If there's one thing that burns my ass it's when people try to force protection on me. I particularly hate it when people make laws to force protection on me. I guess it's because it's a shot to my pride. It's like somebody is saying I'm not smart enough to protect myself so they are making it illegal to be stupid. Like seatbelts. I don't think the cops should be able to give an adult a ticket for not wearing one. It's rightfully the decision of that person. The only person he/she could be endangering is him/herself. Or marijuana. Pot smoking endangers the lungs of the users. Possibly the brain but I don't know if there's any conclusive science to that. I DO know that nobody has ever been attacked and harmed by someone flipping out on weed. If anything smoking pot protects other people from the smoker cuz it just mellows the user out. But it's illegal for everyone. It would make much more sense to have a law that makes marijuana use mandatory for highly exciteable people. By making pot illegal and forcing everyone to wear seatbelts lawmakers are sending the general public the message that they don't think we're smart enough to make the right choices on these issues.
By far the biggest example of what I'm talking about is government in general. That's basically what they do isn't it? Make decisions for us dummies? Yet they say they trust our decisions to vote for the person who will make the right decisions for us. Our system of government doesn't make a whole lot of sense but that's for another post.
There are all kinds of inconsistencies in security rules these days. I'll give you an example of one thing I think people are forced to be UNDER-secure about: signatures. Everything you do these days requires a signature. 99% of the time they're totally unnecessary and most people don't know this but in a large number of cases when people require us to sign some form it is actually illegal. Forms that you MUST sign are very rare. But it's become a habit hasn't it? Trying to make things look official you get a signature. Here in Korea it's a very big trend. And invariably the space they leave for the signature is too small. And often they force you to sign a paper and then they give it to YOU! That happened just 2 days ago when I had my cable box removed. The technician filled out some spaces on a form that was incomprehensible to me anyway, asked for my signature then gave it to me. Kept no copy for himself. He just gave me my signature. Nice of him. And it has happened to me quite a few times here in Korea.
Think of all the things people can do with a signature. They can sign for a hotel room or room service. They can write checks, even walk into a bank and withdraw money if they know your account number. And what if the form you are handed says something like "I admit to the planning and execution of the bombing of the WTC". If you sign it, you did it! Yet we sign stuff all the time don't we? Often without reading it or having any idea what it is. I've started just signing with my initials. I sometimes even write Homer Simpson instead of my own name. One time during my recent trip to the Philippines I was asked to sign a drink bill and I just scribbled and scribbled and scribbled until the bill was almost completely black with ink.
Yet some of the people who are the most cavalier about spreading their signatures throughout the world have triple encrypted, multi-password protected, firewall supported security systems on their computers. They wouldn't want anyone to see the last email they sent!
I've never been one for computer security. It has caused me far more problems than it has solved. I had Norton Antivirus for a day. It bogged my computer down so much and found so many viruses that I was beginning to think IT was the biggest virus I had. I removed it and haven't had a computer meltdown yet. There's no way it found as many viruses as it told me it did. But for a day I was getting pretty paranoid. I thought maybe people were reading my email or scanning my hard drives. Then I thought about what I have on my computer. Other than a few nekkid pics I don't have anything to hide. And if there really were people hacking in to see what I've got on here, I figure smarts like that should be rewarded. They can go ahead and view my nekkid pics.
But the people at Microsoft are trying to force me to be more secure. About 20 times a day I am told that my firewall is switched off or my computer might be at risk or there are important security updates I need to install. PPPppbbbbbttttthhhhhbbbbbbttttt! Generally they cause more problems than they solve. I do an Adaware scan, disk cleanup and defrag every so often and that's as secure as I figure I need to be. I sometimes even download a virus scan program, use it once then nuke it.
My recent problems with internet cable are, I believe, the result of too much security as well. I can no longer use Yahoo Messenger because it doesn't work when my computer's security level is at "medium" and the cable that I am using for internet, Hanaro, doesn't work when my computer's setting is any lower than "medium". The cable is too secure for its own good. It's the same thing as the seatbelts really. I am aware that through Yahoo Messenger I could get files sent to me that will be damaging to my computer. I am willing to take that risk and I resent anyone denying me the freedom to take that risk.
I really great example of how silly things are getting out there is my Canadian bank account. I live in Korea. I got the account before coming here with the intention of using it for 2 things: to make internet transfer payments on my locker where I have some of my belongings stored in Canada and for emergency withdrawals when I'm in, say, the Philippines and my Korean bank card won't work. I specifically asked when I got the account if I could make withdrawals from bank machines in the Philippines and was assured that it would be no problem. I went to the Philippines and had to beg for money in the airport because the card didn't work. Then when I convinced an airport security guard that if he lent me 50 bucks for the airport tax now, I'd send him 400 bucks later. He did and I did. So I made it home to Korea whereupon I undertook a lengthy process of trying to do something about my impotent bank card. What it came down to was that for security reasons they can't do anything online or over the phone. So there was nothing I could do. I eventually met a guy who was a banker in Canada and he made a few calls and got my problem solved for me. But what kind of logic is there to a bank account that allows me to make payments, transfer funds etc. online, but doesn't allow me to apply for international service, adjust my daily limit or things like that? It's not logic, it's paranoia.
I recently had my account frozen because I was "asked" if I would like to increase my security by choosing not one, not two, not three, not four, but FIVE additional new passwords for my account. When I chose to ignore the offer they froze my account. I eventually gave in and chose the damn passwords. A lot of good they did me. A very short time later some chick named Crystal McLeod tried to withdraw 1000 bucks from my account. It was a helluvan ordeal trying to get somebody to allow me to send email or talk on an insecure phone line to explain this problem but eventually after spending almost a grand on phone bills being referred from my bank to another person to another person to another person and so on I got an agency called the internet fraud agency of Canada or something like that and they were able to take my details over the phone and get something done. The 1000 bucks was returned to my account.
I wish I could remember that number.
I checked my account Friday. I was going to make an etransfer to the place where my stuff is stored. I found two withdrawals of about 700 bucks each that I hadn't made. I sent an email to my bank's customer service representative and he, (a guy named Jeff), said there was nothing he could do about it online and left me with a list of phone numbers I could call. I've tried several of them and they don't work. The number of my bank is the only one I know will work but I have to call them when they're open. And then I'll be referred to twenty different people again. For security reasons.
