Survivor time again

Wow! That really snuck up on me! Or "sneaked" as the case may be. But I'd say it "snuck". Sounds more surprising than "sneaked" to me. I was just looking for a new show to get from mininova and BAM there's episode one of Survivor. So as usual I'll give my predictions. I DID watch the first episode and there is NO way I would have chosen Marisa to be voted out first! But who can predict what'll happen with a guy like Russ H around? He's gonna make things fun! For a short while. I'm gonna give you what I think of the players in the order that Jeff Probst reviewed them.

Erik: 28, Bartender. Probst likes him. Like me he hates "hooray-for-everything" fake positivity and he's out to bring anybody like that he encounters crashing down to earth. It's terrible but I LOVE that! Probst says he'll double cross. I agree. He loves stealing other men's women and says the only thing better than making a woman cry is making a man cry. I think this will make Natalie irresistable to him. I don't think he really has much respect for women. He dates 4 or 5 at a time and the only special female in his life is his dog. He's well educated but enjoys working as a bartender and feels he's not a "sellout". I think he'll be a very clever troublemaker. I think he could come in second place or even win if people don't get to know him. There MUST be a reason why Probst chose to talk about him first.

Ashley: 22, Spa Sales. Probst is surprised by her "gut". Says she could go deep. I don't think it'll be through any skill if she does but she could be someone people don't feel threatened by. Very good looking and will use that. But she's only camped once, she's a city girl and she seems very naive. However, says she has no qualms about selling stuff she doesn't like. She swallowed Russ H's bogus Katrina/Rocky story whole and is already giving him her trust. Not looking to be too bright yet. Could be an early casualty of Russ H's evil plan.

Dave: 38, Fitness Instructor. Danger Dave could be a danger to others or to himself. Probst expects him to self-destruct. He has the highest I.Q. of any survivor ever, 140. I am not convinced that will help in the survivor situation. However, he likes strategy games and has a LOT of world experience. Used to be a flight attendant, does martial arts, and has a degree in OPERA??? He wants to make life a rich experience. OBVIOUSLY. I liked his quote, "The issue of my sanity doesn't cross my mind that often." Don't know him well enough to guess whether that was wit or not but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt. His strategy is to "moderate my mouth". I like his philosophy but I'm not sure he'll be well accepted by others. But that might not hurt him. More people get voted off these days for being popular than not.Plans to retire to Thailand and become a minor warlord there if he wins the mil.

Russel S: 42, Lawyer. Probst feels like he's not built for the deception of the game. Not built for deception? He's a LAWYER! But he DOES sue people who hurt the environment so if such a thing exists, he might be a good lawyer. Still I've said it before, I don't think a lawyer should EVER win Survivor. Yet there always seems to be a whole herd of them on every show. Are there really THAT many lawyers in the States? Seeing him cut off his dreads won't be worth seeing him win. Was chosen as leader because of his suit and proved to be pretty good at choosing the right people for the right jobs. Except choosing John for swimming. The choice of Shambo for the smart person was fantastic. She kicked ass in both puzzles. I might like him but I won't vote for him cuz he's a lawyer.

Russel H: 36, Oil Company Owner. This guy is a jerk who would probably be more at home in jail than Samoa. From what I've seen I wouldn't be surprised if he deserves to be in jail. Even Probst called him evil! He's very intimidating and it has gotten him far. But intimidation won't work on Survivor. And he's not nearly as smart as he thinks. Already Betsy and Marisa don't trust him. But Marisa's gone because of it. He can't get away with that too many times before he gets the boot. But it'll sure be interesting to see what chaos he can cause! And when he gets voted off there might be a few death threats as he makes the walk of shame.

Brett: 23, T Shirt Designer. Probst calls him a "dark horse". He might sneak through. He's not gonna be the best or worst at anything. Perfect guy to slide through without ever getting a vote. I'll be interested to see if he's a REAL businessman and steps on people to get to the million bucks. For example I'm curious why he said Shambo looked like the best leader but then voted for Russ S. Did he want to put a target on Russ? As Russ says, "The highest nail gets pounded down first and I'm sky high right now."

Kelly: 25, Hairstylist. I think she'll be high on Erik's list of people to bring back to earth. Seems like a bubble-head. "Careful" and "Trouble" tattoos could mean, "Careful, this person has trouble." I couldn't even sit through her intro vid. There's nothing to her in my early opinion. One of several girls on this Survivor with annoying chipmunk voices.

Shambo: 45, Sales. She is instantly likeable. Biker bitch with a mullet. I like her voice and the way she talks. She just seems honest. I'm not going out on too thin a limb to guess that she might be the requisite homosexual on Survivor. Like a female Rupert. I might like her better. The puzzle QUEEN! I think she's smart and a great judge of people. Russ H is lucky she's not in his tribe cuz she'd already be on to him. Erik better be careful of her too. One of my early favourites.

Yasmin: 33, Hairstylist. Abolutely GORGEOUS! If I have learned anything from Survivor it's this: the girls I find the most attractive are always the first to be voted out. She'll be gone early. Says she's opinionated and a bitch. Might be kept around for that though. Probst thinks she's a softy but she performed well in challenges so far. I can only hope she sticks around. Maybe her and Kelly, the two hairsylists, will become friends. And go for swims, and tan on the beach and bathe together. Auuuuggghhh....

