Okay kids, the vocabulary word of the day is "wry." Who can tell me what it means? We've all heard of and probably seen a "wry" smile, or a "wry face," but what Webster or Roget amongst you can put it into words? A little lit. for ya, Victor Hugo in Les Miserable said of Paris, "Its hurricanes spring sometimes from a wry face. Its outbursts, its great days, its masterpieces, it's prodigies, its epics fly to the ends of the universe, and so do its cock and bull stories also."
I don't know much about Paris or France, certainly not as much as old Vic did, but I can tell you a little bit about Asia and take it from me it's much the same here. "Wry" can mean dry and mocking. It can be used to describe an expression of disgust, disappointment or mockery. Here is a pretty thorough definition.
As most people know, "face" can have a different meaning when applied to Asia. Saving "face" has historically led to people doing any number of extreme things not excluding suicide. Japanese culture brought us "hari kari" or "seppuku" a ritual suicide that consisted of a person shamed, or a person who has "lost face" plunging a dagger into his/her abdomen in a slicing motion from left to right. It was originally used as part of the Samurai honour code as a way to die an honourable death rather than be killed by one's enemies. But it was also used as a way to make amends for a perceived disgrace.
Korea abounds with stories, (hurricanes? masterpieces? epics?), of businessmen caught in financial scandals killing themselves; students failing to achieve high scores on college entrance exams holding hands and jumping off the school roof; even recently a former president, Roh Moo Hyun throwing himself, (?), off a cliff in what many believe was a suicide due to the allegations that he took 6 million bucks or so in bribes from businessmen while in office. I am skeptical about that one. I believe it could just as easily have been a murder committed by any of the many businessmen exposed by Roh's vigilant fight against corruption that is at the heart of business in Korea but Koreans prefer to memorialize Roh in an honourable way so we won't get into that right now. And as you know if you've read this blog a time or two, I believe this "face" has degenerated into not much more than a great cock and bull story used by "clever" people to lie to, steal from and cheat the not so "clever."
I guess it's because I am in the "education" racket here. Nowhere is "face" more aparent. Now you may be thinking, "Dave, what about the business world?" Well, dear reader, as I've said a thousand times if I've said it once, the very reason I never type the word "education" when referring to what it is the Koreans have here without quotation marks bookending it is because education IS business here. It has been since '45 when the Japanese occupation was brought to an end. At the end of WWII Koreans thirsted for education and they still do. But rather than use that as a way to create a free thinking, well adjusted population, it was perceived as a great demand that could be used to make big bucks. It's hard to blame Korea for this since the country was pretty poor in '45 and since then it has become an economic miracle of sorts. So you can say the approach worked. But where I find fault is the little, if any, progress that has been made educationally since.
This is a huge jump in logic, but it's my blog and I can jump if I want to: I watch a LOT of Korean baseball and one of the biggest differences is the reluctance of scorers to give errors. I saw an absolutely hideous game a few days ago when Kia played LG and both teams were booting balls, throwing wild, missing catches and at the end of the game there were 2 errors on the board when there should have been about 10. "Face" is even made a part of things that are NOT Asian over here. Bunting in Japanese baseball, (and the source of most of my frustration with the Kia Tigers strategy), is done not so much strategically, but as a way to appease fans who expect it. Or so the story goes. If the coach doesn't call a sacrifice bunt with a guy on first and nobody out, it might be perceived as a failure. And nobody fails in Asia.
This brings us back to "education." I can't tell you how many times I've been told to fudge grades and attendance here. It's midterm exam time and I have three Hotel Cooking classes who performed abysmally on their midterms. In class A, (which I call class F), 5/45 passed the midterm. Class B 10/45. Class C 9/45. That's less than 18%of my students who were able to get 50% on their tests. And I was a bit surprised those numbers were so high. This is with an incredibly easy curriculum dumbed WAY down and MASSIVE hints given a few days before the exam virtually telling them what was going to be on it.
I have no doubt that at the end of this session after they have similar results on the final exam I will be presented once again with a list of "amended" grades upon which every student has been magnanimously given no less than 75%, including the ones who never saw the inside of my classroom, and asked, with a wry smile, to sign it. This has always been what I figured would be the death of my career in teaching here in Korea.
