Tell me if you think I'm paranoid

I got to thinking today, cuz that's what I do on a Sunday in Mokpo when I don't really have any lesson planning to do. I got to thinking about this gas bill of mine, cuz that's what you do when you're gas bill is the same price as a plane ticket to Thailand or even the Philippines. I got to thinking about all the strange things that have happened in this apartment starting way back before I even got here.

The previous tennant's name was Hayley. I know that cuz I'm still getting her bills. Everybody loved Hayley. She was by all accounts a happy, intelligent, likeable person. But she got really sick during her stay in this apartment. I don't know all of her symptoms but teachers here that knew her have told me she was losing a lot of weight, getting depressed, fatigued and just worn right out. I found a LOT of ibuprofen and acetaminofin in the apartment when I got here too so maybe headaches were one of her symptoms. And I have Hayley's old computer in my office at work. I used to be a security guard at a jail. Occasionally we would put people on 24-hour suicide watch if we found certain indicators of possible suicide. I read one of Hayley's poems on a slow day at work. If a similar poem were found in a prisoner's cell where I worked that person would be instantly put on watch.

I don't know what kind of gas bills Hayley was paying but I've been told that she was so thin, sick and chilly all the time that she probably left the heater on constantly and would have thought nothing of paying massive gas bills.

When I moved into this apartment, Feb. 26th, I had just returned from a 7-week vacation in the Philippines and was fighting the customary final week ague I seem to contract when I go ANYWHERE. It usually makes the plane trip home a pain in the ass. But then I started classes March 3rd, continued working and until somewhere in the middle of April I was having trouble breathing and feeling a bit run down like I had allergies or something. I've never had allergies before but was almost convinced I was developing them in my old age.

I complained about it to friends, because, as they might tell you, I rarely miss a chance to complain, and received advice from a few. David Morris suggested I put eucalyptus oil under my nose when I sleep at night to allow me to breathe better. He's Australian. I actually WAS using Vicks rub I had bought in the Phils. It has eucalyptus oil, camphor and menthol. I also had a menthol spray I found in Korea that worked pretty good. But now that spray is impossible to find. That happens a lot in Korea.

Another friend told me that there are a couple of steel mills nearby. Gwangyang Steel is the fourth largest producer in the world aparently. He thought that the air might be a bit harder to breathe because of the industry nearby. I was born in Hamilton, Canada's steel town. My Grandfather worked at Stelco for many years until retirement. It's the fifth largest steel producer in the world, but, (sign of the times in Canada), has recently been renamed U.S. Steel Canada. And my Dad once worked at Dofasco, another big steel company in Hamilton. So I've been a smoke-eater from birth. I doubt that would cause any breathing difficulties.

Still others were suggesting the annual Chinese sand in the air could have been the problem. I heard there was a day or two that schools in Northern South Korea were closed down because of high levels of that crud, but down here in Mokpo we went on about our work blissfully unaware. I did give some credence to that idea since China has recently become by a LANDSLIDE the most polluted country in the world and every bit of the sand we get in our eyes and teeth here is coated with whatever toxins they are pumping into the air in China these days.

I got to thinking today about when I started breathing better. It was somewhere in the beginning of April if I'm not mistaken. My boiler exploded, (and I am not exaggerating the case, it went BOOM!), in mid April I think. Then I remembered opening the windows in early April in the patio where my boiler is and opening windows in the other patio on the other side of the apartment just to get some air flow. I thought maybe it would improve the air quality and make breathing easier. It really DID improve air flow here and I think that probably did the job.

Then I got this ridiculous 437 dollar gas bill. For April. If the bill is really and truly based on accurate readings of the gas meter in my apartment then there is no question I must have had a gas leak. And in those winter months when Hayley was here, when the windows were undoubtedly closed, SHE probably had a gas leak too. That would have made her sick or certainly compounded any other sickness she may have had.

Two questions leap to mind: 1. Why was there no explosion? 2. Why couldn't Hayley or I smell the gas?

During one of many summer jobs I had while I was getting my university education I worked at a natural gas pipeline in Northern Ontario. There's a process they call "blowoff" on the pipeline where the natural gas valves are bled to ease pressure on the lines. I have smelled the rotten egg odour that natural gas is supposed to have. I would be able to identify that without any problem. But I learned from the technicians at the pipeline that processed natural gas is odourless. That rotten egg smell is a chemical additive, (sulfur based I think), to help identify leaks. I never smelled it in the apartment. Hayley probably didn't either.

While "thinking" today I looked up a few things online. I found that the concentration of natural gas in the air that would create an explosion danger would be 5-15%. Maybe the concentration was never that high. It is lighter than air so maybe it just rose too high to be ignited or smelled. But then it would be too high to cause any health trouble too.

