The other day I was walking down the street in Yong In and I saw a coffee shop with the familiar green logo, letters, interior etc. that was unmistakeably Starbucks. They're taking over the world, Starbucks. Soon the price of coffee will be overinflated EVERYWHERE. But on closer inspection, no, it was Starbangs. I wish I had my camera with me so I could have taken a picture. However, I doubt I would have been able to post it here anyway.
The ubiquitous copywright infringement. Charmingly hilarious! Some of the better examples I can think of have been the Jurassic Prak night club I saw with everything stolen from the movie. My friend Kim collects things like this. She has a "Dorald Duke" t-shirt with Donald Duck silkscreened on and even the little circled C's and R's unwittingly copied with him. I have a whole collection of ties with Simpsons characters illegally reproduced. I have an animator friend who tells me that drawing muppet characters like Big Bird or Ernie and Bert, (without permission), is a lucrative industry. And one of my greatest regrets in Korea was the pair of "Ree" jeans with the flagrantly copied "Ree" branded leather patch on them that I didn't buy just because they were too small.
It's impossible to know when you are buying, for example, golf clubs over here whether you are getting an actual, legitimate, original Cobra driver or whether it's just a cheap immitation. Cheaply MADE, (by slave labourers in China), but not cheaply priced any more. Those "clever" Asians are starting to realize that people know it's fake if the price gets too low. I don't know how many times I've been accosted on the streets of I Tae Won, (a popular foreigner shopping and entertainment district in Seoul), with, "Rolex? Genuine immitation Rolex?" Last month I bought a pair of Levi's jeans there FROM a Levi's store ON SALE for only 85 bucks, but they're probably fakes. And so many girls have the, (fake), designer clothes and shoes and purses that I am starting to recognize some of the names and patterns, God help me!
Now you may think it's all harmless and you may forgive them because, (as they all seem to have convinced themselves), they HAVE to do it to feed their families. I used to believe this too. But both are wrong. There ARE a few people who cheat to survive in some Asian countries. I even find myself allowing myself to be cheated sometimes. And not so long ago in Korea I think the cheating would have been more respectable as well. But I have found that economics change much faster than social values and ideas. Korea's economy is now a world powerhouse, but they are STILL cheating because that's how their forefathers succeeded. Their forefathers had to cheat, they don't. But they are still respected, preferred as mates, generally favoured as if they DO. Ask a Korean or Chinese person if one can succeed in business without cheating and don't be surprised when they laugh at you. It's gonna be a while before this changes.
But how is this harmful to me? To you? I am certainly no expert so I can't speak knowledgeably about how countries that have enacted and enforced business laws to force business past this "cheating to succeed" phase seem to, with the new global economy, be the ones who are BEING influenced by, rather than doing the influencing to the countries that haven't progressed past it. But I can give a few examples of how I think it has negatively influenced MY life. Most recently, about half an hour ago.
Half an hour ago I got an email from my university in response to my request for sealed transcripts to be mailed to my new employer here in Korea. You see it's no longer enough to produce an original diploma from my university, it could be a fake purchased on Kaosan road in Thailand. It isn't enough that last year amidst a wave of foreign teachers found to have used phony degrees, (given to them by their Korean recruiters), ALL foreigners were forced to have their degrees verified at their local immigration offices. I have an original degree, on record at all the immigration offices as having been verified just over a year ago, but that's not enough. Now we also need to have sealed transcripts mailed to new employers directly from our alma maters. I have already done this once. A couple of years ago. It costs money and it's an extra hassle. But that's the price we pay for people trying to cheat.
It gets worse. I emailed my school like I did two years ago and made my request. I included my student number, my social insurance number, the address of my new employer, said hello to the worker who did this for me two years ago, but, nope, I could be a fake. Things in Canada are quickly changing so that we will never have to, and never be able to trust anyone ever again. You can't do anything in Canada without taking a thousand extra legal steps to cover your ass against fraud. A lawyer's paradise. Hell for Joe average. Why? We are being forceably protected against the dangerous practice of trusting people while at the same time being relieved of the difficult responsibility of being honest.
