She Blinded Me With Slience

The following entry is based almost entirely on theory, conjecture, and the unknown and should be regarded as such.

Imagine as far back as you can. To the very beginning. Impossible. Because it's not only as abstract as abstract can be, it involves thinking of nothingness or infinity, both of which are impossible for us to wrap our feeble brains around. Right about now there are some subscribers to the most popular religion in the world: Slience that are getting their hackles up. They're hackling right up. Put your hackles away and listen to reason. But first let me explain Slience.

The word "Slience" sort of looks like science but it isn't. And it has a "lie" right in the heart of it. Our world is rife with Slience. It's overrun with it to the point that any Regan Burns can spout any scientific babble to any unsuspecting subject and get them to believe. We are becoming oblivious to Slience. Maybe through mutation we have developed a gene that allows us to believe in stuff we know absolutely nothing about and never will. Or maybe it is just faith. Either way, whether we do it scientifically or religiously, we do it. This isn't much of an explanation yet but I've sort of started in medias res, put the cart before the horse, started somewhere past the beginning. So let's get back to the "beginning" shall we?

One of the great mysteries of life is the beginning. But not to me. A greater mystery is how so many arguments and debates and wars could have come from it. It's so blatantly simple to me that we are never going to know. Give up for the love of (I don't want to take sides here) Pete! It's a ludicrous argument between creationism and evolution or Darwinism or the Big Bang or whatever the alternative is called because, BOTH arguments are based on faith. That is both arguments can be rendered spurious; can be effectively disproved in EXACTLY the same way. If God created the universe, where did God come from? We'll never get that. Either God always existed, which we cannot ever understand, or He/She was created from nothing, which we cannot understand. But if you prefer the idea of a universe that came from a swirling of matter into an intense point from which a huge creative explosion resulted, the identical question must be asked: where did that matter come from? It either existed forever or it was created from nothing. Both conceptions of the beginning are false because neither is really the beginning. Both start in the middle. In medias res.

Ever try to think of nothing? It's impossible to even think of nothing. Buddhist monks will tell you they can but they're Sliers. Lots of people believe them though. I've heard it said that if you ever train your mind to actually think of nothing, the second you achieve that feat, you die. But that's pretty hard to prove.

Now try to think of infinity. That's impossible too. "You're stupid to the millionth power." "Well YOU'RE stupid to the gozillionth power!" "You're stupid to the googleth power!" "YOU'RE stupid to the infinity power!" "Well YOU'RE stupid to the infinity and one th power!" "Well YOU'RE stupid to the infinity and millionth power!" Hmmmm. Maybe it's NOT impossible.

Imagine the final number arrived at in the above debate. That number is Q. It's a number so huge that it can't be written. Now imagine a huge junkyard with a piece of everything known to man inside it. A big tornado hits this junkyard and stuff flies around and when the tornado moves on or dissipates, a perfectly built 747 jet is left behind. The odds of this happening are probably 10 to the Qth power. As near as makes absolutely no difference to ME, it's impossible. Even one nut screwing onto one bolt in a storm seems highly unlikely to me. But I would guess that the odds of the Big Bang happening randomly, without any intelligent creation, are probably 10 to the Qth power LESS likely than the junkyard 747. Which makes it even easier for me to call it impossible. But so many people believe it to be possible! This is not very scientific thinking if you ask me. It looks more like religious thinking. How can anyone believe this without a little bit of faith? Come on scientists, you all know I'm right! You are BELIEVERS! Even though it's the scariest thing in the world to a true scientist, they have FAITH! Therefore the basis of all science, the beginning, is rooted in faith.

The same can be said for creationists. Nobody can be sure God created the world. It's something we believe through faith. I admit, I am a creationist. My God is the Prime Mover. Either He/She is infinite or came from nothing. I am comfortable knowing that I will never understand my God. But I still believe. For an evolutionist, I suppose you have faith in everlasting, or immaculately created dust or dirt or whatever that matter was at the beginning. And HEY, it is said by creationists that everything was created by God from dirt, including man, and everything will return to dirt. How different are the arguments when it really comes down to it? They're pretty much the same. Ashes to ashes, dust to dust. We're all just Dust In The Wind. Be Excellent to Each Other.

Now about this Slience. It's the same as what I've just explained. People call it Science but they really don't know, they just believe. It's everywhere. Watch any talk show. "He killed his family because he was raped as a child and was psychologically incapable of feeling love." That sentence has more faith in it than the Lord's Prayer. But it will be treated in court as science. The defendant will be sent to a hospital, not a jail, on the basis of this Slience.

The TV show 20/20 are champions of Slience. I saw one show where they were talking about how racist young kids are. They went into a kindergarten or grade school classroom and showed the kids two pictures. One of a man with a white turban and white clothes, a beard, not particularly good looking, not smiling, talking on a cell phone. Another of an Asian guy out of the pages of GQ with an Armani suit, fashionable hair, smiling kindly, good looking, together, perfect teeth, and talking on a cell phone. Then they asked the kids questions about the pictures. "What do you think of this guy?" (the turban wearing fella) The kids thought he wasn't nice. One kid said he thought he looked weird. But they all thought the Asian guy was nice. They asked what they might be talking about and some other questions and the answers were overwhelmingly in favour of the Asian picture. So 20/20 concluded that kids are racist. They went on talking about childhood racism matter-of-factly as if they had just proved it beyond a doubt. I was watching with a friend and I said something like, "What the fuck? Disney has more to do with their answers than racism. Way to project our evils onto the innocent 20/20!" My co-watcher, who had just swallowed the Slience whole, said, "Oh yeah. You're right." And she started to think. Question. Something we are too uninclined to do about things we are told are "scientific" nowadays.