Then I looked at the price of natural gas. It's supposed to be about 32 cents per cubic meter. I looked at my bill and found that I was charged for 546 cubic meters. That works out to "only" $175.

Are natural gas prices that much more in Korea? Almost triple the price in America? Am I being ripped off by the gas company? Is the Mokpo gas company skipping the costly odorant adding process and selling odourless natural gas to its customers at regular odorized gas prices? Is this illegal in Korea like it is in civilized countries? There are still countries that just burn natural gas when they find it while looking for oil. THIS is illegal too but it happens. There are many things in Korea that are technically illegal but just not enforced. Was my boiler explosion a water pressure explosion like I have assumed up till now or was it possibly a natural gas ignition? Am I being slowly gassed to death in my own apartment? Or am I just being paranoid?

Ever get the feeling you're not appreciated?

I've been living in Mokpo for just a few days over 3 months now. That's a dozen weekends, most of which I've spent elsewhere. But I HAVE done some exploring around Mokpo. Not much going on here. I went last weekend to the two spots that are supposed to be the action spots for us waygooks, Wa Bar and the New York Bar, but they were dead. Maybe it was the hour of the day I went there. I'm not sure. But there were no waygooks or customers and I think it was around midnight Friday night.

But that's a good thing. That's what I was hoping for when I came here. A quiet town where I could save up some money. Far enough from Seoul so that I don't travel to I Tae Won on Friday night and spend a drunk, expensive weekend there. I haven't done that yet. And things have been okay as far as finances are concerned. I had to pay the moving expenses and stock up on food and supplies in the new house but that was to be expected. I heard from another teacher here that management has agreed to give me the relocation allowance the school usually gives to teachers who move from overseas. That was nice to hear. Both new teachers are supposed to be getting that. We haven't seen it yet but... how shall I say this nicely... the people in the office who are in charge of helping out foreign staff have to this point shown monumental neglect to that part of their duties.

Well I guess that wasn't nicely was it? But I really don't know how to say something like this nicely. I've been here 3 months and have yet to receive a bill with my name on it. Well, that's not altogether true. I told the people at the Mokpo U. Language Education Office when I first arrived that I will be needing cable internet immediately. After waiting a week and getting nothing I got it myself. And I've received 3 bills with my name, spelled correctly, on them. All the bills were for the correct amount. I even ordered a special kind of Teevo-like deal which was useless, so I had that cancelled. Because I don't speak Korean that well I could do none of this over the phone so I walked down to the Hanaro Cable office a few times and played charades with their English service provider. She could really use a refresher course. But I got it done.

Things like this are a whole lot easier for people who speak Korean. They can just call up, change the name on the gas, cable, telephone or electric account, inquire as to whether there are any outstanding charges and ba-da-boom ba-da-bing we're in business. It shouldn't take more than a few minutes. The last place I lived it was done over the phone while me and the former tennant watched! The real estate agent called the various utility offices, asked for a current bill balance, subtracted that from the former tennant's deposit refund, changed the bills to my name and that was it. Three months and STILL this hasn't been done for me here. And it's not like I haven't gone into the office and told them what I needed done. It's just that they don't see any urgency at all unless the foreign teacher is very demanding. I've been trying really hard to be nice. Fat load of good THAT'S done me!

I'll give you an example. There was a gal teaching here a while ago whose boiler broke. She went into the office and asked the same people who are working there now to get it fixed for her. They did so in a day. Why? She said she was on strike until it was taken care of. Now if that seems a bit extreme to you, I'll tell you what you get when you are NICE.

MY boiler exploded too. In fact the week before another teacher's boiler broke down too. It's hard to see this as coincidence. I think Mokpo U. went shopping for really cheap apartments for their foreign staff and found these places that are cheap because they have old and shitty boilers. Just a guess though. There's no way of knowing. Anyway I went in and informed the people at the office that I couldn't take showers, wash my dishes, do laundry etc. After many false promises of getting my boiler fixed, in just a shade under three weeks it was replaced. During those three weeks I went into the office various times and people were expressing their condolances about my situation but doing exactly nothing to help me out. It was explained to me that the owner of this apartment didn't want to spring for a new boiler. There was even a week in there when the plan was to move me into a dorm room temporarily and then move me AGAIN to a new apartment. Is that monumental? I think that's monumental.

