David O' Cannell's St. Patty's Weekend

I felt Irish last weekend. More Irish than the Irish people I know. But I feel kind of Irish when I spend a few days in a row in I Tae Won. I don't usually smell like an Irish spring, but I see lots of pink hearts on the hill, yellow moons when juicy girls pull their pants down, orange stars in the sky when the Chinese sands are in the air, beige clover when Gunther pours a Guinness, and purple diamonds, which are really amethyst that Koreans are always trying to convince people is worth something. I almost always spend a pot of gold and once in a long time, I'll catch a glimpse of a leprechaun too.

I started March 17th at Ye Olde Stompers at the top of the I Tae Won hill cuz Lance was playing and Dwayne, the owner of Stompers, was drummin. They both get better every time I hear them. St. Patty's Day was the best yet. They even dedicated the best live version of Limelight by Rush I've ever heard to yours truly. That was awesome! At one point Lance, (the most amazing live guitarist you will ever hear for free), said his beer was empty so I purchased him a Crown and Coke. We had shared a few the evening before while paraphrasing another very handy Canadian guitarist, Kim Mitchell, and saying, "Might as well go for a Crown and Coke."

So I go up to the stage and wait there till the song's finished to give Lance a beverage with which to slake his well-earned thirst. He doesn't wait. He proceeds to lay down a ONE-HANDED, beverage-long, pretty damn hot guitar solo to whatever song it was he was playing. He DRANK the drink while playing the solo for the love of God! Kids, if I'm still bloggin when I'm an old man, I'll probly be spinning yarns about the days way back when I knew Lance and he wasn't famous.
That was a great start to the evening's festivities. So when Stompers closed down around 2 or 3, I just wasn't ready to turn in. So I went down the hill a bit with Allen. He was filling in at the bar for Dwayne while he was drummin. A decent fella even if he is from England. I jest. So we went in to Debut to pay a visit to my favourite serving wench Ha Young of the oversized rack. She hasn't yet realized that we are meant for each other. She is constantly playing the exact songs I want to hear. Musically we are soulmates.

Anyway, I started talking with a big English teacher from Michigan. He was telling me how he thought I was in the secret service or something. Then our conversation was joined by a tall, thin American soldier. He had the "Go kick some ass" speech from Henry V, (if you're not a total Phillistine, you'd recognize it if you heard it), the WHOLE, dang thing tattooed on his back. And he showed us. We bullshat for probably about an hour before introducing ourselves. Dave, Dave and Dave. I shit thee not! Tell me any other name THAT could happen with!

Debut closed down and Ha Young went, (not to say "sprinted"), home to bed. I'll see her after hours yet.... So Allen, a drunken Newfie he was talking to, and I went to the last place open, Old Town. There I was chatting up the lovely Russian waitress. I think her name is Ileana. She's my back-up plan if I ever give up on Ha Young. Ha ha. Before long I met this Japanese/Korean guy who was feeding me a cock and bull story about how rich he was and how he wanted me to teach him private lessons. He was pretty obviously a crook but I was so happy I didn't let it bother me. We closed down Old Town! That means EVERYTHING else is open again!

So Allen, the Japanese guy and I went to the Seoul Pub. When we got there, the owner told the Japanese dude he couldn't come in. What kind of a scumbag do you have to be to get banned from the Seoul Pub? Oh yeah, I was banned for life until recently. Heh heh. But all is forgiven. It was kinda nice NOT being the one watching the others drink through the doors. The owner, as usual, asked about Heather and Mike and their two kids. I corrected him and told him they now have 3. That's about all we had to say. So Allen and I chatted with a couple of hard working Russian gals. I think I promised to make them borsht some time. I had a chugging contest with the owner, lost, and finally decided to put an end to my own personal St. Patrick's Day parade. I guess it was nigh onto either lunch or supper time because I scarfed down some Macdonalds and went to sleep.

I woke up at about 7 Monday morning. I work at 1 on Mondays. I barely made it home then back to work and it wasn't my favourite day of work. But I made it through.

Whenever my students ask why I'm not married, I wish I could refer them to this. Or many similar stories I have. Oh I'm sure there'll come a day when I'll grow up, but not just yet. I had a blast! How Irish am I I mean really???!!! I think I'll change me name to David O' Cannell.

Best part is none of this was planned. It was totally spontaneous! I had gone to I Tae Won to buy a couple pairs of nice pants and this is what eventuated! I got two pairs of pants, two pairs of gotch and two pairs of socks that cut off the circulation to my feet, (like all socks I buy in this country). I'm not gonna tell you how much I spent over the three-day weekend but I'll just say those pants and undies are the most expensive I've ever owned. By a long shot. I'll probly end up chucking the socks in the garbage. Anybody with thin ankles want some socks?

See you next time.