Monday, June 22, 2009

Nervous about traveling

I am officially on vacation!

I handed in my official marks and official attendance today so I'm off till August 24th. This is the BEST time of the year. I have my whole vacation ahead of me. Lots of fun will be had without a doubt and at this time I have the most time left until I have to work again.

It's not the work I dread so much it's the immigration process, living in the dorm, office politics, and dealing with administration. But even without all that vacation sure does beat hell outta work!

Tomorrow I (hopefully) sign a new contract and then I'm flying to Bangkok the next day. I'll stay overnight there and get a van to Pattaya Thursday morning. I'm hoping to hit the driving range Thursday and the golf course on Friday. MAN I can't wait!

I'll golf for as long as it takes to get it out of my system then I'm going to Cambodia. It's gonna be hot but I am prepared. I've been walking in the sun and humidity here for the last little while and I can feel the old body begrudgingly switching to summer mode. I hate the heat.

If I have the time, and the money, and I haven't found gainful employment in late July/early August back in Korea, the plan is to go to Viet Nam. I keep hearing good stuff about it so I just might end up staying there longer than intended. I wonder if I should bring my golf clubs. I think I'll look that up. I'm sure the Americans made some courses while they were there so Bob Hope could play during his U.S.O. tours.

There's just one thing I'm worried about. If you know me and my experiences in travel, you know there should be more than one thing I'm worried about. But that's all I'm worried about so far. Just one thing. But it's a pretty big thing. Money.

It's all about Korean banks. And, again, if you know me you should know by now that I think Korean banks should all be blown up. Two years ago when I was last in Thailand I used my Korean bank card without any trouble. Normally foreigners can't do that because those priveleges, along with many others, have been taken away from foreigners with no good reason since I've been here. Oh they'll tell you it's to stop "money laundering" but they're so full of shit they're eyes are brown.

While I can see where the concern comes from, (Koreans are EXPERTS at making money in other countries, whether leagally or not, and sending it all back to Korea.), the majority of us foreigners here just don't make enough to be a drain on their national economy. And because of that a healthy chunk of it is spent right here in Korea thus IMPROVING their economy.

I recently tried to wire 400 bucks back to Canada to pay for some storage fees and because I didn't have my passport I couldn't do it. The teller said it was because of "money laundering". Yeah right! First of all some tellers do and some tellers don't need the passport. I've wired money home without it before many times. And second of all, who in the wide wide world of sports "launders" 400 bucks?

No the reason is simple: and you can read the post below to find out exactly what that reason is. Jeong, chauvinism, moral unity, has brought about some panicky, spur-of-the-moment, ready-fire-aim law enactment in the years I've been in Korea. It seems like when one or two foreigners are caught with drugs, we all have to be tested for them. When one or two are caught with fake diplomas, we all have to get ours verified. When one or two pedophiles are caught we all need criminal record checks and STD tests. When one or two are caught bringing home a lot of money bank laws are changed. Did I say "it seems like"? It doesn't seem like, it IS!

Koreans are awfully lucky other nations don't treat visiting Koreans the way they treat visitors to their country. They're lucky they don't all have to get psychological tests to see if they might be like Cho Seung Hee, (the Virginia Tech. shooter). Or get lie detector tests to see that they aren't faking any information on their immigration papers like the great Korean stem cell phony, Hwang Woo Suck. Or ethics tests so they don't steal government or trade secrets like a couple Koreans have recently done in Germany and the States. Or even get sexuality screening to make sure they aren't gay like Daniel Choi.

At any rate, because I obtained my bank card before they could hastily enact the law to discontinue all international services to foreigners, I can still take advantage of the privelege to make my bank obscene amounts of money withdrawing from bank machines in other countries at ridiculously bloated exchange rates. And service charges apply as well. It sure is a good thing for Korean banks that ALL foreigners can't make them tons of money this way when they explore S.E. Asia while working here in Korea. As they ALL DO! Hypernationalism costing Korea money. It's what's IN here.

A couple of times bank tellers have asked me to give them my card so they can change its status but haven't been able to do so retroactively. But silly me, I don't feel like bringing a pile of American dollars with me on my vacation so I went to my bank to try to ask somebody if my card would work. I don't know what I was thinking.

I get to the teller and she speaks zero English. Another thing I find on the DEcrease here is English service. There used to be a guy at my bank who always dealt with me. Kim Young Soo was his name. He wasn't awesome at English but he could always get the job done. He's the guy that gave me my international card when I opened my account many years ago. I haven't seen him since. Maybe he's serving time for the seditious act of treating a foreigner the same as a Korean. Who knows?

The "help" I get at my bank now is pretty much non-help. I go there very infrequently. I probably shouldn't have gone on this occasion either. The teller doesn't understand what I'm saying even though I say it in imperfect but passable Korean. I told her I was going to Thailand and asked if my card would be okay there. Her answer was "YEH?" I had to mime it a few times before she understood and said, "No." So I told her that two years ago I used it in Thailand and it was okay. Her answer was, "No." "Yes," I retort, "EE cheon chil nyun quinchunaiyo." That means, "2007 it was okay." To which she replies, "No." I reply, "So you're telling me I DIDN'T get the money I got from the bank machine in Thailand?" To which she responds, "YEH?" * "Yeh" doesn't mean "yes", it means "huh?". So she gets up and goes to a guy who speaks better English. I gotta give her credit for not instantly panicking and finding him. That sometimes happens.

While she does that I phone my friend April who works at a bank here and is Korean. She tells me I probably shouldn't have asked. But I really don't want to get to Thailand and try to use the cash machine to find it won't work. THAT would be something that would happen to me!

The teller and April talk on the phone for a while. She wants to give me this new card that is for foreigners so they can bank overseas. Of course there are massive restrictions and April told me it comes down to sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't. That is just too much chance for disaster for me.

April tells me on the phone to make sure I don't give them the card and both the female teller and the English speaking male she had called over are asking repeatedly for it, asking for the number, leaning over and trying to see the number for themselves and copy it down and I'm pretty sure they were salivating a little bit. So I hung up with April and walked out of the bank.

I really wish I hadn't done that! It's not going to be too hard for them to find my account since they have two pictures of me on file, (passport and alien card), and I'd wager they have no other customers that look even a little bit like me. How hard would it be for these zealots to put the kibosh on my international banking priveleges?

So that's another adventure I might have to look forward to. But it's bound to make for a good post right here. Watch for it in a few days.

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