But back to the bill situation. What I told the people at the office was that I wanted the home phone disconnected, (the thing was useless anyway. I couldn't hear anyone's voice on it and there was no volume control), I wanted the cable bills I was receiving for the former teacher's cable, (which was WAY better than what I got but was disconnected by the Hanaro guys who did MY cable), to be disconnected, and I wanted gas and electric bills. Preferably in my name. There was also one mystery bill I had recieved. Very colourful but with no indication of what the hell it was for. I was informed that it was the security/janitorial fee. 50,000 won. I asked if that was for a month or a year because one of the other teachers told me it was for a month. I couldn't believe that since there are 60 apartments all paying 50 bucks, that's 3000 dollars. And in an apartment complex with 6 buildings that works out to 18 grand. I've only seen a few security guards and only during the day shift. When I see them they are sweeping up cigarette butts in the parking lot, telling my mover he can't park where he wants to park, telling me he didn't receive the food package he DID receive or sleeping. I was told it was for a year. That seemed reasonable. So I paid it. Well it turns out that it actually IS monthly and that water is also a part of that. How do I know? Because as I type today I have no water in my apartment. None. I have no idea when it will be turned back on.

I received the second colourful bill about a week ago. All the tenants did. It's the bill for the month of April. The due date is June 2nd. I had it for a week and didn't pay so they shut off my fucking water???? Today is Friday, May 30th. I have to teach at 9:30. I wake up to an apartment with no water. The memory of three weeks without hot water still fresh in my mind and having THIS week gone in and in person AND writing BEGGED the people at the office to get my bills sorted out I decided to stop being nice. I called the person who I've been begging and told her I was taking the day off. I also told her to get the damn bills taken care of or I quit. She said she had paid my electric bill. This is yet another story. I had received no electric bills that I can remember but DID receive a dangerous looking notice stuck to my door. I showed it to her and she told me it was a warning that my electricity would be cut off if I didn't pay the bill I had not received. So she got that taken care of. Yay. But I told her I didn' t want her paying my bills, I wanted her to arrange to have bills sent to me. Anyway, the big bill bomb is yet to come. I'm saving it for last.

I went out this morning at 8:30 after I was told my classes would be cancelled and paid the colourful bill. I asked the bank teller, (in charade), if water was part of the bill. She told me it was and circled the portion of it that was water. It's the top one. See the circled part? It's for 4,410. That's 4 bucks. Why the fluent English speaker at the Mokpo U. office couldn't have done that for me is still a mystery. Why my water is shut off over a 4 dollar bill is an even bigger mystery. But living here as long as I have kind of washes the mystery away. If you know what I'm saying. If you don't, I'll tell you that on the way to pay this bill this morning at 8:00 or so I was waiting for the elevator. I live on the 6th floor. There was a little girl from the 7th floor coming down the stairs to go to school. Maybe 10 years old or so. She saw me, stopped, backed up and hid on the 7th floor until I had safely boarded the elevator.

In class yesterday I asked a few students if they would prefer boys or girl children. One girl said she wanted boys. When I asked why she was pretty hesitant but explained that she was afraid of "sexual criminals". I took her hesitance to mean she was afraid of foreign sexual criminals because there aren't any Korean sex offenders don't you know. But, yes, there have recently been some stories of foreign English teachers, (the most famous being a Canuck), who were posting stories of pedophilia in Korea on their websites. Aberrations of course. This probably has much to do with the reason they are no longer IN Canada. But it has made an already xenophobic society much moreso. So anyway, now I'm just waiting for my water to be turned on.

I'm also waiting for my gas to be turned off. You see after the boiler exploded back in April I spent almost the entire month of April using gas only to cook food on my stove. This week on the begging day a man came to my door. In the middle of nap time of course. He had a mysterious paper in his hand and a demanding glare. I tried to communicate with him using charade, (at which Korea has given me MAD skills), but he made no effort at all. So I called the office and handed Mr. Glare my phone. The man talked to the lady who is in charge of all this. He closed my phone, said thank you and left. I didn't find out what was said or what he wanted. The office didn't think it was necessary to call me back. The next day I received my gas bill for the month of April. Are you ready for this? 437,000 won. That's 437 bucks. For a month of using my stove. Coincidentally the due date on this bill is also June 2nd. I haven't yet lost gas but I'm expecting to. Because I am not going to pay that kind of dough. I have never paid more than maybe 70,000 won for gas and that was in the winter when I heat my apartment, (and with a functioning boiler).