Another big jump: What are the currencies of Korea, China and Japan, or at least their Anglicized equivalents respectively? Won, Renminbi, and Yen. Look at the first letters of those currencies and you will see the point of this blog entry. The wryest smile I've seen is from administrators in the various "schools" where I've worked telling me I need to grade on a curve; I need to have a minimum of 10 A's, 10 B's and a maximum of 10 C's; asking or demanding that I sign fraudulent grades or attendance and all because they are trying to save "face" for the students. What a crock of shit! It's all done to increase or maintain enrollment numbers, or what I more accurately refer to as, "recidivism" numbers.
So if ever this post comes to public attention and it is perceived as having cost the Korean "education" system face, do you suppose the Seoul Superintendant of Education, (who is pretty much in charge of everything because he's in charge of the budget and curriculums), will blow his head off to save face? Ha ha. Get it? Blow his head off to save face? I think not. But what would be for more likely is some thugs coming to my room and killing me then leaving a suicide note that says I was shamed by the many false grades I turned in and the crimes of academic fraud I had perpetrated over my years in Korea. This is what caused me to stab myself. In the back. 17 times.
I want you to know I will never commit suicide or do anything drastic like that to "save face." Furthermore I never have, nor will I ever sign the phony grades or attendance I'm continuously asked to sign. And I won't commit any other kind of academic fraud whatsoever. But I guess this post could be altered too.
But if I make it out of Korea before that happens and I return to Canada, (and the day is hastened by the phenomenon of which I write), and I am interviewed by a school for a position most likely as a substitute teacher they might ask me how many years of experience I have. My reply will be something like, "About 15 years, but only the years in Canada really count." You can bet I'll say it with a wry face.
Saturday, April 24, 2010
Thursday, April 08, 2010
Gods in the machines
It's been a while since I waxed philosophical on yer asses. I guess it's been a while since I've waxed a lot of things. Poetic, romantic, a car, my bikini line... But that's probably because lately I've waxed lethargic.
It's my Thursday classes. They aren't so much peopled with students as succubi and they drain every ounce of life out of me so that by Thursday night I just say, "Calgon, take me away! Serenity NOW! Balloonball!" Or whatever works. Usually I have barely enough power remaining to drink lots of beer and try to devise ways to stop kids from coming to class or to catch an illness that will last until the end of the semester. That combined with accomodation hell, the absolute absence of educational standards and practices at my workplace and the unconditional certainty of meeting with some xenophobic, ignorant and stupid treatment EVERY time I leave my room, leads to a lot of time wasted in my room watching movies and TV on my computer. A lot of time.
But today after a reasonable amount of sleep that was only interrupted a few times by rude, noisy, drunken students, I feel like I have a bit more physical and mental energy than usual. And I thought I'd get back to putting that excess marblage to work solving the problems of the world.
I saw a TV commercial recently for a Ford truck that featured computerized braking, fuel injection, guidance system, climate control, collision sensors the whole deal. And I recently chatted with some people about a hideous losing streak my character was on in a facebook role playing game I play. They all told me it was just the random roll of the die. These things got me a-thinking.
Are we really putting that much trust in computers nowadays? For my money the smart automobile shopper steers clear of all the extra wiring and computerization because it all just leads to extra headaches. And they are expensive headaches. I know from experience. I think all the specialized computer shit in vehicles nowadays is actually DESIGNED for the purpose of making vehicles impossible to repair at home, making them more expensive to repair at the service centers and making motorists visit those service centers a lot more frequently. And if you get scumbag mechanics like the ones I always seem to find, they can temporarily fix problems so that you'll have to fix the same problem a dozen times. Why not just buy a new vehicle altogether? There are lots of improvements and technoligical breakthroughs on the new models!
How often does your computer need servicing? If you're like most people it breaks down regularly. Even Bill Gates' computer screws up regularly! People believe it's because of these mysterious viruses and hackers and crap but really it's just that they aren't well made yet. Maybe they never will be. The same goes for those car parts we put all our trust in. But if we knew how volatile and undependable electronics really are we probably wouldn't buy so much. Maybe we would but we certainly wouldn't pay so much for this junk.
Here's a question for you: How many TV Repairmen do you know? How about people who fix phones or video cameras or even cameras? Nobody does this any more! Things are made poorly and repairs are hard to find or too expensive if you find them. And new updates and improvements come along just often enough to keep us buying new shit every couple of years. Whether we want to, need to or not. Here's a word to look at: capitalism. Capital means money. Ism is a doctrine or practice of support or even love. Folks, capitalism is the love of money and that is the root of all evil. Isn't it?