Somebody has hacked into my SUPER safe account! It's so safe I can't exchange information about it by phone or email. It's so safe I need 6 passwords. But for the second time in less than a year someone has stolen money from it! There were two payments made to a Canadian Tire Mastercard. I got the number on my list of payees on my account. So probably while the person was doing this, I could have used the credit card number to charge all kinds of stuff. But I didn't notice it in time. The payments to the card were made March 10th and 12th. After that the card was cancelled.
In order to do internet banking from my account you need my number and my password. There exists only one piece of paper that I know of with that information on it. It's beside me as I type this here in Korea. Also whoever stole my money created a new payee on my account which included the credit card number. There are no Canadian Tires here in Korea. Security was breached in Canada. Maybe someone was picking through the garbage behind my bank, maybe my bank somehow made a mistake and billed my account erroneously, maybe there is another David MacCannell and that caused a mix-up, or maybe someone stole my information from the internet or from the bank records. Either way I'm out 1400 bucks and I'm not too happy about it.
I've told the customer "service" guy that I want to close my account. Guess what the reply will be. Sorry for security reasons we can't do anything online or over the phone. Because of tight security I will have to go to my bank in person to close my account that has been accessed illegally TWICE because of bad security. What's to stop the Canadian Tire Bandit from getting a new credit card, maxing it out and paying it off from my account again while I'm wading through the "security" measures to try to secure my money? I don't see why I can't call somebody, tell them my 6 passwords, my bank card number, my Mother's maiden name etc. and get them to wire the money to my bank here in Korea. They probably need me to be there so they can get my signature. Cuz like we established earlier, that's so very secure isn't it?
The bottom line is I'm not going to try to make everything 100% secure in my life because then I won't be able to trust anyone. And can you ever really be 100% secure? I thought my bank was pretty secure. I trusted Canada Trust. And I don't know if I'll ever find out who's ripping me off but it might be one of the workers at my bank.
I will continue to be careful. Sometimes even foolish with my trust. And I'll probably continue to get burned for it because there are people out there, (bastards), who want to take advantage of people's trust. Money makes people do terrible things.
There are people who would use my story as an example of why the internet shoud be "regulated". But that would be just another example of other people forcing protection on us. I lost 1400 bucks and I won't likely get it back. But I made the decision for myself to use internet banking. It might have been a bad decision or a stupid one but I figure 1400 bucks is a small price to pay for the freedom to make that decision for myself.
There have been times when I was the guy who someone had to trust. What if the security guard at the airport didn't trust me? There are times in everyone's life when they need to be trusted. In an overprotected, paranoid society nobody would ever stop to help a neighbour fix a flat tire. Nobody would stop and offer help at the scene of an accident.
So I'm not going to let this incident turn me into a less trusting person. Maybe I should but I won't. But I sure hope they can get me my money back. I hope they catch the jerk who stole the money from me too. Just for the pain I'm gonna have to go through informing my bank about what has happened I'd like to beat that Canadian Tire Bandit about the head with his/her own computer monitor.
Saturday, March 22, 2008
OINK
Another week goes by. Nothing really noteworthy happened at work. Classes are going well. This week there was a lot of M.T. That's "membership training". It's just a Korean euphamism for drinking soju with the new classmates, overcoming crippling shyness by playing drinking games, getting fall-down-staggering-sloppy drunk then suffering the consequences the next day together. You know, bonding!
It's part of the Korean drinking culture I really like. When I think of some of the benders I've been on in my time, there really are few things that can bring you closer to someone than helping each other through a night of inebriation. I mean how much do you love a person in the morning when you hear they had to clean up your puke? THAT'S a true friend! You'd give them a big hug if you weren't so hung over. And what words could be used to accurately describe the appreciation felt for a bud who hears you say something like, "Was your other eye as beautiful as that one, Captain?" or "Your kids could use a positive role model like me." or "A week off heroine? We should celebrate!" and diverts your attention? And then there are the nights when YOU are the person helping a friend. Alcohol. Its wonders are endless. I'm enjoying a nice bottle of Chianti now.
But students here go with the 75 cent bottles of soju. Can't afford Chianti. I guess it could be considered the Silent Sam of Korea. Remember when you didn't have enough to get a six pack of beer but there was a sale on Silent Sam? Next to Mogen David, (which I had analyzed at the lab and found it to be rotten Welch's grape juice), and anything home-made, (particularly by friends of Portuguese heritage), probably the nastiest wine on the planet. But it does the trick. It was Silent Sam for me. But everyone has their "Silent Sam" when they're growing up and learning to drink. You take what you can get sometimes. And despite the fact that it was the cause of some cranium splitting headaches, a few moments of social awkwardness you were informed of the next day, and maybe even a few big problems, the memories associated with it are mostly good ones. I think soju is the same for these kids. The other day I took a walk between classes and I saw quite a few kids just throwing blankets on any grassy spots on campus and breaking out the drinking apparatus. It gave me a few misty memories of underage drinking. Not that these kids are underage. But I did most of my drinking on the cheap in my high school days when I wasn't actually supposed to be doing it. Maybe the possibility of getting caught added to the fun. THERE'S a visit to the psychiatrist that I will never make.
Anyway, because of M.T. classes are not full. So I've been doing fun exercises and falling behind in the textbooks. Not to worry, I planned for this. I knew all about M.T.
But it's the weekend! And I'm spending it at home in Mokpo this time. I had to get my cable fixed. I needed the cable TV cancelled and removed and I wanted a technician to come to my house and explain to me why Yahoo Messenger won't work with the new cable. I had KT Telecom cable in Yangju and Yahoomess. worked like a hotdamn! No problems at all. I have made no changes to my computer since then, yet with the new cable Yahoo messenger won't work. It just disappears after I enter my username and password. When the guy installed the internet I saw him raise my security from "low-medium" to "medium" setting. I tried to lower my security setting and wasn't allowed to. A warning came up saying programs would not work on this setting. So I figured I needed to customize the security setting somehow. But I don't have the confidence to monkey around with that kind of technical stuff yet. So I asked if I could get the technician who is removing my cable TV box to give it a whirl for me. Completely forgetting that I AM IN KOREA! I do that sometimes.