So during my tirade on the phone this morning I told the people at the office to figure out exactly what in the name of FUCK is going on there too! And if I'm reading the bill correctly I think the charge for the previous month was just about 300,000 won too. As you can imagine I checked other mail boxes when I received this bill. Like about 10 other mail boxes. Every one of them contained a gas bill between 30,000 and 40,000 won for the same month that I am getting railroaded for 437 grand. In my 8 years in Korea I've had many Koreans comment on how low my utility bills are. Because I don't heat my apartment as often or as hot, I don't have showers as long, I do dishes in the sink, not under running hot water etc. Here I'm suddenly and for the first time paying WAY more than the Koreans. I'm wondering if that's part of the gas co-op in this building. The foreigner pays 10 times what the Koreans pay. They do that in Korea. Well I don't know about the foreigner deal but sometimes they add up all the bills in an apartment complex and average them out. The tennants use more gas that way cuz nobody wants to be the one not getting their money's worth. Anyway, I'm sure that's not the case. Well, hopeful.

Next week is a short week. We get Friday off. It's Memorial Day in Korea. This week was a short one too but not really planned. In fact I'm a bit pissed off because I had my classes nicely staggered so that after the holiday next week they'll all be on the same page. Now this will fuck that up. Oh well. It looks like game week next week for some of my classes. Woohoo!

This week I received a phone bill for the home phone I have that doesn't work and I have ripped out of the wall. I also received a cable TV bill in the name of the previous teacher, Hayley and just as a bonus I got one for the teacher BEFORE her! Some French sounding name. I think she's the one who got her boiler fixed in one day. I have one short week, oral tests, then the final exams. That's what's left this semester. Then we get a whopping 2-week holiday before we teach hagwon classes in July and August in lieu of actual holidays we have earned. Probably an easy schedule but I'm expecting a class in the early morning and a class late at night. Cuz that's the way things are done here. They put the same amount of effort into scheduling as they do into troubleshooting for the foreign professors.

I keep saying "foreign professors". It may sound a bit awkward to readers. That's just what we're called here. And it's accurate. Not just at Mokpo U. but other places as well I've been treated like livestock. A commodity. That's what I was hoping NOT to get from Mokpo U. but I've seen very little concern for the foreign teachers here. We have a photocopier on our floor that has been on its last legs for a month now. And since we all have a minimum of 22 hours a week to teach before overtime kicks in, (and we all work split shifts with a bit of overtime), and have HUGE classes, (some over 40), we absolutely MUST have a good copier. The copier has been completely dead for a few days now. The people at the office have been informed but I don't foresee a lot of action on that front.

On a related note, what I HAVE seen a lot of action on is an office on our floor being prepared for one of the Korean English professors. Korean professors at Mokpo U. have a luxurious 9-hour workweek and when any REAL professor wants an English class, it's added to one of the foreigners' schedules regardless of convenience to the foreigner. There were two or three workers fervently assembling BRAND NEW office furniture for the Korean professor this week. The halls were littered with factory fresh, boxed, office equipment better than anything any of us foreign professors has. For the price of the chair alone we could have had our dead copier serviced. Hell for the price of half the Korean professor's office furniture we could have had our useless copier replaced. But there are unspoken but very well understood priorities to think of.

Now before you think I'm gonna go postal here, I have to defend the people in the office I've been slaggin so far. A person who doesn't understand Korea like I do might not. But the fact is, (and this goes for almost all schools that employ livestock like us), there are no people hired to take care of the needs of foreign professors. That would involve using some of the ample government funding provided FOR us foreign professors ON us foreign professors. This is never a popular office strategy. The office is searched for the person or people with the best English and the task of fielding the problems and complaints of the foreigners falls upon them. For no extra pay. So you can understand why there might be monumental neglect of these duties.

In 1866 in Korea Tae Won Kun, father of King Ko Jong of the Yi Dynasty, was serving as regent for his son. He regarded contact with Westerners as dangerous. And he "closed the country with a chain lock". He fought French Catholic missionaries and killed thousands of Korean converts. He killed Germans, Chinese and Americans who were trying to create trade with Korea. In Chongno in the middle of Seoul, and throughout the country he erected stone monuments that read, "Western barbarians invade our land. If we do not fight, we must then appease them. To appease them is to sell off our nation. Ten thousand generations of Koreans must always bear this statement in mind." His grandson was the last king before Japan annexed Korea in 1910 and dragged them kicking and screaming into the 20th century.

I sometimes look around Korea and see people protesting American beef, Japanese textbooks, foreign influence of any kind and wonder if they aren't thinking of Tae Won Kun's warning. It's only been two or three generations of the 10,000 he said must fight the foreign barbarians. I'm here trying to help myself, granted, but I'm also trying to help my students. I know the benefits English provides to any Korean. I get a bit tired of being treated like a Western barbarian.

Hey, I just tried my water and it's back on! I'm gonna go take a shower before my gas gets turned off and I can't HEAT that water. Life in Korea. This is why American soldiers get hardship pay.