Elizabeth: 33, Lawyer. She was, (of course), picked for the intelligence task by Russ and got her ass whooped by Shambo in the puzzle. She said herself that the stereotype of Asians being smart also carries with it the negative stigma of being conniving. From my experience with Asians, it's well earned. Says she wants to be assertive without being abrasive. Her profession and her heritage certainly won't help. Says there are definitely a lot of whackos here. Is REALLY worried about annoying people. I wonder why that is... Says people need to be flexible to win. I.e. able to change alliances and/or their stories in a heartbeat. She's such a lawyer! Probst doesn't trust her and I loved when he used air quotes and called her the "smartest person." I hate her already.

Ben: 28, Mixologist. Will him and Erik swap cocktail recipes? They're both womanizers but I don't think I'll like Ben as much. He seems more like a jerk. Likes biking and killing stuff. An intriguing evil duo would be Ben and Russ but there's no honour amongst bad guys. Neither would trust the other. Says he's not a sayer but a doer then totally contradicts himself by bragging about his player life. Don't think he's gonna be Mr. Popularity and I'd be surprised if ANY of the gals like him. Probst calls him a time bomb ready to explode. I don't think he'll be able to recover if he does.

Laura: 39, Office Manager. Another biker. But I doubt her Christian, conservative personality will do anything but clash with other bikers in this bunch. In fact I could see her getting voted off if she's too vocal about her beliefs. Calls herself a fit version of Sarah Palin. Uh oh... She has maybe the MOST annoying chipmunk voice and she has used it to say "I can do it right and I can do it better." I think being in a tribe with Russ H might artificially prolong her stay. Otherwise she'd be given the heave-ho next I think. But Probst thinks she'll go all the way! Gotta disagree, Jeff.

Mike: 62, Chef. He's all by himself in the age category. Luckily not in the same tribe as Laura cuz he hates republicans. Former college football coach so he might use those skills. He's got a cool way of talking. Him and Shambo would be fun to listen to if they were reading cricket scores for crying out loud! But I have a feeling he'll be weak. So does Probst. Got his sleep apnea fixed? Can that happen? He better hope so. He's already gonna be viewed as expendible.

Betsy: 48, Cop. It's important to note that she has only been a cop for a year. Who becomes a cop at 47? Although, her cop-like reading of Russ H was impressive, her comment about Ashley being the weakest was not very peace officerish. Also was a boozer for a while. Sober 21 years though. The second she starts trying to turn Survivor into The Biggest Loser and get people crying about her husband's battle with prostate cancer I'm gonna stop liking her. But I think I just might like Betsy. Probst likes her and thinks she could win.

Marisa: 26, Student. She can go back to her studies. I think she was smart calling Russ H "pretty slimy." Not smart to confront him about it though. Probst said she was on paper made for the game but she'd get mixed up with the wrong people and be out by episode 5. Boy was he right! I think she was a good person. Did some volunteer work overseas. She had noble goals too. Too good to get rich I suppose.

Natalie: 26, Pharmaceutical Sales. She will break a nail in a challenge but probably won't eat a bug. Gorgeous and that might be what gets her voted off. Not much interesting about her except that she had better watch out for Erik. Probst thinks there might be something to her. I'm not sure yet.

Mick: 33, Doctor. Probst doesn't trust him but his tribe does. Voted the leader and he seems to be liking it more than Russ. He tried very hard to make himself sound funny in his profile. Didn't really work for me. And seeing him in the first episode, NAH. He's not funny OR a leader. He could be doing it badly on purpose but I doubt it. Says he's loyal and keeps his word. We'll see if that helps or hurts him. Or if it's even true.

John: 25, Rocket Scientist. Probst REALLY doesn't like this guy! Says he's a poser. Finds idiots and unskilled amusing and will tell them so. He'll stir the pot! Former soccer player but not such a good swimmer as we saw. Says he prefers, "justifyably confident" to "cocky." That's an awfully cocky thing to say. I think he's a bladder full of hot air and can't stand listening to him. I'm sure I won't be alone.

Monica: 25, Law Student. Studying to fill the obvious lawyer shortage in the U.S. She's gorgeous. I don't know if I'll be calling her Parvati or Pocohontas. Again I think she'll be interesting only by the company she keeps. I don't see a lot to her. And I don't want to see a law student win either. Another one of these chicks that thinks she has sales skills but dressed in her bikini, I'd buy ice from her if I were an Eskimo before she said a word.

Jaison: 28, Law Student. Maybe can study with Monica. U.S. water polo team. Good swimming is always a plus on Survivor and he won the swimming challenge in the first episode. Mr. California in Cosmo. Probst says he would love to give him the check. He IS well spoken and I like his idea of snowboarding down Mt. Everest but he's another damn lawyer!

I like: Erik, Dave, Shambo.
I hate: John, Elizabeth, Laura.

I DON'T hate: Russ H. He'll be a lot of fun if he can stick around.

Best shot to win: Russel S, Shambo, Brett, Jaison.