I went to Hanaro Cable and talked in person with Eun Ja, the local "English" service provider. She deals with the English speaking customers and, bless her heart, she's trying but I use quotes because it ain't English she's speaking. She's got her own special version of our language that is quite worthy of analysis, (by someone who cares about stuff like that), because it's uniquely non-mainstream Korean, yet not in a better way. I suspect she got an English speaking hagwon teacher to write her an English sample to present at an interview which got her the position of helping English speakers at Hanaro Cable. Happens all the time. She is just fractionally better than trying to communicate to someone who doesn't speak a lick of English. Which is why I had to go in person because trying to communicate with her on the phone is an exercise in futility. But I have to say I appreciate the effort.
Anyway, she explained to me that the reason I wasn't getting any new shows on the cable system I was paying 8000 won a month for was because there ARE no new shows till June. When the guy(s) installed it they plugged the bare cable into my TV and I saw about 100 channels. Lots of English and sports channels. The ones I'm interested in, of course. Then they rerouted the cable through this box that flashes a friendly "Hello! Welcome to Hana TV." when I turn it on. It looks to be something like what I understand Teevo to be. The box records stuff and if you happen to miss a show you can just ring it up and watch it commercial free with fast forward, pause, rewind etc. Sounds good right? Well recently there was a HUGE game in the Olympic qualifying baseball tournament between Korea and Canada and I know for a fact it was on KBS. I searched and searched. But couldn't find it. The Arnold Palmer Invitational was on TV but wasn't recorded. NOTHING new was recorded. I looked through the entire library of stuff on the box an nothing was more recent than October. So it was a box full of old shows. WOW! AWESOME! And with this box connected I got 15 channels instead of the 100 I KNOW my TV can get. So I'm paying 8000 won a month for WORSE TV! OINK! OINK! OINK!
By the way Canada beat Korea in that game. I still haven't seen it but looked it up on the internet. Now Canada, Korea and Taiwan get to play in the Olympic baseball tourney in Beijing. Anyhoo, of course I wanted the stupid box removed. Not only was it limiting my TV from 100 channels to 15, it made this camera flash noise every 10 seconds that was quite annoying. So I told Eun Ja. She pleaded that there would be new shows in June. Maybe. I just didn't really feel like keeping the service till then. Paying 8 grand for diminished service is something I can't imagine people doing elsewhere. So we agreed to disconnect that. Then I tried to explain to her the problem I was having with Yahoo Messenger. It was not going well. But I gave up and just told her to get the guy who removes the cable TV box to check my computer. She agreed. I thought my problems were over. But I forgot I AM IN KOREA.
Close to the Hanaro office there's a little temple and a bit of a hike up a hill to a nice view of the ocean and the city of Mokpo. So I decided to get some exercise. The temple, (forget the name Seuk Nam Sa or something like that), was cool. Some interesting pictures at the base of the roof. I've seen many temples in Korea and other places. They're all basically the same but at the base of the roof are some pictures depicting stories of Buddhas and they are always very cool. This one was, (As far as I could imagine), the story of a monk who followed some footprints to an ox and eventually tamed the ox. The ox turned from brown to white as it became more enlightened. Soon the monk could ride the ox and play his flute while on its back. But then the ox died and the monk missed it and told children of it. I couldn't figure out the rest of the story. I'm sure there's more to the story but I enjoy making up my own stories as I look at the pictures.
So I'm hiking up the hill and EXACTLY as I get to the summit, and am completely out of breath, the phone rings. It's a service guy from Hanaro. He speaks very good English. He asked me what I wanted to do. So I told him. He asked me all about my problems with the cable and... in ... very ... laboured ... sentences ... I ... told ... him exactly what I'd tried to tell Eun Ju. I need to do more hiking. I'm WAY out of shape. But eventually I caught my breath and told him what the problems were. I asked if I could get just the bare cable with 100 channels and he assured me that it was "impossible". Like I had been hallucinating. I know I saw the guy press the button on my TV remote. You know the button you press when the TV goes through all the channels and programs them into its memory. It went on for a long time. And I saw lots of good channels. But he assured me it was "impossible". So I said fine, just take the box out and cancel the cable TV. I was pretty sure that the cable I had was hooked up to some other service and that that was where the 100 channels came from. So I was hoping to save 8 grand a month and get GOOD cable TV.
Then he asked about the internet. I told him it was fine except that Yahoo Messenger wasn't working. Of course he asked the requisite questions you ask when you're dealing with an idiot. Did you use the correct password and username? Was your capslock button on? etc. After I patiently endured those questions, he went on to do the other standard move here. Get the customer to do your work for you. I swear the phrase should be "Pass the won" not "Pass the buck". Cuz even though they didn't invent it, Koreans are masters of it. He says to me, "Why don't you get another messenger program?" No I don't want to do that. "Well I'm sure lots of other programs like NATE or HANMAIL will work." Yeah, sure, get all my friends to download the same SHYTE Korean programs so they can chat with me. Also, the only way I'd be able to contact most of my friends and family is thru Yahoo Messenger and since it doesn't work I don't have their yahoomess. names and I can't for the life of me remember them off by heart. No let's just try to fix this problem. I told him to send someone who can fix it. He said it might happen next day at 2 or maybe in 2 or 3 days. I ask why the guy who removes the cable TV box can't be the same one to check my computer and he says it's "impossible". So I thank him and compliment him on his English service.
I continued hiking. Seconds later another guy called. He had zero English. I didn't understand what he said but I assumed it was the guy who was gonna disconnect my TV box. So in Korean I asked him to come the next day at 2. I am sure he understood before he hung up. Seconds later a girl with extremely limited English called me. She asked me when I'd be available to have my TV box disconnected. I told her that I had just talked to the guy about that. She didn't understand. I told her in Korean. She didn't understand. I then said a time, (2 o'clock), in Korean. She understood. Seconds later I got a call from Eun Ja. She asked me if I wanted my TV and my internet cancelled. I tried to rehash what we'd laboured over in the office maybe 30 minutes before but talking to her on the phone is impossible. So in Korean I told her TV-no need, internet-need. Seconds later I got a call from a guy who spoke passable English. He was the technician who was gonna check my computer. He said he'd come by at 2 the next day. Seconds later... I'm not kidding... I got a call from a woman who spoke Korean at lightning speed. All I could understand was Hanaro Cable. Then I said, "Hangul mal mot hayo." That means I can't speak Korean. She unceremoniously hung up on my ass.