But the more we get herded into the electronic culture, the more we settle for the mediocrity of the products. Computer generated "random" is the best example I can think of. If you've ever played computer poker and real poker with actual concrete paper made from trees cards, you'd know beyond a doubt that there's a massive difference. There has never been a good "random" program created and there never will be. And I've played a lot of computer games with "random" card flipping, dice rolling etc.
It's like baseball. I've seen and played enough of it to know beyond a doubt that when the leadoff hitter gets on first, sac bunting him to second is never a good play. I don't need statistics to back me up, I just know from experience. But we don't trust fallable human beings any more do we? We need a computer to figure it out. Same with dice rolling or card dealing or any other supposedly "random" actions computers are designed to perform. They aren't random, they are highly organized, orderly, and structured sequences that are programmed to give the appearance of "random." It's easy for any human to tell the difference. If you look hard enough and keep statistics long enough you can find the patterns. This is how people came up with the probability matrix that PROVES a runner on first base with nobody out is more likely to score than a runner on second with one out. And this is how guys can "cheat" slot machines in Vegas.
But really, who are the ones being cheated? People are more and more reluctant to recognize the obvious limitations of electronics as they become more willing to accept, (and pay thru the arse for), the latest technologies. We are willing to replace reality with something synthetically designed to simulate it. And soon we will have been told so many times that there IS no difference that we'll believe it. And we'll be cheated out of reality.
Just look at another word: TECHNOLOGY. Tech is technical like made up of lots of parts that do things that are just magical to the average person. No means no. Negative. And one of the meanings of "log" is to achieve. Tech no achieve...y.
Okay, having said that, I use my computer a lot. I have a cell phone an X-box and a Wii. And despite the many problems I have with ALL of them, in general I get more pleasure than pain out of them although sometimes I wonder...
BUT, who are these lunatics trusting computers with their lives as they're hurtling down the road at 70 M.P.H.? Trusting computers to keep their life's savings safe? Believing that computer random is just as good as real random? These are people who'd probably rather whitewater raft or bungee jump in virtual reality; rather see the pyramids, Angkor Wat or the Great Barrier Reef on a 60 inch plasma screen; rather have sex with a robot than a real person. Well, okay there IS something to be said for that last one since the robot doesn't come with any baggage. But come on!
The longer I stay in Korea and am bottlenecked into this dependancy on electronic living the more I understand the Ahmish. I wouldn't go quite as far as them but maybe someday I'll marry a nice Ahmish gal and we'll compromise. We won't abandon technology but we'll only use the old stuff. We'll drive only vehicles we can fix ourselves. We'll play games with real cards and dice and spinners and bubble poppers and such. We'd do activities with other real people instead of e-friends. We'll chat offline. Tweeting will be the sound in our back yard. We'll virtually have sex, we won't have virtual sex. We'll raise a family of humans not Sims. We'll have a couple of dogs not a Zhu Zhu or a Tamagotchi. We'll buy things with cash, if it's still available to use. And we'll go to the store to get them instead of looking at a 3-D image of them that is "even better than the real thing."
Ahhh but who am I kidding. This would be so Thoreauian and potentially harmful to our owners that we'd be declared either insane or criminal. Or criminally insane. And we might be arrested or institutionalized if somebody can be found to leave their house long enough to go get us. It would have been worth it though. And I'd shout it from my jail cell every day.
But now I'm waxing idyllic. Even romantic. Lotta waxing today.
It's my Thursday classes. They aren't so much peopled with students as succubi and they drain every ounce of life out of me so that by Thursday night I just say, "Calgon, take me away! Serenity NOW! Balloonball!" Or whatever works. Usually I have barely enough power remaining to drink lots of beer and try to devise ways to stop kids from coming to class or to catch an illness that will last until the end of the semester. That combined with accomodation hell, the absolute absence of educational standards and practices at my workplace and the unconditional certainty of meeting with some xenophobic, ignorant and stupid treatment EVERY time I leave my room, leads to a lot of time wasted in my room watching movies and TV on my computer. A lot of time.
But today after a reasonable amount of sleep that was only interrupted a few times by rude, noisy, drunken students, I feel like I have a bit more physical and mental energy than usual. And I thought I'd get back to putting that excess marblage to work solving the problems of the world.
I saw a TV commercial recently for a Ford truck that featured computerized braking, fuel injection, guidance system, climate control, collision sensors the whole deal. And I recently chatted with some people about a hideous losing streak my character was on in a facebook role playing game I play. They all told me it was just the random roll of the die. These things got me a-thinking.
