twice each. I got closest to the pin and parred the hole thank you very much. If you click on the pic to blow it up you can see my ball AND the marker on the green. We play closest to the pin in TWO shots so I had one more shot to beat that mark. I think I put it a couple feet from the hole and then made that putt for par.
July 17 - Pleasant Valley 99 I had been put in charge of the golf by Gord. He had to stay at the bar to take care of some business so he gave me the card that had several stamps on it. Each stamp was a green fee but with the card we saved money on the green fees. The girl at the course didn't give the card back to me and I didn't ask her for it back. So I had to hunt around for a golf society playing Pleasant Valley. I went out with the Bunker Bar. A good bunch of fellas. I golfed with a couple Brits and an American guy named Heath. I forget the other guys' names. Heath was funny as hell. And a pretty steady golfer. I had another bad caddy. She argued with me about shots refusing to give me the club I wanted trying to get me to play safe. And she couldn't understand anything I said. They don't allow you to drive the carts on the course there either which totally defeats the purpose and makes for a lot of unnecessary walking. One hole I was just off the green but against some rough taller than the ball. I couldn't putt so I asked my caddy for a 3 wood. She makes the long journey back to the cart and comes back with a 6 iron or something. So I used a club I shouldn't have and screwed up. Again the caddy cost me several strokes. But had a good day. And got the card back. In the first pic is Pleasant Valley hole #1. The pic to the right is Heath and another of the guys I golfed with. Maybe Jerry? I forget.
July 20 - Bangpra 102 Saw more monkeys this time. Had another bad day of putting. But decent score despite the putting woes. You have to zoom in on this pic too. You can see monkeys crossing the fairway. Even one momma witha monkey on her back. On this day my putting was a monkey on MY back. Also in the pic you can see Scott in the middle of the fairway and I think that's Larry headed for a second shot from the bunker. The other pic is the par 3 12th hole. It's supposed to be one of the top 100 short holes in the world. But I don't like it. I always get a bad score on it for some reason. And this time it's Kim wearing the orange. Orange seems to be a popular colour on the courses around Pattaya.
July 22 - Mountain Shadow 94/39 I shot 45/49 94 on the day but in the computer it says I got 98. So I'm wondering how accurately my scores have been submitted. I usually can't keep my scorecard. It gets submitted in order to adjust my handicap and keep things current. But Gord inputs the scores by computer. Maybe he's having trouble reading some of the scorecards or something. I've got the scorecard in front of me right now. The only reason I have it is I forgot to give it to Gord. As you can see my handicap was adjusted. When I got a 93 at Crystal Bay my first time golfing I was playing off 30. That was my handicap from 2 years before. But I don't think that was accurate. Not long after that we just decided to drop me to a 25. I think that was more accurate. And by this time I was golfing off an official 22.6 (23) handicap. But even still I got 39. If I had used the 25 handicap on my first day I would have got a 39 so I consider this day to be tied for my best day. I hope the other scores were submitted accurately.
July 25 - St. Andrews 107/28 This was a long time goal of mine. I wanted to play this course for a few reasons. First it's gorgeous! Secondly it has two par 6 holes. And thirdly now I can say I've played golf at St. Andrews. We were supposed to go on Friday with the Fairway but only Larry and I signed up so it was cancelled. Luckily Larry found a bar called the Rabbi Elephant Bar that was a regular customer at Green Valley on Saturday. Since Green Valley had a tournament that Saturday the Rabbi boys got Green Valley prices for St. Andrews. Larry and I decided to go along with them. And what a group we had! Larry, Larry, Terry and Dave. lol. St. Andrews was as great as I imagined. And I was cruising along pretty well. 107 isn't a bad score at all. I had 27 Stableford after only 13 holes. But I only got 1 on the last 5 holes. What happened was I hit a great drive on a hole that had an elevated tee box. WAY elevated. It went a little off the fairway but it was a wide open area where it must have landed. Problem was nobody could see it land. That happens when you hit the ball really far. And I really layed into that drive. We were all sure we would find it so I didn't hit a provisional. Nobody could find it and there was already a group on the tee box behind us so I had to take a wipe, (8), for that hole. Next hole I hit another good drive a bit off the fairway and AGAIN couldn't find it. So I was just pissed off the rest of the day and couldn't golf for shit. If I had averaged 2 on the last 5 holes I woulda come out with a 37. That's one better than my handicap. A good effort on St. Andrews! So it was a really great day. The first pic is #1 at St. Andrews. I started the day off right by putting my tee shot about 300 yards down the middle of the lake on the left. Sigh. That's Larry wearing orange in the second pic. I was in orange that day too. Just look at the waterfall and the landscaping! Every hole is like that! What a beautiful course! The 3rd pic is a view from the first par 6. The view is from my ball which is, ahem, way in front of the other guys' balls. Sometimes distance is a blessing but sometimes it's a curse. I chunked my third shot but still chipped onto the green for 4 but then 3-putted and took a 7 on my first par 6 ever. The final picture is of Larry and Larry on the 14th hole. This is the elevated tee box where I CRANKED a huge drive that landed on the fairway and rolled off between the 2nd and 3rd knuckle. Shoulda been easy to find right? That was a beautiful drive that was never seen again. And if you look directly above the tee block, that's the rough I lost my tee shot in coming right back on the next hole. It's where everything started to unravel for me on the day.
July 27 - Green Valley 102
July 29 - Burapha B/D 97/37 I would say this was my best day. Not my best score but it was the most fun I had on the golf course the whole vacation. There were only four of us, Andy, Paul, Kim and myself. We all had carts and we all stayed fairly close together on the day and talked while were were golfing. It was a real pleasure. Not just fun but really competitive. We were all within 4 shots the whole way. I ended up winning and Paul and Kim both got 36 I think. So they shot their handicaps which is very good. And Andy got 33. The next day I went to Cambodia.
August 3 - Green Valley 96 I remember having a really steady day. Then I think it was on the 15th hole I made the mistake of saying, "I think this is my best day so far. I haven't had any disaster holes yet and I've scored on every hole." I then proceeded to put two drives WAY out of bounds and just took an 8 and watched that hole. I think the next three holes were pretty rough too but even still 96 is not bad. I think that's 35 Stableford. I probly got something that day.
August 5 - Burapha A/B 104 I don't know what happened! I had caddy #211 who helped me to my 97 round. I felt good. I just lost a lot of tee shots. I got snake bitten a couple more times too. Hitting nice shots and not being able to find them. I hit a really long drive on one hole that was on the fairway to our right. It was wide open where the ball should have landed and there was a group of people hitting their balls when I got there. I think one of them probably hit my ball or picked it up. But that happened to me twice. And nothing pisses me off more. My caddy was so nice too apologizing. She says, "You hit too much far. My eye can't see!" It was not a good way to end my vacation.
However, all in all I had a blast! And it was great golfing with such a fine group of guys. I'll probably golf with them again. I think there were one or two rounds that didn't make it onto this list. But I can't remember much about them any more. I shoulda been more vigilant in taking notes about every day. But when I got home from golf there was eating, drinking and partying to do. Not a lot of time to record the day's events.
Nice courses though eh?
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