So the next day I'm at work at 12:30 and I get a call. It's the guy whose gonna disconnect my cable TV. He's at my house! Imagine a cable guy coming EARLY!!! I told him in Korean that I was at work and I'd be home at 2. The time we'd agreed upon? He said okay. Seconds later... again I'm not kidding... I got a call from the technician who was coming to fix my Yahoomess. He was at my house too! I should have bought a lottery ticket that day I swear to God. Two cable guys being early! Those are the longest odds I'm ever gonna beat in my life. Just my luck there was no way to place a bet on it. So I tell him to come at 2 too.
They both came around 2 o'clock. The TV guy disconnected the box and left me with a vastly inferior bare cable wire than I had before Hanaro reared its ugly head around these parts. Somehow the cable is now only the 15 crappy channels I had with the cable box installed. The hundred channels I had previously on the bare cable somehow magically disappeared! I asked him how to hook up my Xbox so I could use Xbox Live and play games with other people online but he had no idea. Then minutes later the computer guy came. I showed him very slowly what happens when I try to log onto Yahoomess. Then I showed him the security settings and told him I thought I needed to customize them. I'm pretty sure he understood but disagreed on the basis that I couldn't possibly know more about MY computer than him. He sat down at my computer and started typing and clicking and doing all kinds of stuff on my computer like he was playing Starcraft. I couldn't follow him at all. But the upshot of the whole deal was that he couldn't fix it. First he told me I had to reinstall Windows XP. This has happened to me before. It's what they say when they don't know what the problem is but want to save face. By this time the TV cable guy was with us. They both assured me I had to reinstall Window XP. I told them I didn't. Repeatedly. They got the picture. Then they told me I didn't have enough space on my harddrive for the Messenger program to work. Well it just so happens that I did regular maintainence a few days before. I cleaned both my disks and defragged them too. I have 17 gigs on one harddrive and 11 on the other. Plenty of room for Messenger. So they decided to play the trusty virus card. They both assured me that despite their misdiagnosed Windows and harddrive problems, they were very sure I had a virus. Dipshits. They offered to take my computer and, (in 3 or 4 days), fix the problem. I flatly refused. I let a guy do that once before and he replaced all my expensive, superior hardware with cheap inferior stuff that it was hard to tell from the other. Not gonna happen again. Besides there's March Madness happening all week. You can watch all the game live, or recorded on ncaa.com. This is the only basketball I ever watch except the live stuff. So I'm not gonna surrender my computer at this time.
Well they tried to get Eun Ja involved a few times. They called her and she tried to communicate to me what they were saying. I had no idea what she was saying so I thanked her and hung up. Then when they changed their story from replace Windows to not enough space on harddrive they called her again. AGAIN I couldn't understand her but I had understood the guys who speak less English. Anyway, I asked her not to try to help any more. lol We didn't call her when they tried the virus story.
So I basically told these guys to hit the road thanking them and being nice even though they had lied repeatedly to me, done nothing to help me and may have attempted to screw me big time and left me with about 85 fewer TV channels and, (I would find out later), a TON of adjustments made to my computer that I would have to UNdo. While he was at my computer the guy tried all kinds of things that changed the settings from what I'm comfortable with to what he thought, (and was wrong), would fix the problem. I am STILL finding things that I have to fix. Word to the wise: don't let a Korean on your computer for more than 2 minutes or it'll never be the same again. He changed fonts, favourites, settings, erased websites, names, passwords all kinds of stuff that I have been boggling my mind to retrieve all day long to fix what he fucked up.
HOWEVER, in the spirit of the new positivity I've found in Mokpo, I still have effective internet and I won't be charged for the cable TV I had, as far as I know. I can still use Yahoo beta. I just can't use webcam or send files or talk into a mike. AND internet is about half the price of what the GOOD internet was in Yangju. So it's a small price to pay I guess.
Oh, and by the way, OINK means Only IN Korea.
It's part of the Korean drinking culture I really like. When I think of some of the benders I've been on in my time, there really are few things that can bring you closer to someone than helping each other through a night of inebriation. I mean how much do you love a person in the morning when you hear they had to clean up your puke? THAT'S a true friend! You'd give them a big hug if you weren't so hung over. And what words could be used to accurately describe the appreciation felt for a bud who hears you say something like, "Was your other eye as beautiful as that one, Captain?" or "Your kids could use a positive role model like me." or "A week off heroine? We should celebrate!" and diverts your attention? And then there are the nights when YOU are the person helping a friend. Alcohol. Its wonders are endless. I'm enjoying a nice bottle of Chianti now.
But students here go with the 75 cent bottles of soju. Can't afford Chianti. I guess it could be considered the Silent Sam of Korea. Remember when you didn't have enough to get a six pack of beer but there was a sale on Silent Sam? Next to Mogen David, (which I had analyzed at the lab and found it to be rotten Welch's grape juice), and anything home-made, (particularly by friends of Portuguese heritage), probably the nastiest wine on the planet. But it does the trick. It was Silent Sam for me. But everyone has their "Silent Sam" when they're growing up and learning to drink. You take what you can get sometimes. And despite the fact that it was the cause of some cranium splitting headaches, a few moments of social awkwardness you were informed of the next day, and maybe even a few big problems, the memories associated with it are mostly good ones. I think soju is the same for these kids. The other day I took a walk between classes and I saw quite a few kids just throwing blankets on any grassy spots on campus and breaking out the drinking apparatus. It gave me a few misty memories of underage drinking. Not that these kids are underage. But I did most of my drinking on the cheap in my high school days when I wasn't actually supposed to be doing it. Maybe the possibility of getting caught added to the fun. THERE'S a visit to the psychiatrist that I will never make.
Anyway, because of M.T. classes are not full. So I've been doing fun exercises and falling behind in the textbooks. Not to worry, I planned for this. I knew all about M.T.