Are we really putting that much trust in computers nowadays? For my money the smart automobile shopper steers clear of all the extra wiring and computerization because it all just leads to extra headaches. And they are expensive headaches. I know from experience. I think all the specialized computer shit in vehicles nowadays is actually DESIGNED for the purpose of making vehicles impossible to repair at home, making them more expensive to repair at the service centers and making motorists visit those service centers a lot more frequently. And if you get scumbag mechanics like the ones I always seem to find, they can temporarily fix problems so that you'll have to fix the same problem a dozen times. Why not just buy a new vehicle altogether? There are lots of improvements and technoligical breakthroughs on the new models!
How often does your computer need servicing? If you're like most people it breaks down regularly. Even Bill Gates' computer screws up regularly! People believe it's because of these mysterious viruses and hackers and crap but really it's just that they aren't well made yet. Maybe they never will be. The same goes for those car parts we put all our trust in. But if we knew how volatile and undependable electronics really are we probably wouldn't buy so much. Maybe we would but we certainly wouldn't pay so much for this junk.
Here's a question for you: How many TV Repairmen do you know? How about people who fix phones or video cameras or even cameras? Nobody does this any more! Things are made poorly and repairs are hard to find or too expensive if you find them. And new updates and improvements come along just often enough to keep us buying new shit every couple of years. Whether we want to, need to or not. Here's a word to look at: capitalism. Capital means money. Ism is a doctrine or practice of support or even love. Folks, capitalism is the love of money and that is the root of all evil. Isn't it?
But the more we get herded into the electronic culture, the more we settle for the mediocrity of the products. Computer generated "random" is the best example I can think of. If you've ever played computer poker and real poker with actual concrete paper made from trees cards, you'd know beyond a doubt that there's a massive difference. There has never been a good "random" program created and there never will be. And I've played a lot of computer games with "random" card flipping, dice rolling etc.
It's like baseball. I've seen and played enough of it to know beyond a doubt that when the leadoff hitter gets on first, sac bunting him to second is never a good play. I don't need statistics to back me up, I just know from experience. But we don't trust fallable human beings any more do we? We need a computer to figure it out. Same with dice rolling or card dealing or any other supposedly "random" actions computers are designed to perform. They aren't random, they are highly organized, orderly, and structured sequences that are programmed to give the appearance of "random." It's easy for any human to tell the difference. If you look hard enough and keep statistics long enough you can find the patterns. This is how people came up with the probability matrix that PROVES a runner on first base with nobody out is more likely to score than a runner on second with one out. And this is how guys can "cheat" slot machines in Vegas.
But really, who are the ones being cheated? People are more and more reluctant to recognize the obvious limitations of electronics as they become more willing to accept, (and pay thru the arse for), the latest technologies. We are willing to replace reality with something synthetically designed to simulate it. And soon we will have been told so many times that there IS no difference that we'll believe it. And we'll be cheated out of reality.
Just look at another word: TECHNOLOGY. Tech is technical like made up of lots of parts that do things that are just magical to the average person. No means no. Negative. And one of the meanings of "log" is to achieve. Tech no achieve...y.
Okay, having said that, I use my computer a lot. I have a cell phone an X-box and a Wii. And despite the many problems I have with ALL of them, in general I get more pleasure than pain out of them although sometimes I wonder...
BUT, who are these lunatics trusting computers with their lives as they're hurtling down the road at 70 M.P.H.? Trusting computers to keep their life's savings safe? Believing that computer random is just as good as real random? These are people who'd probably rather whitewater raft or bungee jump in virtual reality; rather see the pyramids, Angkor Wat or the Great Barrier Reef on a 60 inch plasma screen; rather have sex with a robot than a real person. Well, okay there IS something to be said for that last one since the robot doesn't come with any baggage. But come on!
The longer I stay in Korea and am bottlenecked into this dependancy on electronic living the more I understand the Ahmish. I wouldn't go quite as far as them but maybe someday I'll marry a nice Ahmish gal and we'll compromise. We won't abandon technology but we'll only use the old stuff. We'll drive only vehicles we can fix ourselves. We'll play games with real cards and dice and spinners and bubble poppers and such. We'd do activities with other real people instead of e-friends. We'll chat offline. Tweeting will be the sound in our back yard. We'll virtually have sex, we won't have virtual sex. We'll raise a family of humans not Sims. We'll have a couple of dogs not a Zhu Zhu or a Tamagotchi. We'll buy things with cash, if it's still available to use. And we'll go to the store to get them instead of looking at a 3-D image of them that is "even better than the real thing."