Back to my situation. The email stated that due to recent government regulations requests for transcripts will not be processed unless sent from your personal university email address no doubt only attainable through personal appearance, fingerprinting and d.n.a. testing. They also gave me a link to their webpage for alternate forms of transcript requests. It turns out that a request can be made by fax. Great. So I'll go into my new employer and give them the fax number and get them to fax the request. I figured I was out of the woods. How could I be so foolish?
I went to the part of the page where it lists acceptable forms of payment. Cash. That's out. I'm in Korea. I could buy Canadian cash here and mail it but that would be foolish and time consuming. Certified check. That's out too. Although they ARE available in this country, the majority of bank tellers will look at you like you have three heads if you request one. I've tried. Visa or Mastercard. That's out. I don't have either.
Last year I paid with an e-transfer from my Canadian account to the Lakehead university account. I guess some clever person has found a way in the last two years to defraud THIS system of payment as well.
In summation, I am going to have to go through a lot of unnecessary hassle, and waste a lot of time to do something in the slowest, most difficult way, that is totally unnecessary for me to have to do in the first place. All because of peole who can't stop lying, cheating and stealing! Grrrr!
On a lighter note, I'm tied for fourth place in the NFL.com playoff pool. First prize is two tickets to the next Super Bowl. Hotel and airfare included. I checked out the rules for the pool to see if airfare from Korea would be possible. After reading one of the twelve pages of Legalese written specifically to cover their asses against fraud because in the past somebody cheated, I gave up. I kinda hope I DON'T win now.
Tuesday, January 30, 2007
Sunday, January 21, 2007
Heavenly Hockey Card
Who is the greatest street hockey player who ever lived? Would even he, or for that matter, she, (har har), know? I may not have been the best, but I have some pretty impressive statistics. And when I die, if God finds me worthy to enter into Heaven, it is my greatest wish to know how I stacked up against all the street hockey players of the world. I hope God meets me with a handshake, a “Well done, good and faithful servant,” and a hockey card with an action shot of me on the front and exhaustive statistics on the back.
I don’t just want to know goals, assists, penalties, shooting percentage, breakaway success rate and the like. If God made the card, and God is omni present, potent and scient, we can expect more. I want to know statistics like how many one-timers I blasted into the net; the velocity of my hardest ever shots; how many times I would have scored if someone had not yelled, “Car!” I would like to see my scoring totals adjusted for unavoidable irregularities like playing with broken sticks or blades worn sliver thin, potholes, puddles, frost heaves and other challenging imperfections to the playing surface, and variant net sizes. I mean how accurate can you be when making nets out of boots, crushed pop cans, bits of litter, broken stick blades etc.? Really, the only consistent street hockey goal I ever used was from a pair of stringed mittens I got for Christmas one year. And I only got them because of my propensity toward losing unattached mittens. And this propensity existed in turn because most of my mittens had, at one time or another, served as street hockey goalposts and had been slushed up, trodden upon, run over by passing cars or even bunched up and used as a ball in an emergency.
Only God could possibly know how many of my shots would have ricocheted off the post and gone in had the post not been a pile of slush, a toque, a rock, or a running shoe, the laces of which had been used to tie rectangular pieces of couch sponge to the shins of a goalie. And only God could fairly adjust my statistics for inequalities in teams or play. For example, what if one side had couch sponge pads for their goalie and the other team’s goalie just had to tie a couple telephone books to his shins? What if there was one player much older and bigger, or much younger and smaller? What if you had to play with a girl because she was somebody’s sister or cousin and somebody wasn’t allowed to play unless she did too? What if one side had a dead end wall or a curb, but the other side had to wear itself out chasing errant balls past their goal and down the street? What if the street was actually not level? And of course, what if one team’s net was larger than the other team’s? Only God knows how this changed the game.