But it's the weekend! And I'm spending it at home in Mokpo this time. I had to get my cable fixed. I needed the cable TV cancelled and removed and I wanted a technician to come to my house and explain to me why Yahoo Messenger won't work with the new cable. I had KT Telecom cable in Yangju and Yahoomess. worked like a hotdamn! No problems at all. I have made no changes to my computer since then, yet with the new cable Yahoo messenger won't work. It just disappears after I enter my username and password. When the guy installed the internet I saw him raise my security from "low-medium" to "medium" setting. I tried to lower my security setting and wasn't allowed to. A warning came up saying programs would not work on this setting. So I figured I needed to customize the security setting somehow. But I don't have the confidence to monkey around with that kind of technical stuff yet. So I asked if I could get the technician who is removing my cable TV box to give it a whirl for me. Completely forgetting that I AM IN KOREA! I do that sometimes.
I went to Hanaro Cable and talked in person with Eun Ja, the local "English" service provider. She deals with the English speaking customers and, bless her heart, she's trying but I use quotes because it ain't English she's speaking. She's got her own special version of our language that is quite worthy of analysis, (by someone who cares about stuff like that), because it's uniquely non-mainstream Korean, yet not in a better way. I suspect she got an English speaking hagwon teacher to write her an English sample to present at an interview which got her the position of helping English speakers at Hanaro Cable. Happens all the time. She is just fractionally better than trying to communicate to someone who doesn't speak a lick of English. Which is why I had to go in person because trying to communicate with her on the phone is an exercise in futility. But I have to say I appreciate the effort.
Anyway, she explained to me that the reason I wasn't getting any new shows on the cable system I was paying 8000 won a month for was because there ARE no new shows till June. When the guy(s) installed it they plugged the bare cable into my TV and I saw about 100 channels. Lots of English and sports channels. The ones I'm interested in, of course. Then they rerouted the cable through this box that flashes a friendly "Hello! Welcome to Hana TV." when I turn it on. It looks to be something like what I understand Teevo to be. The box records stuff and if you happen to miss a show you can just ring it up and watch it commercial free with fast forward, pause, rewind etc. Sounds good right? Well recently there was a HUGE game in the Olympic qualifying baseball tournament between Korea and Canada and I know for a fact it was on KBS. I searched and searched. But couldn't find it. The Arnold Palmer Invitational was on TV but wasn't recorded. NOTHING new was recorded. I looked through the entire library of stuff on the box an nothing was more recent than October. So it was a box full of old shows. WOW! AWESOME! And with this box connected I got 15 channels instead of the 100 I KNOW my TV can get. So I'm paying 8000 won a month for WORSE TV! OINK! OINK! OINK!
By the way Canada beat Korea in that game. I still haven't seen it but looked it up on the internet. Now Canada, Korea and Taiwan get to play in the Olympic baseball tourney in Beijing. Anyhoo, of course I wanted the stupid box removed. Not only was it limiting my TV from 100 channels to 15, it made this camera flash noise every 10 seconds that was quite annoying. So I told Eun Ja. She pleaded that there would be new shows in June. Maybe. I just didn't really feel like keeping the service till then. Paying 8 grand for diminished service is something I can't imagine people doing elsewhere. So we agreed to disconnect that. Then I tried to explain to her the problem I was having with Yahoo Messenger. It was not going well. But I gave up and just told her to get the guy who removes the cable TV box to check my computer. She agreed. I thought my problems were over. But I forgot I AM IN KOREA.
Close to the Hanaro office there's a little temple and a bit of a hike up a hill to a nice view of the ocean and the city of Mokpo. So I decided to get some exercise. The temple, (forget the name Seuk Nam Sa or something like that), was cool. Some interesting pictures at the base of the roof. I've seen many temples in Korea and other places. They're all basically the same but at the base of the roof are some pictures depicting stories of Buddhas and they are always very cool. This one was, (As far as I could imagine), the story of a monk who followed some footprints to an ox and eventually tamed the ox. The ox turned from brown to white as it became more enlightened. Soon the monk could ride the ox and play his flute while on its back. But then the ox died and the monk missed it and told children of it. I couldn't figure out the rest of the story. I'm sure there's more to the story but I enjoy making up my own stories as I look at the pictures.
So I'm hiking up the hill and EXACTLY as I get to the summit, and am completely out of breath, the phone rings. It's a service guy from Hanaro. He speaks very good English. He asked me what I wanted to do. So I told him. He asked me all about my problems with the cable and... in ... very ... laboured ... sentences ... I ... told ... him exactly what I'd tried to tell Eun Ju. I need to do more hiking. I'm WAY out of shape. But eventually I caught my breath and told him what the problems were. I asked if I could get just the bare cable with 100 channels and he assured me that it was "impossible". Like I had been hallucinating. I know I saw the guy press the button on my TV remote. You know the button you press when the TV goes through all the channels and programs them into its memory. It went on for a long time. And I saw lots of good channels. But he assured me it was "impossible". So I said fine, just take the box out and cancel the cable TV. I was pretty sure that the cable I had was hooked up to some other service and that that was where the 100 channels came from. So I was hoping to save 8 grand a month and get GOOD cable TV.
Then he asked about the internet. I told him it was fine except that Yahoo Messenger wasn't working. Of course he asked the requisite questions you ask when you're dealing with an idiot. Did you use the correct password and username? Was your capslock button on? etc. After I patiently endured those questions, he went on to do the other standard move here. Get the customer to do your work for you. I swear the phrase should be "Pass the won" not "Pass the buck". Cuz even though they didn't invent it, Koreans are masters of it. He says to me, "Why don't you get another messenger program?" No I don't want to do that. "Well I'm sure lots of other programs like NATE or HANMAIL will work." Yeah, sure, get all my friends to download the same SHYTE Korean programs so they can chat with me. Also, the only way I'd be able to contact most of my friends and family is thru Yahoo Messenger and since it doesn't work I don't have their yahoomess. names and I can't for the life of me remember them off by heart. No let's just try to fix this problem. I told him to send someone who can fix it. He said it might happen next day at 2 or maybe in 2 or 3 days. I ask why the guy who removes the cable TV box can't be the same one to check my computer and he says it's "impossible". So I thank him and compliment him on his English service.