Ahhh but who am I kidding. This would be so Thoreauian and potentially harmful to our owners that we'd be declared either insane or criminal. Or criminally insane. And we might be arrested or institutionalized if somebody can be found to leave their house long enough to go get us. It would have been worth it though. And I'd shout it from my jail cell every day.
But now I'm waxing idyllic. Even romantic. Lotta waxing today.
Monday, April 05, 2010
Here's something weird about me: when I'm ready to quit a job I know subconsciously before I know it consciously. I'll splain what I mean. I've quit several jobs teaching here in Korea. I don't recall ever missing a day with legitimate sickness, but when I'm getting to the end of a contract with a crappy school before I decide that I won't be re-signing I'll go out drinking on a Wednesday night when I have class at 8 Thursday morning. Or something like that that I almost never do. And I'll fake like I have the flu or something when I call in sick Thursday. Before going out I don't intend to miss the classes Thursday; I don't even intend to go out drinking on the Wednesday; these things just happen and they're brought on by a subconscious awareness that my job sucks and I just don't care about it any more.
Also, I find myself dreaming about the job, whatever it may be. So not only do I go to work for my regular shift, I work another 8 hours in my sleep. It's like I'm working all the time. And that ain't cool! This was the worst with drilling and KFC. I was drilling every night in my sleep while I was a driller and breading chicken in my sleep when I was a cook at KFC. I wonder if my arms were doing the motions. heh heh.
I had a fantastic weekend! Friday I went to the Tigers game and I also went on Saturday and Sunday. I walked there and back all three times so I got lots of exercise and I only drank beer at the Sunday game. A LOT of beer! Then I went out to drink some more. By myself. I hooked up with the usual bar crowd in downtown Gwangju but I really didn't go out with anyone. I teach at 2 PM on Mondays so it's not like I have to get to bed early but I've never gone out drinking on a Sunday night until yesterday. And it was the right choice.
I think my subconscious was trying to tell me something because lo and behold when I got back to the dorms the back door was locked. I've lost count how many times I've been locked out but this was probably the fifteenth time. I thought I had solved the problem when my supervisor finally relented and got me a key for the doorknob lock on the back door. I have the deadbolt key but 15 times or so one of the Idon'tcaretakers has locked the doorknob lock so I can't get in. Last night was the first time in a long time I got locked out. The doorknob had been changed! The new knob had no keyhole at all! But it still locked from the inside. And last night it was locked. I started reefing on the doors trying to open them and one of the caretakers woke up and let me in. I blasted him, (and it probably wasn't even his fault), for changing the doorknob then went to bed.
I didn't feel too great in the morning but I was okay to work. I could have gone in no problem at all. But I chose not to. I figured management would notice my absence and then I'd tell them that either we fix the doorknob problem once and for all or I'm outta here. I was almost giddy with excitement at finally getting the park out of this dump! I was even thinking that maybe if they DID change the knob, appologize, fire the asshole who's been locking me out and everything I'd STILL get the park out of here. I waited and waited. Erin called and told me some of my students asked her about me so I told her what I was doing. She just told them class was cancelled. Then I waited some more.
I decided to go out and check the doorknob just for kicks. I saw some round pieces of that blue plastic lining paper you get on stainless steel stuff that's new but the new doorknob was gone. The old one with the keyhole had returned. I figured that maybe the caretaker I blasted the night before changed the knob back.
I was pretty sure news of my strike had not been the cause for the knob switchback. Normally I think I still would have given management a piece of my mind about the slap in the face the new doorknob was. But since the problem was solved, (for now), I decided I'd just try to avoid the confrontation and stress that would be involved in yet another attempt at talking sense into the management here. So when my supervisor Peter called I did the Korean thing: I lied. I said I got too much sun the day before and had sunstroke. He told me he'd have to report it to Director Park, that I should have informed the head of the department and that it better not happen again. I didn't bother to bring up the fact that nobody informs me of anything. I had a deaf girl in my class for 6 teaching hours before I was informed about it! Exam schedules I find out from my students. Anyway, I just said, "Yeah yeah yeah, whatever. Bye."
I am obviously subconsciously just calling it in at this job now. Living for the bell. I'm done trying to make things better here. I'm gonna get out. At least that's what it seems like. I'm just tired of fighting. These guys. I know it'll be new fights anywhere else I work but at least I'll have better pay and accomodations. And I doubt I'll ever get locked out. Probly be able to shower or wash my dishes any time I want too. I may have to work a few extra hours a week and I may lose a few weeks of vacation time but I think my conscious mind is starting to come to grips with the fact that 3 years here is my limit.