And only God knows about the NON-statistics. Like how many games did I play at the beginning of my career when the older kids wouldn’t pass to me? Even though I was just as good, or maybe better, they cost me a lot of statistics that way. And how many times did I pass to a younger kid, (remembering how I hated not being passed to), or a worse player who blew the goal and cost me the assist? Or how many times did I have an easy goal but I passed to someone to give them the glory? How many times did I pass to the new kid and try to get him involved? How many times had I been captain and picked the new kid? Or picked the crappy player before somebody better than him just to boost his ego? How many times did I have a chance to lie and say I’d scored, but didn’t? Or how many times had I continued playing even though I was absolutely sure I HAD scored a goal? How many times had I moved the net for a passing car, chased a ball down a hill or looked for one in the bushes? How many times could I have hacked, slashed or started a fight, but chose not to? How many times did I break up a fight between two other players? How many times had I agreed to play goalie even though I’m a lousy goalie, I usually can’t score when I’m in net, we were using a frozen ball and I had no cup? How many times had I helped others melt their superblades to get a really sweet curve? How many kids did I teach to tape their sticks? How many thousands of hacks did I take on the shins without complaint? I think God would be most concerned with these non-statistics.
When I think about it, my heavenly hockey card is going to be awfully long. That or it’ll have microscopic printing. Either way it’ll be okay because I’ll have eternity to study it. But I won’t just receive the card. I think it would be almost sacrilege to underestimate the glory of Heaven so. No, I believe after God gives me the handshake, the “Well done, good and faithful servant,” and my heavenly hockey card, He, (or she (har har)), and I will sit down on some comfy chairs, or maybe clouds, get a nice bottle of Molson or ambrosia or pomegranate wine or myrrh, (is myrrh a drink? Is it even a liquid? I never DID know what myrrh was), whatever beverage goes best with hockey watching, and we’ll watch any games we want. From any time past or present. Maybe even future! I could watch the first game I ever played. Wow, that was a long time ago. I wonder how old I was and who I played with. I could watch THE first game ever played! Was it in Canada? Did they use a cow pie instead of a puck? Was it played on a pond? Did they use sticks that they had hewn out of logs themselves? Was it even on ice? Which came first, street hockey or ice hockey? Again, probably only God knows the answer.
I would love to watch the first goal I ever scored. The thrill on my rosy-cheeked face would bring a tear to my eye in Heaven. Could there be a thrill more unimaginably intoxicating than scoring the Stanley Cup winning goal? Perhaps scoring an Olympic gold medal-winning goal. Or maybe everyone feels something similar when they score their first goal. And I’m not talking about Dad or big brother flailing their bodies in mock attempts to stop a shot that only just makes it into the net. I’m talking about playing with peers and scoring a legitimate goal. When was my first? I can’t believe I have forgotten such a momentous occasion. Then again I don’t remember my first breath, my first friend or my first taste of my favourite food.
I could watch one of so many first games I played at many new schools. Invariably I was picked last and used sparingly until the other players noticed my abilities and began to include me in play and even celebrate goals with me.
I could watch the last game I ever played. That’ll be when I’m very old I hope. If I am very lucky, it will be the last thing I do on earth. Dying of a heart attack while playing hockey wouldn’t be so bad. I could watch any game I have ever played! I could watch EVERY game I have ever played! God and I just might do this BEFORE He decides whether or not I am worthy of entry into Heaven. What more would we really need to see?
I don’t just want to know goals, assists, penalties, shooting percentage, breakaway success rate and the like. If God made the card, and God is omni present, potent and scient, we can expect more. I want to know statistics like how many one-timers I blasted into the net; the velocity of my hardest ever shots; how many times I would have scored if someone had not yelled, “Car!” I would like to see my scoring totals adjusted for unavoidable irregularities like playing with broken sticks or blades worn sliver thin, potholes, puddles, frost heaves and other challenging imperfections to the playing surface, and variant net sizes. I mean how accurate can you be when making nets out of boots, crushed pop cans, bits of litter, broken stick blades etc.? Really, the only consistent street hockey goal I ever used was from a pair of stringed mittens I got for Christmas one year. And I only got them because of my propensity toward losing unattached mittens. And this propensity existed in turn because most of my mittens had, at one time or another, served as street hockey goalposts and had been slushed up, trodden upon, run over by passing cars or even bunched up and used as a ball in an emergency.