I continued hiking. Seconds later another guy called. He had zero English. I didn't understand what he said but I assumed it was the guy who was gonna disconnect my TV box. So in Korean I asked him to come the next day at 2. I am sure he understood before he hung up. Seconds later a girl with extremely limited English called me. She asked me when I'd be available to have my TV box disconnected. I told her that I had just talked to the guy about that. She didn't understand. I told her in Korean. She didn't understand. I then said a time, (2 o'clock), in Korean. She understood. Seconds later I got a call from Eun Ja. She asked me if I wanted my TV and my internet cancelled. I tried to rehash what we'd laboured over in the office maybe 30 minutes before but talking to her on the phone is impossible. So in Korean I told her TV-no need, internet-need. Seconds later I got a call from a guy who spoke passable English. He was the technician who was gonna check my computer. He said he'd come by at 2 the next day. Seconds later... I'm not kidding... I got a call from a woman who spoke Korean at lightning speed. All I could understand was Hanaro Cable. Then I said, "Hangul mal mot hayo." That means I can't speak Korean. She unceremoniously hung up on my ass.
So the next day I'm at work at 12:30 and I get a call. It's the guy whose gonna disconnect my cable TV. He's at my house! Imagine a cable guy coming EARLY!!! I told him in Korean that I was at work and I'd be home at 2. The time we'd agreed upon? He said okay. Seconds later... again I'm not kidding... I got a call from the technician who was coming to fix my Yahoomess. He was at my house too! I should have bought a lottery ticket that day I swear to God. Two cable guys being early! Those are the longest odds I'm ever gonna beat in my life. Just my luck there was no way to place a bet on it. So I tell him to come at 2 too.
They both came around 2 o'clock. The TV guy disconnected the box and left me with a vastly inferior bare cable wire than I had before Hanaro reared its ugly head around these parts. Somehow the cable is now only the 15 crappy channels I had with the cable box installed. The hundred channels I had previously on the bare cable somehow magically disappeared! I asked him how to hook up my Xbox so I could use Xbox Live and play games with other people online but he had no idea. Then minutes later the computer guy came. I showed him very slowly what happens when I try to log onto Yahoomess. Then I showed him the security settings and told him I thought I needed to customize them. I'm pretty sure he understood but disagreed on the basis that I couldn't possibly know more about MY computer than him. He sat down at my computer and started typing and clicking and doing all kinds of stuff on my computer like he was playing Starcraft. I couldn't follow him at all. But the upshot of the whole deal was that he couldn't fix it. First he told me I had to reinstall Windows XP. This has happened to me before. It's what they say when they don't know what the problem is but want to save face. By this time the TV cable guy was with us. They both assured me I had to reinstall Window XP. I told them I didn't. Repeatedly. They got the picture. Then they told me I didn't have enough space on my harddrive for the Messenger program to work. Well it just so happens that I did regular maintainence a few days before. I cleaned both my disks and defragged them too. I have 17 gigs on one harddrive and 11 on the other. Plenty of room for Messenger. So they decided to play the trusty virus card. They both assured me that despite their misdiagnosed Windows and harddrive problems, they were very sure I had a virus. Dipshits. They offered to take my computer and, (in 3 or 4 days), fix the problem. I flatly refused. I let a guy do that once before and he replaced all my expensive, superior hardware with cheap inferior stuff that it was hard to tell from the other. Not gonna happen again. Besides there's March Madness happening all week. You can watch all the game live, or recorded on ncaa.com. This is the only basketball I ever watch except the live stuff. So I'm not gonna surrender my computer at this time.
Well they tried to get Eun Ja involved a few times. They called her and she tried to communicate to me what they were saying. I had no idea what she was saying so I thanked her and hung up. Then when they changed their story from replace Windows to not enough space on harddrive they called her again. AGAIN I couldn't understand her but I had understood the guys who speak less English. Anyway, I asked her not to try to help any more. lol We didn't call her when they tried the virus story.
So I basically told these guys to hit the road thanking them and being nice even though they had lied repeatedly to me, done nothing to help me and may have attempted to screw me big time and left me with about 85 fewer TV channels and, (I would find out later), a TON of adjustments made to my computer that I would have to UNdo. While he was at my computer the guy tried all kinds of things that changed the settings from what I'm comfortable with to what he thought, (and was wrong), would fix the problem. I am STILL finding things that I have to fix. Word to the wise: don't let a Korean on your computer for more than 2 minutes or it'll never be the same again. He changed fonts, favourites, settings, erased websites, names, passwords all kinds of stuff that I have been boggling my mind to retrieve all day long to fix what he fucked up.
HOWEVER, in the spirit of the new positivity I've found in Mokpo, I still have effective internet and I won't be charged for the cable TV I had, as far as I know. I can still use Yahoo beta. I just can't use webcam or send files or talk into a mike. AND internet is about half the price of what the GOOD internet was in Yangju. So it's a small price to pay I guess.
Oh, and by the way, OINK means Only IN Korea.
Sunday, March 16, 2008
Meatloaf and Scalloped Potatoes
MMMMmmmmmm. Just like Mom used to make. The meatloaf was good and the spuds were spectacular. Even better than Mom's I think. But her meatloaf was better. I'm definitely gonna cook this again. I just finished eating. I am so happy right now it's ridiculous! I LOVE my oven!!!
Saturday, March 15, 2008
Ta I Guh Jeu!!!
One thing about having a really busy week is a person tends to try to cram as much into the weekends as possible. Friday after work I came home, cleaned the whole house, took my short sleeved shirts to the cleaners to get one really good clean and iron before short sleeve weather, also took in my new pants to get hemmed, bought a casserole dish for scalloped potatoes on Sunday, looked for some shoes, made an entry to the blog, dug out my Kia Tigers paraphernalia for the game, packed a "just-in-case" bag for game day, charged the camera, did two loads of laundry, sewed a button onto a shirt, I mean I did EVERYTHING that needed doing. Everything but lesson planning for next week. That's for Sunday. Always has been for me. I am a firm believer that pressure turns coal into diamonds so I usually keep it until LATE Sunday.
Here we are enjoying a Cass and an OB Blue. I hadn't seen Yong Hoon since the days I taught at Seogang College. He was one of my students. His major was tourism. Now he works for Hanatour, the biggest tour company in Korea. So I guess he did pretty well for himself. Musta been the good teaching. Heh heh. Hope he can pull some strings and get his old teacher some cheap tickets at vacation time...
The small pic is Lima throwin' heat. The bigger pic is Choi He Seop, (who played a while in the majors), trotting back to the dugout with Kia up 2-0. One big change I noticed is the turf. Moodeung had natural grass before so scores were higher. It's gonna be unnaturally perfect bounces now all over the field. That'll make it a better place for a defensive team to play. I HATE defence! So I'm not real happy with the turf. On the other hand, the Tigers have a pretty offensive squad this year. They should score a lot of runs.