So I guess I should start looking for work. I absolutely hate moving and sending out resumes and doing the immigration hula hoop jumps but I think I'll probably quit my job at Seokang even if they want me to come back. That's what my subconscious seems to be telling me. I am reminded of the old Fleetwood Mac song that says, "When the rain washes you clean you'll know." I think I know. If I start teaching in my sleep I'll know for sure it's time to go.
I added this later: The next night I had a dream in which I was teaching.
Also, I find myself dreaming about the job, whatever it may be. So not only do I go to work for my regular shift, I work another 8 hours in my sleep. It's like I'm working all the time. And that ain't cool! This was the worst with drilling and KFC. I was drilling every night in my sleep while I was a driller and breading chicken in my sleep when I was a cook at KFC. I wonder if my arms were doing the motions. heh heh.
I had a fantastic weekend! Friday I went to the Tigers game and I also went on Saturday and Sunday. I walked there and back all three times so I got lots of exercise and I only drank beer at the Sunday game. A LOT of beer! Then I went out to drink some more. By myself. I hooked up with the usual bar crowd in downtown Gwangju but I really didn't go out with anyone. I teach at 2 PM on Mondays so it's not like I have to get to bed early but I've never gone out drinking on a Sunday night until yesterday. And it was the right choice.
I think my subconscious was trying to tell me something because lo and behold when I got back to the dorms the back door was locked. I've lost count how many times I've been locked out but this was probably the fifteenth time. I thought I had solved the problem when my supervisor finally relented and got me a key for the doorknob lock on the back door. I have the deadbolt key but 15 times or so one of the Idon'tcaretakers has locked the doorknob lock so I can't get in. Last night was the first time in a long time I got locked out. The doorknob had been changed! The new knob had no keyhole at all! But it still locked from the inside. And last night it was locked. I started reefing on the doors trying to open them and one of the caretakers woke up and let me in. I blasted him, (and it probably wasn't even his fault), for changing the doorknob then went to bed.
I didn't feel too great in the morning but I was okay to work. I could have gone in no problem at all. But I chose not to. I figured management would notice my absence and then I'd tell them that either we fix the doorknob problem once and for all or I'm outta here. I was almost giddy with excitement at finally getting the park out of this dump! I was even thinking that maybe if they DID change the knob, appologize, fire the asshole who's been locking me out and everything I'd STILL get the park out of here. I waited and waited. Erin called and told me some of my students asked her about me so I told her what I was doing. She just told them class was cancelled. Then I waited some more.
I decided to go out and check the doorknob just for kicks. I saw some round pieces of that blue plastic lining paper you get on stainless steel stuff that's new but the new doorknob was gone. The old one with the keyhole had returned. I figured that maybe the caretaker I blasted the night before changed the knob back.
I was pretty sure news of my strike had not been the cause for the knob switchback. Normally I think I still would have given management a piece of my mind about the slap in the face the new doorknob was. But since the problem was solved, (for now), I decided I'd just try to avoid the confrontation and stress that would be involved in yet another attempt at talking sense into the management here. So when my supervisor Peter called I did the Korean thing: I lied. I said I got too much sun the day before and had sunstroke. He told me he'd have to report it to Director Park, that I should have informed the head of the department and that it better not happen again. I didn't bother to bring up the fact that nobody informs me of anything. I had a deaf girl in my class for 6 teaching hours before I was informed about it! Exam schedules I find out from my students. Anyway, I just said, "Yeah yeah yeah, whatever. Bye."
I am obviously subconsciously just calling it in at this job now. Living for the bell. I'm done trying to make things better here. I'm gonna get out. At least that's what it seems like. I'm just tired of fighting. These guys. I know it'll be new fights anywhere else I work but at least I'll have better pay and accomodations. And I doubt I'll ever get locked out. Probly be able to shower or wash my dishes any time I want too. I may have to work a few extra hours a week and I may lose a few weeks of vacation time but I think my conscious mind is starting to come to grips with the fact that 3 years here is my limit.
So I guess I should start looking for work. I absolutely hate moving and sending out resumes and doing the immigration hula hoop jumps but I think I'll probably quit my job at Seokang even if they want me to come back. That's what my subconscious seems to be telling me. I am reminded of the old Fleetwood Mac song that says, "When the rain washes you clean you'll know." I think I know. If I start teaching in my sleep I'll know for sure it's time to go.
I added this later: The next night I had a dream in which I was teaching.
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