Only God could possibly know how many of my shots would have ricocheted off the post and gone in had the post not been a pile of slush, a toque, a rock, or a running shoe, the laces of which had been used to tie rectangular pieces of couch sponge to the shins of a goalie. And only God could fairly adjust my statistics for inequalities in teams or play. For example, what if one side had couch sponge pads for their goalie and the other team’s goalie just had to tie a couple telephone books to his shins? What if there was one player much older and bigger, or much younger and smaller? What if you had to play with a girl because she was somebody’s sister or cousin and somebody wasn’t allowed to play unless she did too? What if one side had a dead end wall or a curb, but the other side had to wear itself out chasing errant balls past their goal and down the street? What if the street was actually not level? And of course, what if one team’s net was larger than the other team’s? Only God knows how this changed the game.
And only God knows about the NON-statistics. Like how many games did I play at the beginning of my career when the older kids wouldn’t pass to me? Even though I was just as good, or maybe better, they cost me a lot of statistics that way. And how many times did I pass to a younger kid, (remembering how I hated not being passed to), or a worse player who blew the goal and cost me the assist? Or how many times did I have an easy goal but I passed to someone to give them the glory? How many times did I pass to the new kid and try to get him involved? How many times had I been captain and picked the new kid? Or picked the crappy player before somebody better than him just to boost his ego? How many times did I have a chance to lie and say I’d scored, but didn’t? Or how many times had I continued playing even though I was absolutely sure I HAD scored a goal? How many times had I moved the net for a passing car, chased a ball down a hill or looked for one in the bushes? How many times could I have hacked, slashed or started a fight, but chose not to? How many times did I break up a fight between two other players? How many times had I agreed to play goalie even though I’m a lousy goalie, I usually can’t score when I’m in net, we were using a frozen ball and I had no cup? How many times had I helped others melt their superblades to get a really sweet curve? How many kids did I teach to tape their sticks? How many thousands of hacks did I take on the shins without complaint? I think God would be most concerned with these non-statistics.
When I think about it, my heavenly hockey card is going to be awfully long. That or it’ll have microscopic printing. Either way it’ll be okay because I’ll have eternity to study it. But I won’t just receive the card. I think it would be almost sacrilege to underestimate the glory of Heaven so. No, I believe after God gives me the handshake, the “Well done, good and faithful servant,” and my heavenly hockey card, He, (or she (har har)), and I will sit down on some comfy chairs, or maybe clouds, get a nice bottle of Molson or ambrosia or pomegranate wine or myrrh, (is myrrh a drink? Is it even a liquid? I never DID know what myrrh was), whatever beverage goes best with hockey watching, and we’ll watch any games we want. From any time past or present. Maybe even future! I could watch the first game I ever played. Wow, that was a long time ago. I wonder how old I was and who I played with. I could watch THE first game ever played! Was it in Canada? Did they use a cow pie instead of a puck? Was it played on a pond? Did they use sticks that they had hewn out of logs themselves? Was it even on ice? Which came first, street hockey or ice hockey? Again, probably only God knows the answer.
I would love to watch the first goal I ever scored. The thrill on my rosy-cheeked face would bring a tear to my eye in Heaven. Could there be a thrill more unimaginably intoxicating than scoring the Stanley Cup winning goal? Perhaps scoring an Olympic gold medal-winning goal. Or maybe everyone feels something similar when they score their first goal. And I’m not talking about Dad or big brother flailing their bodies in mock attempts to stop a shot that only just makes it into the net. I’m talking about playing with peers and scoring a legitimate goal. When was my first? I can’t believe I have forgotten such a momentous occasion. Then again I don’t remember my first breath, my first friend or my first taste of my favourite food.
I could watch one of so many first games I played at many new schools. Invariably I was picked last and used sparingly until the other players noticed my abilities and began to include me in play and even celebrate goals with me.
I could watch the last game I ever played. That’ll be when I’m very old I hope. If I am very lucky, it will be the last thing I do on earth. Dying of a heart attack while playing hockey wouldn’t be so bad. I could watch any game I have ever played! I could watch EVERY game I have ever played! God and I just might do this BEFORE He decides whether or not I am worthy of entry into Heaven. What more would we really need to see?
Thursday, January 18, 2007
Offense isn't offensive
A few things pervade my thoughts this week. One is football. Of the NFL sort. I think the best game of the year was Indy/New England when they met during the season. Too bad it's the playoffs and both teams seem to be buying into the old faithful, "Defence wins championships" nonsense that has killed so many a poolster. Although I DID pick the Colt defence and Adam V. their kicker, I almost puked when I saw such an offensive powerhouse play a whole game without a touchdown last week.