I dunno if you can tell but I have a bit of a sunburn from the game. It looks like it may be short sleeve shirt weather already! Good thing I took the shirts to the cleaners.
Here it is early Sunday and all I have to do is thaw the meat for meatloaf, (which I will bake with the scalloped potatoes today), plan my lessons and monkey around on the old computator. That's what Sunday should be like folks. I'll probly take a nice Sunday nap too. Yeah baby!
But Saturday was awesome! I took the bus to Gwangju. It was full. Every seat had at least one person in it. One or two had a person with a kid on his/her lap. I got the seat in the very back of the bus on the very right side. Because the seats at the back are elevated I had to deal with the curvature of the bus roof so I was kinda kinked to the left for an hour and 20 minute bus ride. Not comfortable but worth it. I got to Moodeung Stadium, bought beer, and met my old baseball buddy Yong Hoon in the absolute best seats in the house. Unlike the bus, every seat was empty when I got there and every seat was free. So we sat in the second deck right at first base.
Here we are enjoying a Cass and an OB Blue. I hadn't seen Yong Hoon since the days I taught at Seogang College. He was one of my students. His major was tourism. Now he works for Hanatour, the biggest tour company in Korea. So I guess he did pretty well for himself. Musta been the good teaching. Heh heh. Hope he can pull some strings and get his old teacher some cheap tickets at vacation time...The game itself coulda been better. It was a pitching duel. The Kia pitcher is a guy who I think is gonna get us a few wins this year all by himself. His name is Jose Lima. He used to play for the L.A. Dodgers. I suppose L.A. is a fertile hunting ground for Korean baseball teams since every scout probly has a relative they could visit there while scouting. I don't know if Lima's from Cuba, Puerto Rico, The Dominican, or Peru but I could hear him talking to himself out there on the mound in Spanish. He looks to be a good pitcher. He kept the Lotte Giants' bats pretty quiet. And in the 3rd inning the Kia clean-up hitter, (forget his name), and Choi Hee Seop hit back to back dingers to put us up by two runs. 
The small pic is Lima throwin' heat. The bigger pic is Choi He Seop, (who played a while in the majors), trotting back to the dugout with Kia up 2-0. One big change I noticed is the turf. Moodeung had natural grass before so scores were higher. It's gonna be unnaturally perfect bounces now all over the field. That'll make it a better place for a defensive team to play. I HATE defence! So I'm not real happy with the turf. On the other hand, the Tigers have a pretty offensive squad this year. They should score a lot of runs.Anyway, things were looking rosy for us Kia Tiger faithful. That is until Lima left. The only left-handed sidearm pitcher in the league was his replacement. He didn't fare so well. The bull pen gave up 4 runs and the Lotte bull pen surrendered none. 4-2 was the final score. For Lotte. Dang! Usually when I go the Tigers win. Okay, now with the excuses: A LOT of the regulars weren't playing. Lee Yong Gyu was on the Korean Olympic qualifying team so didn't play; Lee Jong Beom was there but didn't play; Chang Sung Ho only had one at bat; Hong Sae Weon is injured; Lee Jae Joo was there but didn't play... when I look at this lineup I can't wait to see what happens when they're all playing together! Add Wilson Valdez, who Kia bought from the L.A. Dodgers, (and who was hitting .343 in triple A ball), and the Tigers leading hitter last season to the mix along with regulars Shim Jae Hak, Kim Sang Hoon, and former Devil Ray Seo Jae Weong as a number 2 pitcher. Pretty darn solid! I think it's gonna be a good season.
So after the game I went to the batting cage, as I often do after a game, and slugged a few balls with Yong Hoon. Then we made a deal to meet at the Tigers opening day game April 1st against the Doosan Bears. I then walked to my friend Sam Shik's skin care clinic nearby. He was just finishing up. I sat in his office and talked for a while with him. Saw a few of his staff that I recognized and said hello. He showed me pics from his recent family trip to Guam and I showed him the pics on this blog from the Philippines. So then he wanted me to show him how to blog. Now he's got a blog too.
He invited me to go to a movie with his family. It was in celebration of his son Seung Min being elected vice president of his class. I wanted to go but, like last weekend, I was still on a mission to find some shoes that fit. I had recently been given a hot tip by another of my co-workers at Mokpo U. named Jocelyn. She told me they can custom make shoes at Shinsegae Department Store in Gwangju. It's right next to the bus terminal and pretty close to Sam Shik's clinic and Moodeung Stadium so I figured I'd better stay on task, (and in the same neighbourhood). Sam Shik drove me to Shinsegae in his impressive new Audi. Flash car, Sam Shik!
I tried on all kinds of shoes there and sure enough none fit. But try as I might, I just couldn't find the place where I could get shoes custom made. I was speaking sign language to a few Shinsegae employees but none of the workers on the shoe floor seemed to understand what I was on about. Finally I called up my friend Min Ha in hopes that he could help with some translation. Last weekend while I was eating at Outback Steakhouse, Min Ha was just across the street at T.G.I.Fridays. So I called him up and he was in Shinsegae! I was on the 3rd floor and he was on the 1st! He was meeting a girl for dinner and a movie. One of us must be stalking the other!
Anyway, long story short, he helped a LOT and I got some shoes!!! Well, I paid for them. They're being delivered next week Tuesday to Mokpo University. They measured my feet, traced them onto a piece of paper and everything. So these babies better fit. And they were on sale for a mere 188,000 won. That's about 188 bucks Canadian. Good thing I got them on sale... smirk. But at least I got shoes that'll fit now. So I got that taken care of finally. And for his translation services Min Ha got the Shinsegae points and a gift certificate for 10 bucks.
After that we went out for dinner. Guess where we went. You got it, T.G.I.Fridays. Here we are, Ji In, Min Ha and me. Do you think I'm underdressed?
I dunno if you can tell but I have a bit of a sunburn from the game. It looks like it may be short sleeve shirt weather already! Good thing I took the shirts to the cleaners. After a super good burger and cheesy pasta dinner, I took the bus home to Mokpo. Got to my house around midnight. A full day to be sure!
In summation I'd like to say, na na na na - Ki, na na na na - A, na na na na na - Ta I Guh Jeu!