THIS is Slience, my friends and since a majority of it is based in abstract belief and faith, it IS a religion. And it's sweeping the nation. Watch for it. It's coming to a TV, radio, classroom, or soapbox near you.

Strange Things Are Afoot In The ROK

Well, I'm back from a two-week break for Korean Thanksgiving, (Chuseok). It was a couple of whacky weeks! I went to Yong In and met my friends Scott, Min Ju and their boy, Alex at Everland. Amusement was slowed slightly by a small boy and pregnant woman but I think I had enough fun for my aging amusement park taste. I still went on the freakiest ride in the park. I don't know what it was called but it shoulda been called "The Ball Crusher". It was one of those rides where there's a long cylindrical seating area where about 40 or 50 people sit and it spins while the whole ride also rotates. We did 5 spins in a row one time I think. Only Scott and I went on of course. Small, hard plastic seating area, and pretty intense g-force from the dual spinage. I give it two thumbs up but I shoulda worn a cup. But it wasn't half the adventure that getting there was. I live what looks to be about 1 or 2 hours away from Everland on the map but it took me at least 6 hours to get there with the "convenient" bus system here. I won't get into that.
Next it was off to Pyeong Taek for a couple days to visit Scott's family. We had a round of golf simulation and a barbecue. It was great.
Then I went to Seoul to visit Heather and Mike. We took the kiddies to see Open Season, a new Disney flick. I really liked it. Thumbs up. It was on the US base so I got to put as much buttery flavoured topping on my popcorn as I wanted and got a HUGE, blue, raspberry slushie to go with it. I think I was so buzzed on sugar from that I would have liked ANY movie. The whole experience got a blue toothed smile from me. I can't remember the last time I went to a real theater.
I did some shopping around Seoul and had some really weird experiences. Seoul is getting weird. One night in my hotel I was awakened at 3 am by a phone call. It was just someone saying hello. So I hung up. Then the same person called back and asked what room I was in. The person said, "I am Korean woman," but if at any time in the past this person had been a woman I wasn't convinced by the voice I heard. I didn't divulge my room number. In fact I got up and locked my door.
On Saturday night I went to Woodstock, my favourite bar in I Tae Won. It was jam packed. I couldn't find a seat. Woodstock is NEVER packed. I usually sit in the same seat. They call me Norm for crying out loud. So I didn't stay. Two days later it was empty. Just me and a much too friendly Korean guy listening to an outstanding Filipino band called Infinity. I bought lotsa tequila shots for the band and we had a really good time. I sat in my favourite seat too.
The following Monday was Canadian Thanksgiving and the alleged nuclear test in N. Korea. Heather, bless her heart, cooked a massive Thanksgiving turkey dinner and invited me and Uncle Darryl, (her brother who is in the military), over. The dinner was great and we watched the movie Crash afterwards. Again, thumbs WAY up.
The next day I was out to get a sub from Subway and I saw a commotion on the street on the way. Some shop owner was selling assorted hip hop clothes for 1000 won each. That's like a buck! I got a nice Sean John shirt and a pair of jean shorts for 2 bucks! I guess maybe they fell off the back of a passing truck or something. ???
I got back to my home town for Friday the 13th. I had to proctor an exam for my skin and hair students. It was chaos. They all cheated their asses off and still failed. Par for the course. Sigh.
When I went to bed the night of Friday the 13th another strange thing happened to me. I had been reading a book I bought at Kyobo Book store while I was in Seoul called "Haunted". It's a great book. Yet again a hearty thumbs up! I shut off the lights to go to bed and I saw a green glowing blur in my apartment. I didn't have my glasses on so I had no idea what it was. I thought maybe it was just the scary book doing things to my mind but as I got closer to the green, glowing globule, it didn't disappear. It turns out the cover of that book glows in the dark. Ha ha ha! That was weird but in a cool way.
Then on the next day I was walking down the street and a guy pulled over in his car. I didn't recognize the guy but he just leaned over and looked out the passenger window at me. I was pretty sure he could have found a more viable source for directions. I just waited for him to say something. He didn't. So I said, "Hello?" He just grinned creepily and asked in Korean if I was American. I told him in Korean that I was Canadian. He said, "Oh Canada!" Then he just grinned. We had a long lull in our roadside conversation. What was his deal? Was he trying to get a drive-thru English lesson? Was he an early strike North Korean hitman trying to take out a few American soldiers before the main assault? Couldn't have been, his car was too expensive. Come to think of it, his voice sounded very similar to the 3 am phone caller. (shudder) Anyway, I saw a taxi, flagged it down and got the hell away from the guy.
Then today I got into a cab to go to work because I woke up too late to catch the bus. The cab driver is an old guy who has commented on how much he likes my beard several times in the past. I asked him in Korean if he had a good Chuseok. He said he did. Then he launched into a speech, complete with a couple dangerous pivots to get a better look at me when he should have been watching the road, about how handsome my beard is. I didn't say anything for the rest of the ride.
What gives? What's the old saying, "Unlucky in love, lucky in cards?" Maybe it goes for movies, shopping and Filipino bands too. I dunno. Just ONE time I'd like to hear a WOMAN comment on how much she likes my beard! Oh well, even though I may be irresistable to gay, Korean men, I ain't shaving any time soon.