Watch for what I'm about to type in the game this week: Both Peyton and Brady have been guilty of throwing the "safe" passes recently, Peyton moreso than Brady. Although for most of the Pats' last game their best receiver, Reche Caldwell, only got ahold of one ball for a gain of more than 8 yards and that was a ball that was thrown to someone else, intercepted by the other team, fumbled and finally recovered by Caldwell for about a 20 yard gain. But when the going got tough, Brady came out of his shell. Caldwell finally got a long one that put them into game winning field goal position.
Peyton has looked more like Eli in his playoff games so far. Throwing those sideline and endzone un-interceptable passes much closer to the sidelines and endzones. So much closer that not only can't the OTHER team catch them, but the Colts' receivers can't either. Marvellous Marvin Harrison has been Starvin' Marvin for the last two weeks and Reggie Wayne might as well have been John Wayne, he ain't getting any passes. I think Peyton is suffering from Bill Buckneritis. Or I guess, unfortunately, that could be known as Tony Romoitis now. He's so worried about making a crappy play that'll lose the game that he's not making the big plays to win it. Brady threw 3 interceptions against the Chargers last week and won the game because he threw some MORE balls that could have been intercepted, but weren't.
Over their careers, and probably this weekend, that'll be the difference between Brady and Manning. If Manning is too scared to do what got him here and throw the ball, or if the coach is too scared to let him, Colts lose. But if he throws a few interceptions, I think they'll win.
Same with the Superbowl, although I'm impressed with the Bears using their offense and not their number 1 defence to win last week. I have to go with the Saints to beat them though. Sorry Heather and Mike. New Orleans had a hurricane, you guys in Chicago just have lots of wind. The sympathy vote goes to the Saints.
So in conclusion, I predict that the teams that are more offensive on the field and less offensive to the stomach will win. Colts beat Saints in the Superbowl.
But I may be in another country watching that. Another thing on my mind recently has been getting a new job then going on a vacation. If you are a regular reader you know I've worked at a shit school this year so I've been doing the interview thing recently. On Monday I have an interview at the place I most want to work. That sucks because Monday morning is NFL Sunday here in Korea. But I think I'll be able to watch that Colt/Pat game and THEN hightail it out of here to my interview a couple hours away. After that I'll be looking for a ticket to somewhere where I can sit beside the pool and watch the Superbowl. Probly Philippines or Thailand.
Go Colts go!
Watch for what I'm about to type in the game this week: Both Peyton and Brady have been guilty of throwing the "safe" passes recently, Peyton moreso than Brady. Although for most of the Pats' last game their best receiver, Reche Caldwell, only got ahold of one ball for a gain of more than 8 yards and that was a ball that was thrown to someone else, intercepted by the other team, fumbled and finally recovered by Caldwell for about a 20 yard gain. But when the going got tough, Brady came out of his shell. Caldwell finally got a long one that put them into game winning field goal position.
Peyton has looked more like Eli in his playoff games so far. Throwing those sideline and endzone un-interceptable passes much closer to the sidelines and endzones. So much closer that not only can't the OTHER team catch them, but the Colts' receivers can't either. Marvellous Marvin Harrison has been Starvin' Marvin for the last two weeks and Reggie Wayne might as well have been John Wayne, he ain't getting any passes. I think Peyton is suffering from Bill Buckneritis. Or I guess, unfortunately, that could be known as Tony Romoitis now. He's so worried about making a crappy play that'll lose the game that he's not making the big plays to win it. Brady threw 3 interceptions against the Chargers last week and won the game because he threw some MORE balls that could have been intercepted, but weren't.
Over their careers, and probably this weekend, that'll be the difference between Brady and Manning. If Manning is too scared to do what got him here and throw the ball, or if the coach is too scared to let him, Colts lose. But if he throws a few interceptions, I think they'll win.
Same with the Superbowl, although I'm impressed with the Bears using their offense and not their number 1 defence to win last week. I have to go with the Saints to beat them though. Sorry Heather and Mike. New Orleans had a hurricane, you guys in Chicago just have lots of wind. The sympathy vote goes to the Saints.