Friday, March 14, 2008
Mokpo University
For my 100th post I figured I'd introduce you all to my new school. I'm now working at Mokpo National University way down at the bottom of the country. I just finished my second week of work and so far it's been pretty nice. If you ever read my blog you'll know that "nice" has little to do with money. In fact I'm working longer hours for less money. 22 hours a week as compared to the 18 and 12 I worked the last two years respectively. Also I'm teaching four courses instead of one. Using 4 different textbooks means I have quadruple the lesson planning to do since last year and the year before I used only one text for all my classes. I will also be teaching kids. And I get 6 weeks vacation this year compared to 5 months. So how in the name of Frick can I like this better than my previous jobs? A few reasons: I haven't been scammed, (yet); the people I'm working with, including the Koreans, are sociable and nice, (so far); and I have a really great place where I can bake food in my oven, take a bath in my tub, get hot water at any time of the day, store a ton of stuff in my huge fridge, have guests stay in my spare room if they want, grow some tomatoes out on one of the two lanais if I want, and have a party where people can actually sit in my living room on my couch!
The pic of Sam and Morris drinking water was a little after the graveyard. I'd say an hour into the hike. I was starting to worry a little about just how far we were getting away from the university. I had planned on doing a little hike and then going back into Mokpo city to do some things. I slowly saw those plans go by the wayside. But it was okay. We sat down at this site where there were benches and a gazebo and ate some kimbap. I brought cheese and crackers that we shared too. It was the best part of the trip I thought. But rather than turn around and go back the way we came, we pressed on.
It's amazing how much of a difference things like that make to me. Really amazing! Take a look at the crappy schedule I have and you will see what I mean.
I'm waking up before 6 am every day to catch the bus that gets me to work by 8. Then if I don't want to sit at school jerkin the gherkin during the long breaks I take a bus home and back again for the 6:30 class. The bus takes only about 20 minutes from the school to the bus stop BUT I have already waited for the bus for well over 20 minutes on several occasions. It's a lot of wasted time, I'll put it that way. So I really see no choice but to get a vehicle. The problem with that is my Canadian licence expired a couple years ago. I now have to take a test here in Korea. I'm not really sure where I guy can do that. Hopefully I'll find out soon.
Then I gotta decide what kind of vehicle to go with. I don't need a licence to ride a scooter and they're only 3 million won, (3 grand), brand new. But a scooter? It is okay to do things a bit on the gay side here but I think I'll go with the more heterosexual motorized bike. For that I'll need a licence. Well, truth be told I rode my bike for 2 years in Seoul without licencing it. But every time I was stopped by a cop I showed him my Canadian driver's licence and the shape of my eyes and I was waved onward. I had to fake like I didn't understand what I was being told a few times but I got by.
I am going to try to do it all legal like this time. But I swear here and now if it's as much hassle as the work visa is every damn year, screw it, I'll pay the ticket for riding without a licence if I ever get caught.
I swore I'd never drive a car in this country but I am thinking that might be the way to go. And I'll really have to get a licence then. I'll blog more about that story as events warrant.
I went hiking with Sam and David Morris during one of my long, long, long breaks last Thursday. First I need to clarify that there are 3 male teachers at Mokpo U. right now, all named David. Sam is a chick. She's the one on the left. Ar ar.
We went up into the mountains that surround the university. The pic below is of a graveyard nearby. You see the parking lot? To the left is the building where we work. Brand new. Nice too. Also a benefit to this place. 
The pic of Sam and Morris drinking water was a little after the graveyard. I'd say an hour into the hike. I was starting to worry a little about just how far we were getting away from the university. I had planned on doing a little hike and then going back into Mokpo city to do some things. I slowly saw those plans go by the wayside. But it was okay. We sat down at this site where there were benches and a gazebo and ate some kimbap. I brought cheese and crackers that we shared too. It was the best part of the trip I thought. But rather than turn around and go back the way we came, we pressed on.
The university got farther
and farther
away.
It wasn't a stormy day, that mist is just Chinese sand. Sam said her contacts felt a bit fuzzy from it. I'm sure it did none of us any good to be breathing it in either. But whatever doesn't kill us just makes us stronger, right?
I was lucky to be hiking with two so well traveled individuals and they regaled me with stories of world travel. David talked of his adventures in Italy and turning down a job offer in Tuscany because the woman he loved couldn't get a visa and join him. They're now married. Angie works at Mokpo U. too.
Sam talked about backpacking around Europe too and rooming on the cheap. David and her exchanged scary hostel stories. I had nothin'. Never been to Europe.
Then Sam talked of visiting her ancestors in India and seeing how some of the folks there lived with no phone no lights no motorcars not a single luxury. Like Robinson Ca rusoe as primitive as can be.
I gotta say I felt a bit like Bilbo Baggins leaving behind the comfort of the Shire and reluctantly leaving a warm bed, oven, tub, big fridge etc. and knowing that every step left them farther behind. But as Sam(wise) and Morris (the grey) talked of their journeys the old muscles started getting used to the strain. And even though I envied them for having been to so many places I'd never been, (and for having virtually bone dry and saltless clothing relative to mine), before I was able to develop a healthy grudge, we were back at the school.
The building on the far right is ours. So the knees felt a bit arthritic for the rest of the day, but I was okay for classes Friday. In fact I felt a lot better than expected. After classes I walked quite a ways to Lotte Mart and bought two bags of groceries, which I lugged home. So I'm getting some exercise here in Mokpo. That's good. But so far the best thing has been the people.
I've already had a little wine and cheese mixer at my house. I invited another co-worker, (and the gal responsible for recommending me), Joan over for some lasagna one night. And the teachers have met together on a couple other occasions. Already more socializing than the past two years combined. I'm liking that. And I'm close to my Gwangju friends too! I went out for beer at the German brew pub with Kasia, Min Ha and a couple of Kasia's friends. It was really great beer there! I wanna go drink more soon. Since it was a pub I met quite a few people and had a pretty good time. I even ran into one of MY friends there. And this weekend I'm going to Gwangju again to watch my first, (of many), Kia Tigers game of the year! It's an exhibition so it's free. I'm stoked about that! Exhibitions are better. No concessions, no crowds, no endless chanting and cheering, B.Y.O.B., just baseball for baseball's sake. I'll probly post some pics of that in entry number 101. See you then.