So in conclusion, I predict that the teams that are more offensive on the field and less offensive to the stomach will win. Colts beat Saints in the Superbowl.
But I may be in another country watching that. Another thing on my mind recently has been getting a new job then going on a vacation. If you are a regular reader you know I've worked at a shit school this year so I've been doing the interview thing recently. On Monday I have an interview at the place I most want to work. That sucks because Monday morning is NFL Sunday here in Korea. But I think I'll be able to watch that Colt/Pat game and THEN hightail it out of here to my interview a couple hours away. After that I'll be looking for a ticket to somewhere where I can sit beside the pool and watch the Superbowl. Probly Philippines or Thailand.
Go Colts go!
Friday, January 05, 2007
Tale of Three Countries
Okay, I’m no expert on what I’m about to write, but recent world events, movie viewing, internet surfing and distant echoes of past education have brought to my mind what I perceive as a clearer understanding of the Iraq situation. I could be wrong.
I’ll start with the movie. If you haven’t seen “Hotel Rwanda” go, get it NOW. The story takes place amidst the 100-day massacre of close to a million “Tootsies” by rival “Hutus”. The source of their difference was not race, belief, religion etc., but nose size and length. When Rwanda was colonized by Belgium, the Belgian colonists decided that Tootsies, in general, had longer, more slender noses. This was not a scientific, evolutionary or factual observation, it was just made up.
When the Belgians left, the Tootsies, a minority, were in charge of the country. They gave preference to people with longer, more slender noses. The Tootsies got more government funding, better jobs, etc. They even dispatched with troublesome nose inspections by creating identity cards with “Hutu” or “Tootsie” stamped in big letters across them.
Naturally, the mistreated majority revolted, and the result was an attempted genocide during which one tenth of the Rwandan people were massacred.
Now to Iraq. Almost everyone in Iraq is Muslim. There are some artificial divisions that are causing the commotion. Roughly 60% of the people are Shi’aa or Shia Arabs. Roughly 20% are Sunni Arabs and roughly 15% are Sunni Kurds. So the Sunni are the minority. During the rule of Saddam Hussein, himself a Sunni, the Sunnis were favoured by government, given better jobs etc.
The U.S. stepped in and gave Iraq a “democratic” government that is Shia controlled and actually limits the number of attainable seats for Sunnis.
What is the main difference between the Shia and the Sunni Muslim? This goes back to the death of the Prophet Muhammad. After he died, a new leader, Abu Bakr, his close friend and advisor, was elected as the leader of the Muslim people. Sunni support this election but the Shia believe that the new leader should have been a member of Muhammad’s family, his cousin/brother-in-law, Ali. “Shia” is actually a shortened form of “Shia-t-Ali” or the party of Ali. So throughout history Shia and Sunni Muslims have recognized different lines of leaders.
I find it extremely odd that the U.S. recognizes the group that supports “Imams” or leaders, who they believe are sinless and whose authority comes directly from God. The Sunni contend that leadership of the community is not a birthright, but a trust which is earned and may be given or taken by the people. This is virtually identical to the position the founding fathers of America held that caused them to spurn the king of England, (whose authority was believed to be directly from God), and elect their own leaders.
It is also odd that I have read several times that all Iraqis say that they are Iraqi. Not Sunni-Iraqi or Shia-Iraqi. They fought side by side against Iran, they represented their country together in the Olympics and they share all the fundamental Islamic beliefs.
Now a third and final country. It’s called Lilliput. Within Lilliput there existed a metropolis called Mildendo. For above 70 moons past there have been two struggling parties in this empire: the Tramecksan and the Slamecksan. These parties won’t eat, drink or talk with one another. What is the factor that causes their division? The Tramecksan wear high heeled shoes while the Slamecksan prefer low heeled footwear.
The very existence of the city of Mildendo is threatened by invasion from the island of Blefuscu. On Blefuscu there has raged a,
“most obstinate War for six and thirty Moons past.”
The war in Blefuscu is between the Big-Endian Exiles and the Blefuscuan traditionalists who honour their age-old traditions. What traditios are they fighting over? The Big-Endians break their eggs at the big end in brash opposition to the Blefuscuan tradition of breaking their eggs at the small end.
“It is computed, that eleven thousand Persons have,
at several times, suffered Death, rather than submit
to break their Eggs at the smaller End.”
If you haven’t spotted it, this third country is a fictional one derived from the fertile mind of Jonathan Swift and shared with the world in his book “Gulliver’s Travels”. Though the country of Lilliput and its various conflicts were satirical fabrications, I have been recently wondering if these wars are any less believable than those in Iraq and Rwanda. It’s a close call.
I’ll start with the movie. If you haven’t seen “Hotel Rwanda” go, get it NOW. The story takes place amidst the 100-day massacre of close to a million “Tootsies” by rival “Hutus”. The source of their difference was not race, belief, religion etc., but nose size and length. When Rwanda was colonized by Belgium, the Belgian colonists decided that Tootsies, in general, had longer, more slender noses. This was not a scientific, evolutionary or factual observation, it was just made up.
When the Belgians left, the Tootsies, a minority, were in charge of the country. They gave preference to people with longer, more slender noses. The Tootsies got more government funding, better jobs, etc. They even dispatched with troublesome nose inspections by creating identity cards with “Hutu” or “Tootsie” stamped in big letters across them.
Naturally, the mistreated majority revolted, and the result was an attempted genocide during which one tenth of the Rwandan people were massacred.
Now to Iraq. Almost everyone in Iraq is Muslim. There are some artificial divisions that are causing the commotion. Roughly 60% of the people are Shi’aa or Shia Arabs. Roughly 20% are Sunni Arabs and roughly 15% are Sunni Kurds. So the Sunni are the minority. During the rule of Saddam Hussein, himself a Sunni, the Sunnis were favoured by government, given better jobs etc.
The U.S. stepped in and gave Iraq a “democratic” government that is Shia controlled and actually limits the number of attainable seats for Sunnis.
What is the main difference between the Shia and the Sunni Muslim? This goes back to the death of the Prophet Muhammad. After he died, a new leader, Abu Bakr, his close friend and advisor, was elected as the leader of the Muslim people. Sunni support this election but the Shia believe that the new leader should have been a member of Muhammad’s family, his cousin/brother-in-law, Ali. “Shia” is actually a shortened form of “Shia-t-Ali” or the party of Ali. So throughout history Shia and Sunni Muslims have recognized different lines of leaders.
I find it extremely odd that the U.S. recognizes the group that supports “Imams” or leaders, who they believe are sinless and whose authority comes directly from God. The Sunni contend that leadership of the community is not a birthright, but a trust which is earned and may be given or taken by the people. This is virtually identical to the position the founding fathers of America held that caused them to spurn the king of England, (whose authority was believed to be directly from God), and elect their own leaders.
It is also odd that I have read several times that all Iraqis say that they are Iraqi. Not Sunni-Iraqi or Shia-Iraqi. They fought side by side against Iran, they represented their country together in the Olympics and they share all the fundamental Islamic beliefs.
Now a third and final country. It’s called Lilliput. Within Lilliput there existed a metropolis called Mildendo. For above 70 moons past there have been two struggling parties in this empire: the Tramecksan and the Slamecksan. These parties won’t eat, drink or talk with one another. What is the factor that causes their division? The Tramecksan wear high heeled shoes while the Slamecksan prefer low heeled footwear.
The very existence of the city of Mildendo is threatened by invasion from the island of Blefuscu. On Blefuscu there has raged a,
“most obstinate War for six and thirty Moons past.”
The war in Blefuscu is between the Big-Endian Exiles and the Blefuscuan traditionalists who honour their age-old traditions. What traditios are they fighting over? The Big-Endians break their eggs at the big end in brash opposition to the Blefuscuan tradition of breaking their eggs at the small end.
“It is computed, that eleven thousand Persons have,
at several times, suffered Death, rather than submit
to break their Eggs at the smaller End.”
If you haven’t spotted it, this third country is a fictional one derived from the fertile mind of Jonathan Swift and shared with the world in his book “Gulliver’s Travels”. Though the country of Lilliput and its various conflicts were satirical fabrications, I have been recently wondering if these wars are any less believable than those in Iraq and Rwanda. It’s a close call.
